NSFW website o’ the day: Les Nouveaux Yeux de Googly Sur Le Coq

Googlycock 

From the Infomaniac comes news of this marvelously amusing little website, great for whiling away the hours until your next blood sacrifice or furry convention. Whether browsing the forums or modelling for your own glamour shots, there are hours of amusement here for the whole quality-entertainment-starved family. Continuing our Muppetythemed week, we present what must surely be the Website o’ the Month if not the Year at the ol’ raincoaster blog, Googly Eyes On Cock.

With bonus Nyarlathotep cock.

Monstro escapes, terrorizes Eastern seaboard

The world is your lobster 

Yep, I wouldn’t wanna be a Massachusetts mussel with this insatiable leviathan prowling around out there.

Monstro the monstrous lobster has been set free to slake his bloodlust once again on the unsuspecting bivalves of the Atlantic coast. After holding the rapacious crustacean thirty days in captivity, his captors bowed to pressure from special interest groups and released him, to prowl the sea bottom once again. Truly the End Times are upon us; note the name of his temporary resting place: quaintly charming, or sinisterly forboding?

The giant lobster caught 100 miles off the Massachusetts coast spent last month in the lobster tank at Angelica’s Restaurant in Bethlehem. He recently was returned to the water, just off the southern tip of West Island, five miles from New Bedford, Mass.

Fred Cunha, the restaurant owner, bought the 37-inch Monstro with his 15-inch-long claws from a New Bedford fishing boat in mid-October. Cunha estimates Monstro is 50 years old…

After persistent lobbying from diners and his 7-year-old daughter Angelica, Cunha decided to raffle off Monstro, with the winner deciding whether to send him to the ocean or the cooking pot.

So Monstro lounged in the restaurant’s tank with Mr. Crabby, Angelica‘s pet 2-pound lobster, feasting on minced crab and scallops…

Until

moonbat conspiracist on Al Jazeera: The Nobel Prize Is Racist and Stems from the Protocols of the Elders of Zion

Paranoia will destroy yaIf Al Jazeera‘s going to be interviewing these cryptopaths on a regular basis, I may have to get cable; this interview (from Halloween, no less) is historic in its moonbatty loop-tasticy.

Following are excerpts from an interview with Samir ‘Ubeid, an Iraqi researcher living in Europe, which aired on Al-Jazeera TV on October 31, 2006:

Samir ‘Ubeid: I don’t call it the Nobel prize – I call it the “Hubal” [idol] prize.

Interviewer: Hubal?

Samir ‘Ubeid: Yes, because it often encourages heresy. It encourages attacks against the heritage, and encourages those who scorn their people and their culture…

Interviewer: In other words, if you are a traitor to your country, you deserve this prize.

Samir ‘Ubeid: If you are a traitor to your country, and a heretic, who curses his Prophet, you deserve a Nobel Prize…

Mother Teresa was brought, along with a group of people like her…

Interviewer: Some say the prize was awarded to her for her missionary activity in Africa, India, and so on…

Samir ‘Ubeid: Let’s assume she was righteous, according to the logic of the media, which is now controlled by the Jews and Hollywood. When they awarded the prize to Teresa, they were trying to award an “artificial hymen” or “artificial honor” to this prize. My colleague said that there is democracy. What democracy is there, if out of 1.5 billion Chinese, only two or three were awarded the Nobel? If you examine the Russian scientists and writers, who shook the world with their literature and their knowledge… What about Sakharov, what about Tolstoy? In addition…

Interviewer: But Sakharov was awarded the Nobel prize.

Samir ‘Ubeid: I meant Chekhov. Chekhov! Chekhov!

Yep, some days, thinks the interviewer, it really is worth digging them out of the caves for an interview. Can’t you just picture him patiently steepling his fingers and straightening his notes as he tries hard not to burst into derisive laughter?

“For this,” he thinks, “I went to Oxford.”

Bart's not taking any chances

monsterpiece theatre: the 39 stairs

made by some guy named Alfred. And starring some guy named Grover. A moving cinematic exporation of the inherent futility of aspirationalism.

daylight reveals Downtown EastSide shock/horror!

Well, for some of us anyway.

It’s remarkable what you can get accomplished when:

  1. you wake up at 8am
  2. WordPress won’t let you post because of server issues

I found the paperwork the government required of me, straightened my living room (somewhat), recycled several large sacks of old newspapers and flyers, stopped by the Downtown EastSide Women’s Centre, read the Bad Date Sheet (I meant to swipe one to post on the blog; apparently some fat white 30-something is kidnapping and robbing hookers and dumping them in godforsaken Cloverdale several times a week; now that the news is out, all 300-pounder suburbanites can kiss their chances of a cheap BJ goodbye), swung by the Salty Tongue for a yummy sammich and my free (loyalty programs rule!) mocha, full-fat, damn the torpedos, filed my taxes, made it to the government office on time and got that out of the way smoothly, thanks to finally having found said paperwork, dropped the taxes off at the tax office, picked up my free facial mask at Lush (thanks to the goody bag at the Rare dinner), snagged a free kolachy from the Kolachy Shop, also due to goody bag at said Rare dinner, grabbed some veggies for dinner from Sunrise Market, and attempted to take a look at the new Costco in the hood, although I was turned back at the door, as apparently  you cannot browse in Costco unless you’re a member. I tell you, I have no problem getting into the Vancouver Club or Shine, but ain’t nobody getting past the door bitch at Costco without their little token of membership.

Yep, without question this was the most productive day I’ve had in a very long time.

Hella boring for the blog, though.