Brian Atene is here, with a special Christmas message for Love Bug fans, deceased Hollywood figures, and your whole family.
Category Archives: Holiday
A Very, VERY Walken Christmas
Christopher Walken and his mother would like to deliver a few choice words to their fans this Yuletide season. Indeed, it can hardly be said to be Christmastime around the ol’ raincoaster blog without the scheduled appearance of the seasonal videos of both Mother Walken and Brian Atene as General Ursus of Beneath the Planet of the Apes.
We are not sure what your holiday traditions may include, but we hope to persuade you to welcome these new classics of the intertubes both now and in the future.
Some poetry from Mother Walken:
An excerpt of poetry from Christopher Walken:
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even this mouse.
For I bit off its head, and shaved off its hair,
Stuck it in Timmy’s stocking, hung from the chimney with care.
Not a creature was stirring, not even this mouse.
For I bit off its head, and shaved off its hair,
Stuck it in Timmy’s stocking, hung from the chimney with care.
The children asleep, waiting for Santa to come,
While visions of sugar…wait…what the fuck is a sugar plum?
Grandma in her ‘kerchief, Grandpa in his cap,
Had just settled down, for a long winter’s nap.
While visions of sugar…wait…what the fuck is a sugar plum?
Grandma in her ‘kerchief, Grandpa in his cap,
Had just settled down, for a long winter’s nap.
To say “just settled in” is a bit of a mistake,
Twelve years in those chairs, they won’t soon awake.
I think they’re fun, you can move them about,
I had just put Grandpa’s cold fist in his mouth…”
Twelve years in those chairs, they won’t soon awake.
I think they’re fun, you can move them about,
I had just put Grandpa’s cold fist in his mouth…”
Surely you’ll want to read the whole thing.
I. Said. Read it.
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Dear Santa
Is this not how it’s supposed to work? Uh-oh.
Stolen from Ruth Franco at GoodTimes
Update: Yes, Virginia, Santa has a blog.
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It’s a Wonderful Lohan
My celebrity gossip blogging is catching up to me. I spend so much time reading about Lindsay Lohan‘s latest twelve-stepping breakthrough than I do reading about flaming Swedish assholes or Great Cthulhu. This, obviously, will not do.
But sometimes I do find something of moderate to severe amusement, and such is the following. For those of you who haven’t been reading People at the checkout line, Lindsay Lohan is probably the most talented of the Trainwreck Starlet Cavalcade currently lumbering through Hollywood, and probably the one with the most problems, except of course for Ms. Spears, who is in a class by herself (in so many ways). Lohan‘s father has been in and out of prison for at least a decade for a stunning variety of offences, and her mother is a notorious party cougar. Her sister is being moulded into the next sexpot, despite being 14 years old. And the boys? They’re not so pretty or potentially lucrative, so nobody cares about them.
And then there’s Perez.
Perez Hilton, the world’s most popular blogger (or, to be more specific, the author of the world’s most popular blog; everyone loves to hate Perez) was censored by YouTube yesterday, losing two of his accounts over claims he posted footage of Liza Minelli to which he did not have permission of the copyright holder. This claim appears not to be true, and his account has been reinstated, but he is, quite naturally, rather burnt about the whole experience and not thrilled with YouTube. He therefore went ahead and used a different format for his latest video about the troubled Lohan clan, a format which WP.com forbids us to use here on the ol’ raincoaster blog, but for which we have found a workaround.
We found it on YouTube.
(‘twould be amusing if he asserted copyright and got it deleted, eh?)
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Shopping for Christmas
For some people, it’s a huge responsibility!
raincoaster 