And in the end times, when the stars align and the Earth is cleared off for the return of the Great Old Ones, with what shall the armies of Great Cthulhu be protected against the rage of Nodens and his fearsome allys, the Elder Gods?
With these:
And when we have won the battle and wish to slake our thirst for the blood of the vanquished, we shall serve it in this lovely teapot, also from the unofficial Benvenuto Cellini of the Great Old Ones, Miel-Margarita Paredes.
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Yes, he’s back. Brian Atene, everybody’s favorite YouTube Celebrity (what, you prefer Chris Crocker?) is back with more from the Dark Side.
“I’m just an analogue guy in a digital world.”
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Just when you thought they’d settled for poisoning your children.
But Nooooooooooo. The Yellow Peril, lurking all this time behind a mask of bland inscrutability and blind greed, has been quietly working since the collapse of the Cold War. Working on a project so secret that even the vast armies of workers working on it don’t know what it is they’re working on. Indeed: so secret they don’t even actually know they’re working at all.
It’s a secret, see? Quality control is so important.
I worry if whoever thought up the term ‘quality control’ thought that
if we didn’t control it, it would get out of hand.
Lily Tomlin
But what have they actually been working on? Oh, we’re glad you asked. For we right here at the ol’ raincoaster blog have got the world exclusive. Yes, we alone know exactly what mighty machine of destruction has been stealthily constructed, right under the very noses of the foreign Olympic-hunting paparazzi. Nothing less than the largest weapon of mass destruction since Britney’s appearance at the VMA’s. Nothing less than the Doomsday Machine Itself.
Beijing, China: Workmen clean the roof of the National Grand Theatre
Photograph: Adrian Bradshaw/EPA
Oh, how clever these Chinese are. They think we can be taken in by a simple line drawn in Photoshop and a two-bit reflection filter on a photograph that had to pass through vigilant bureaucratic censors. They think we really believe this to be a simple photograph of workers on top of a rounded building, a concert hall, a theatre perhaps. HA! But if you have the skill to remove the slave-created, primitive layers of deception all is revealed after the jump.
A click here, a click there, and voilà! The naked truth is revealed:
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raincoaster 