Category Archives: Humour

smells like ass

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Jenny the donkeyDidja ever have one of those days…

those days where nothing seems to go right,

those days where you just can’t catch a break, 

those days where you’re a donkey and you fall into a septic tank, and bloggers all over the world make fun of you?

The entire rescue was caught on tape by a photographer at NBC affiliate WOAI…

The donkey, named Jenny, fell into the septic tank at Jesse Salcedo‘s property, and it took firefighters nearly two hours to get her to safety.

“She probably just fell in there by accident or just flipped the lid over or something,” owner Jesse Salcedo said.

Sandy Oaks and Somerset fire departments were called in for the rescue. Edward Dugosh was one of their shortest and smallest firefighters on the scene. He was sent in the septic tank.

“(It’s a) nasty hole, smells horrible,” Dugosh said. “It’s just the worst environment imaginable.”

The donkey’s condition is reportedly …

stable.

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yoga @ home, the comic book

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It’s random out there. It’s dark, and it’s stormy. And it’s a little weird, especially when it gets earnest.

Sometimes one simply stumbles across a random tentacle twitchingly thrust out by the internets and one knows, without a shadow of a doubt, that this is the blog-filler for which one has been searching.

Ladies, gentlemen, and the undecided:

Yoga at Home

Uh, what are you doing down there, son? 

Handy-dandy tips in Desi comic book form for integrating old-skool yoga into one’s daily life: everything from how to rinse out your sinuses by snorting hot, salty water, to how to maintain order and protect your karma on the playground. You and your clot-ridden sinuses will wonder how you ever lived without it. Praise and flexibility be unto the Yoga Institute of Santa Cruz, Mumbai.

Until the beginning of this century there was an impression that yoga was meant only for yogis and not for householders. Shri Yogendraji, the founder of the Yoga Institute, himself a householder yogi, exploded this myth and trained thousands of men and women in the practice of Yoga.

As this century is stepping into its twilight years there is a growing awareness that the family is the bedrock of personal growth. Members of a family, be they parents or children draw inspiration, strength and faith from the family as a whole. Yoga at Home will help to have light perception and strength family bonds.

Also available in Gujarati.

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mercury spill found: Voldemort sought for questioning

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Killingly, you say? 

Has the bodiless villain of the Harry Potter novels crossed the Atlantic to spread death and horror on fresh turf? Could unicorns all over North America soon fear for their innocent lives? And, more importantly:

Does this mean that sexy bitch Alan Rickman is around here somewhere?

This chilling report from the aptly-named Killingly, Connecticut would lead one to believe so…

A “significant amount” of mercury from an unknown source was discovered on Putnam Road Saturday, causing an undetermined amount of soil contamination, according to the state Department of Environmental Protection.
While state environmental officials declined to discuss the possible threat to public health, mercury is a highly toxic substance known to cause a variety of health problems, such as nervous and immune system damage.

“The fact that someone could be so callous as to discard this type of material so near the Five Mile River is outrageous,” said Terry Chambers, who lives close to the contamination site and first reported the mercury. “An event like this could have environmental repercussions for the next 100 years.”

If not longer…

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sounds like a plan

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like animal farm, but with fluorescents

Hey, it always worked for me. From the relatively insane Rum & Monkey, we present:

20 Indicators that Weeping at Work
May Be a Viable Plan Going Forward

Chair has become one with Nestene consciousness and keeps trying to nibble on bum.

Utopian vision for global democracy dashed by gel-haired colleague’s Daily Mail worldview.

Zombie army escaped again and appears to want IT support.

Oh noes, someone took two donuts.

Microsoft Office has become otherworldly sentient intelligence and still just wants to know if you’re writing a letter.

and so on…ah, the year I put in at the cubicle farm. Good times, good times. Okay, I confess: it was me who freed the zombie army and gave them your pager number.

So we know who I am: the question now becomes, who are you? Take the Office Moron quiz!

Which Office Moron Are You?

I'm great. Like gold.

Which Office Moron Are You?
Rum and Monkey: jamming your photocopier one tray at a time.
Congratulations, fool! You’re the incompetent egotist.

Every office has one. You stride in on your first day with no useful skills, an inane smile on your face, and plans for a variety of team-building exercises, meetings, extra-curricular activities and staff days out, all designed to win you favour with the boss.

The problem is, everyone else hates you. You’re loud, you’re arrogant, you’re dumber than management, and you insist on wearing really loud shirts to make yourself seem interesting. Even the IT manager is more socially aware – and the depressing thing is, you’ll probably run the company in ten years.

If you don’t get a pickaxe through your head first.

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a resource for the ages

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Sister Mary MartiniThe internet is alive with resources; indeed, it is riddled with them. It’s positively writhing with ripe and ready resources.

Now, we don’t know how you live your life, but if you’re anything like we are, you look upon most of these resources as, quite frankly, irrelevant crap. Amazon? Don’t you need money for that? Paypal? You need a credit card for that. Travelocity? Ah, to own a passport…what’s that like?

But at last, the internet has finally put out for us here at the ol’ raincoaster blog!

Buy Your Friend a Drink.com via Will Work for Food, who deserves a drink, him/herself.

The concept is you can literally buy your friend a drink via their website, which then sends a text message to your friend telling them they have X number of dollars to spend at a certain bar. Your friend then flashes their phone to the bartender who enters the code that was sent to you, and that’s it. Free drink.

I guess next you’ll be able to take your friend to lunch without actually being there.

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