Where's Waldo's Job?
Oh Waldo! You’re such an adorable, accessible, Zeitgeist-defining dude. Tall and gangly in your cute watch cap and your dorky prison shirt, how is it you pass unnoticed (and un-reported-to-police) among us? Waldo, you are our Zelig, the physical embodiment of the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. Only in 2012, you’ve got lots and lots of company.
Old fashioned romance has all the charm of old fashioned divorce laws
I’ve always figured that basically this is how internet dating works, too. Or at least it does in my experience.
penis dog iz penisy
Technically, “penile” is the word, but one can’t expect Google to be hip to that. And this post, unsurprisingly, is all about Teh Googlez.
We have previously blogged Penis Puppy.
Penis Puppy will grow into Penis Dog
What can I say? I was teaching at a conference, and they say you should always include pictures of cats to ensure your presentation goes over well. Well, I’m no more a cat person than I am a Chihuahua person, so I said FUCK THAT SHIT and went with Penis Puppy. I think that aught to wipe the floor with any kittens extant. And after the presentation, a participant tweeted me a picture of Penis Dog, so I think my path to Google hegemony is well underway.
If they wanted us to be truly happy, wouldn’t it be OUR day instead of this Valendude’s? Think about it.
Just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean it’s NOT a conspiracy.
The Stormtrooper of Love
Not sure what to get That Special Someone on This Special Day? If he’s anything like this guy, I recommend the newly-released Kalashnikov 5. Yes, that’s right: they released the newest AK-47 just in time for Valentine’s Day. How thoughtful of them.
As for me, well, is there any question what I want? And I didn’t get it for Christmas, either.
They simply flock to him
mummified cottingley fairy is mummified, akshuly
This time not in Devonshire; this time, it’s a Yorkshire fairy, eeeeh bee goom.
Well, strike me mum! Here’s yet more proof (if any were in fact required, and we are ALL ABOUT PROOF around these parts, as you know) that dead fairies are real. Or. Well. WERE real and are now post-real and in fact mummified, if not petrified, and who knew they had stagefright in the first place, eh?
Answer me that!
Yes, today via Propnomicon comes word that back in the dark days of January another former fairy has come to light from the collection of a prominent also-formerly-alive American archaeologist. Here is the update, via the El Dodo Albino news organization:
Octavius Zedock was a prominent cryptozoologist belonging to the Theosophical Society in New York who dedicated his life to the study of creatures whose existence has been denied by science for years.
His research was extensive and in his lifetime collected a large number of specimens not officially classified, and that for years have been kept by the Company. Today, the silence was broken and the specimens come to light for the first time … is time to learn, it’s time to discover the truth behind the myths.
The specimen collected in the city of Cottingley , England in the 20’s, shows the reality of the existence of fairies. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was right, there was something magical in the forests of that place…
There is more, but I can’t read Spanish anymore than I can read Elvish (somewhat less, thanks to a miss-spent youth, actually) so you’ll have to Babelfish it yourselves.
The emergence of this long-lost mummy raises interesting questions about the cultural heritage of the UK, particularly in the age of the EU. Can the country prevent its fairies from slipping away to foreign shores in the company of shifty Yanks in khakis? Only time, at about ₤300 an hour, can tell.
This forms the latest in our ongoing scientific investigation of the very real, and very hushed-up, phenomenon of dead fairies. If you have or are a dead fairy, or even a live one, you are encouraged to contact the editor of this blog via the comments section here or on the original Mummified Fairy post, where you will have lots of company. About 2200 iterations of company, in fact.
raincoaster 