This England??? For all those who love England’s green-faced, unpleasant, bland…

 Kate Moss...it was so long agoIt seems so long ago that legendary beauties Kate Moss and Sophie Dahl were discovered in England; things are apparently very different now.

Ladies and gentlemen, stop what you’re doing. While we have all been going mindlessly about our daily business, perhaps dropping a dime into a beggar’s cap, writing a cheque for Darfur, protesting the Iraq invasion, or tithing to Greenpeace, a silent crisis has been brewing in the United Kingdom.

Your dollars, your rubles, your rupiahs: they will not solve this terrible problem. Indeed, they seem to have pounds galore, more than they know how to spend properly: this commodity is more precious. Money cannot solve this. There is only one thing that can.

Beaver.

Gentle readers, click upon the link I shall give you, and as you do so, realize that in the land that gave the world the Spice Girls, this is what currently rents for £640 an hour. Keep the eyewash handy, people.

Book your flights now: do your part for England. Or at least, share your parts with England.

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Dr Who vs the Disco Daleks

What’s that coming over the hill? Is it a drag queen? Is it a drag queen?

Why, yes. Apparently it is. Or the next-best thing, a Disco Dalek with a Barbie handbag. Extra credit for making the Cybermen do the Robot.

Funny, I don’t remember that episode.

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sumo-screamin’ smackdown!

If you’ve ever made pathetic “he’s got a good set of lungs!” excuses for your unstoppably-squalling infant, you’ll enjoy this: Japanprobe reports on the annual Baby-Cry Sumo Contest.

Too late to enter for this year, but should you be currently pregnant and your gene pool blessed with good lungs and bad tempers, you might want to put the fetoid down for next year’s contest.

Sumo Screamin' Babies!

OMFG, that guy’s legpit has a double chin. What do you have to do to get the grownups to put some pants on?

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I don’t see what’s so funny

I'm blogging this, bytches

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what really happened down there?

squid vs yellow submarine, guess who wins? 

It was the Sixties; nobody was straight enough to really keep track. Still, it was a horrible shock when I found out what had actually happened to the Beatles‘ famed Yellow Submarine.

In a Summer of Love polychromatic perverse update of HP Lovecraft’s The Call of Cthulhu, the hapless yet peaceable vessel and flagship of the Flower Child Armada was seized by the forces of our recrudescent Cthulhu cult and is even now being “repurposed” for who knows what unnameable role in the coming ApoCthalypse! Checking out that last link, I think we can all understand what happened to the crew…poor sods.

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