Fame, Glory, Sex and Money through Blogging: what it takes to beat the squirrel babies

Jedi Squirrels unite! 

Fame. Glory. Sex. Money. You want it all. You want it now.

And you want to get it by blogging.

I hear you, baby. I know how you feel. I’m one of you.

I’m about to give you some bad news

The Fame? That comes fast, as long as you define “fame” as “slightly known, in that they can kindasorta recognize my header but have no idea what I look like way, to people who already read blogs.” This is a smaller group than you currently imagine, and even your late-night entreaties of the retired longshoremen on the rail at your local watering hole are not likely to change it on a measurable scale.

If you want to be famous to politicians’ research staffers, WoW-playing slackers, or sysadmins, however, you’ve got it made.

The Glory? See above, plus your mother will be proud of you once you spend three consecutive holidays explaining to her what blogging is and showing her how to put YOUR blog in HER email signature. Unless you’re a porn blogger, and then we don’t want to know about your relationship with your mother.

The Sex? You mean with other people? What would I know about that? Ask the porn bloggers if you must.

The Money?Ah, the money. Now we come to it; you figured that if you stuck Adsense on your cat blog that you could just sit back and watch the millions roll in, didn’t you? You’ve taken a couple of overpriced SEO seminars and can’t understand why you aren’t able to quit your day job just yet.

In point of fact, there are three ways to earn six figures from blogging.

  1. Be Robert Scoble.
  2. The engtech method
  3. The Manolo method

Of these three, we at the ol’ raincoaster blog favour #3, for lo, we are in truth and in fact not Robert Scoble and yea verily we can hardly understand what engtech says half the time (and could only get a six-figure job if you left out the decimal entirely), so that leaves only one option.

Fortunately, the Magnanimous Manolo has laid out a simple yet superfantastic planenabling you to scale the heights of the six-figure-blogo-strato-sphere. Or, as he puts it, “to beat the squirrel babies.”

You may think, Mr. Arturo G. Bloggerman, that your grand mission is to enlighten the unwashed masses, to whom you declaim the unpleasant truth from your exalted perch at declaimingloudly.blogspot.com. But in the point of fact, if the unwashed masses do not find your loud declamations entertaining they will quickly move down the street to the Cuteoverload to look at the pictures of the squirrel babies.

So, what must you do to compete with the squirrel babies?

Read the rest of the articleto learn the superfantastic surefire secret to six-figure success!
(sorry, been reading a lot of marketing faff lately)

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the Nietzsche Family Circus

In the fine tradition of FC mashups first noted on the raincoaster blog here, we present these brilliant and inspiring quotations from Frederick Nietzsche. By Losanjealous via the Generator Blog.

Nietzsche family circus

All truth is simple… is that not doubly a lie?

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air sex: the video

Like air guitar, but with sex.

Yes, this is safe for work but not for dignity. Watch and enjoy…or go fetal with sympathetic embarassment, as these all-too-obvious virgins compete for the glory (?) of being named Best Air Sexer. Surely here is captured the Zeta Male‘s finest moment; my particular favorite is the one who mimes turning the pages.

From Japanorama, via Japan Probe.

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quiz: which They Might Be Giants album are you

  Which They Might Be Giants Album Are You?  

You are John Henry. The world’s restrictions and formalities leave you angry, so you spend most of your time either thinking on your own or talking with your close, longtime friends.
Take this quiz!

Quizilla |
Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Hmm, not this one? How disappointing.

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tardis blueprints

This should look cute in your front garden 

Well, not so much “tardis” as “Metropolitan Police Box” but it is naturally beneath the dignity of the ol’ raincoaster blog to include “box” in a headline, bien sur and yew betcha.

From Sherrod Drawings, via Neatorama, here are the actual archictectural plans for the once-common, now consigned to sci-fi police box.

The first Police Boxes were introduced from America in 1888. The earliest Police Box resembling Drawing G/A1 was erected in Newcastle in 1929. Originally built of wood, the design had changed to reinforced concrete, weighing in around two & one-half tons…This set of plans will make a great present for those Dr Who Fans, or anyone interested in Architectural antiquities…

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