Category Archives: Holiday

Dear Santa:

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Julian Assange waits patiently for me

Julian Assange waits patiently for me, but why isn't he nekkid?

 

 

Just a late note, in case the Post Office is still delivering. I posted it on Gawker days ago, but I don’t think he reads that rag.

Is it TOO MUCH TO ASK, Universe, to wake up on Christmas morning to find Julian Assange and Laird Hamilton under the tree, naked, tied together with leather straps, and very happy to see me?

I mean, fuck. Is it TOO MUCH TO ASK?

#crosstalk

@raincoaster: hell, I’m in. I’d like colin firth and matthew goode, please

#crosstalk

@bellinibubbles: Let’s make this a meme.

#crosstalk

@raincoaster: I wouldn’t want to mess with Gabrielle Reece’s man. She looks fierce.

#crosstalk

@Salome Valentine: I KNOW! Besides, I love her and their baby is adorable. But he’s gorgeous.

#crosstalk

@LatestBy: You’re telling me. I have two, actually: blond hunks and arrogant geniuses. Steve Jobs is in the latter category.

#crosstalk

@raincoaster: Have you ever seen this episode ofIconoclasts? It’s my favorite (Eddie Vedder & Laird Hamilton).

#crosstalk

@Salome Valentine: Oh, sigh. Christmas has come early!

He’s so much like a blond Henry Rollins, only without the aggro and about 30IQ points. Sigh.

#crosstalk

InCOMING!

INCOMING!

Quiz: What Reindeer Are You?

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Yep, another startlingly accurate internet quiz. These things are starting to scare me, actually.


You Are Comet


A total daredevil, you’re the reindeer with an edge! 

Why You’re Naughty: You almost gave Santa a heart attack when you took him sky diving

Why You’re Nice: You always make sure the sleigh is going warp speed

Jesus Has Two Daddies!

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Jesus does indeed have two daddies, and he turned out okay

Jesus does indeed have two daddies, and he turned out okay

It’s TRUE! Jesus has two daddies: and a camel-load of cute, in this adorbz video by adorbz Kiwi toddlers, who re-enact the Christmas story with some snazzy costumes, Oscar-quality performances, and the irresistible power of Teh Kyoot.

Christmas Carols with GWAR!

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Merry Christmas from GWAR. I SAID MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU ASSHOLES!!!

Merry Christmas from GWAR. I SAID MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU ASSHOLES!!! YOU THINK I WEAR THIS SANTA HAT FOR MY HEALTH???

I mean, you can KEEP your fucking Scrooge, bitches (even the Bill Murray and Alastair Sim ones), if there’s one entity I’d like to be serenaded by on Christmas Day, it would be the multifarious organism known to terrestrials as GWAR. So here is video through which we can all live vicariously, as GWAR descends upon an unsuspecting suburban neighborhood, successively terrorizing a harmless family, an inflatable Santa, a grandmotherly type, and a soccer mom.

Everybody hates those fucking inflatables. Smug bastards, they are.

Watch. Watch and experience the unique joy of the holiday season as GWAR brings their very special brand of awesome to the celebration of the birth of the Christ Child.

Strangely, it seems even GWAR has self-esteem issues! From the video (just after the buzzsaw attack solo):

“How’d we do?”

“You were awesome!”

“Better than crappy?”

“A LOT better than crappy!”

Yes, Soccer Mom. Yes, they are.

Merry Cthulhumas from the Vancouver Aquarium

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I’m slowly getting back to a regular posting schedule, and you know what that means: TENTACLES! So here are some suitably decked denizens of the deep to put you in the holiday spirit.