Category Archives: Humour

Happy May Day!

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We the People. Hey, who you calling WE, white man?

We the People. Hey, who you calling WE, white man?

Happy May Day, workers of the world! Enjoy your paid day off, no doubt spent among your fellow labourers, reveling in your special day. Did the head of the local Chamber of Commerce bring you breakfast in bed, or is that just here in Canuckistan? Did you remember to swing by the town square for the big Kick A Newly Homeless Wall Streeter party and bbq? And pick up your share of TARP dollars (application form here)? Remember, today only that cardboard box or ’78 Dodge van you’ve been living in may be redeemed for a 1 bedroom plus den Yaletown condo.  Also today only, Urban Fare accepts those food cheques that The Ministry issues, as do C, the chocolate buffet at the Sutton Place Hotel, and Tojo’s sushi.

Fucking Capitalism: how does it work? Here’s a handy-dandy diagram that clears it all up.

Capitalism layer cake

Capitalism layer cake

Starwhackers, the Liveblog

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Randy and Evi Quaid Mugshots

Randy and Evi Quaid Mugshots

Yes, I was at the world premiere of Randy and Evi Quaid‘s billed-as-docudrama-but-actually-comedy, “Starwhackers.” And it was…um…it was…unforgettable? Bizarre? Amateurish? Uninformative? Maddening?

Yeah, that.

So here is the transcribed-from-my-notes liveblog, several days after the fact. Protip: take a Gravol before watching this thing, it appears to have been shot on iPhones held by a caffeine junkie.

I will assume you’re familiar with the background: that the Quaids fled the US claiming they were being persecuted by so-called starwhackers, who kill important stars for the insurance money and also to keep the internet fed with drama (guys, trust me, the internet doesn’t need a new source of drama). The audience was palpably hoping that this film would explain the idea a bit better, but this movie is anything but linear and logical. There were no answers here. There weren’t even any coherent questions.

Click over the jump for the whole fiasco:

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Does anyone have a decoder ring handy?

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Notes from Buenos Aires from our old blog buddy John Cusack

Notes from Buenos Aires from our old blog buddy John Cusack

John Cusack, you’re a nut. I love you. Never change. But in future, could you provide Cusack to English translations of your notes? Thanks, signed, a grateful planet.

Besides. everyone knows pigs can fly, but they need to be in a proper kennel and stored under the seat in front of you. Duh.

Now that we’ve got that cleared up, here are the celebrity gossip links for today.

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Meme vs Meme

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I love both of these memes, but I just can’t make up my mind which I like more. Or which I identify with more. Help me decide: is it to be Courage Wolf or Sexually Oblivious Rhino which becomes the mascot of the ol’ raincoaster blog?

Courage Wolf shits bigger than you

Courage Wolf shits bigger than you

OR

Sexually Oblivious Rhino doesn't know what you mean by that

Sexually Oblivious Rhino doesn't know what you mean by that

What say you all?

Saturday Night, and the House is Rocking!

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The girl singer experiment was not deemed a success, and was not repeated

The Bay City Rollers decided the girl singer experiment was not a success, and was not repeated

Or is that “The Home”?

You may not think you want to click that, but you really, really do, and then you want to look at the audience. When did the Bay City Rollers ever play Victoria, the burb known as “God’s Waiting Room”?

This Bay City Rollers fan was the inspiration for "Pretty Woman." Bach's "Pretty Woman."

This Bay City Rollers fan was the inspiration for "Pretty Woman." Bachs "Pretty Woman."

Also, Ann-Margret, you’re darling, but you cannot sing. Please, please stop trying.

Bay City Rollers are rocking the rocker look insofar as it applies to the Scots anyway

Bay City Rollers are rocking the rocker look insofar as it applies to the Scots anyway

Also also, isn’t it time the hipsters revived the plaid-trimmed culottes look? Seriously, let’s make this happen.

To other people.

Speaking of celebrities and other people, here are your Monday gossip links from around the web. Click over the jump for all the juicy linkness.

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