for medicinal purposes only

 Shake it up, baby now!

W.C. Fields claimed he only drank brandy as a cure for the bite of a venomous snake, which, he said, “I also keep handy.” But, as always, we must look to James Bond for true leadership, yea, even in the field of medical mixology.

Canadian researchers decided to see if martinis had anything to do with Bond’s apparent good health — remember he was Bond. James Bond.cleared for duty by a medical professional in The World Is Not Enough. The researchers’ objectives: “As Mr Bond is not afflicted by cataracts or cardiovascular disease, an investigation was conducted to determine whether the mode of preparing martinis has an influence on their antioxidant capacity.”

The experiment found that shaken martinis contain more antioxidants than the stirred variety, and antioxidants have been shown to help ward off cancer and other common killers like heart disease.

the Yellow Submarine

And unlike in Ogden Nash‘s famous poem, it is the vermouth.

There is something about a Martini,
A tingle remarkably pleasant;
A yellow, a mellow Martini;
I wish I had one at present.
There is something about a Martini,
Ere the dining and dancing begin,
And to tell you the truth,
It is not the vermouth
I think that perhaps it’s the gin.

Ogden Nash

September Shebeen Club: Making the Most of a Writers’ Conference

kc dyerFor immediate release: post/forward at will!

Who: The Shebeen Club presents kc dyer, author of the Eagle Glen Trilogy

What: Making the Most of a Writers’ Conference!

When: 7-10 pm Tuesday, September 19th, 2006
Meet & Mingle 7:00-8
Listen & Learn 8-8:30
Trililoquizing and behaving like Young Adults 8:30-10

Where: The Shebeen, behind the Irish Heather, 217 Carrall

Why: Because we’ve got the Word on the Street, Surrey International Writers’ Conference, Vancouver Writers’ and Readers’ Festival, and Jewish Book Festival all coming up in the next six weeks!

Because if there’s a writer in this hemisphere that knows how to get the most out of a conference, it is kc dyer. She works a lunch table full of strangers like nobody else!

It seems but yesterday she was a dewy-eyed newbie accepting the Special Achievement Award at the SIWC, and now she’s seized absolute control as next year’s coordinator. Since that distant day, she’s found time to run the SIWC’s (huge) annual writing competition as well as become an integral part of the North Vancouver literary community. Somehow, she’s also managed to complete her acclaimed Eagle Glen trilogy for young adults, develop teaching materials for the books, and begin a fourth novel. Her books are: SHADES OF RED, SECRET OF LIGHT & SEEDS OF TIME, all published by The Dundurn Group.

How (much)? $15 before September 16, $20 thereafter, includes your choice of bangers and mash or vegetarian pasta, plus a glass of beer or wine; networking over food is a key conference skill!

Reservations and media inquiries: lorraine.murphyatgmaildotcom

Bio: kc dyer (www.kcdyer.com) was born in Calgary, and after a peripatetic decade or two now lives with her children (and other animals) north of Vancouver, British Columbia, where she works as a freelance writer. kc is the author of a number of books for young adults that are published in North America and the UK. Having a secret fondness for inducing nausea in teens, she can often be found sharing some of the greatest grotesque moments in history with large groups of high school students. Unable to see the folly of her ways, she continues to write and most days can be found sitting at her desk, staring out the window and trying to think of the perfect word.

the ultimate blog posts

TIAThis is a clever strategy to promote your blog: tell anyone who will listen that you were a guest blogger on one of the most popular blogs, and given how pathetic the search boxes are on most of them, corroboration, if it existed, would be impossible to find anyway.

So Wired has done a handy-dandy list of the ultimate blog posts for each of the top blogs, sorta like that time I pitched the Province on the “single welfare foster mom of Aboriginal, dyslexic pit bull orphans wins lottery, gets impregnated by Brad Pitt, steals car from Surrey mall” story, and it shouldn’t be long now until she finally manifests and I can write the damn thing.

Ultimate blog post for raincoaster: Cthulhu rises from Rl’yeh, exposes Stephen Harper as an inhuman Fungi from Yuggoth and destroys him, all slavering right-wingers awake from their mind controlled walking comas, surviving Watergate Plumbers drop dead from the shock, worldwide communal anarchy is declared; the YouTube video (soundtrack by Nine Inch Nails, bonus appearance by the Monkees)

While blogging has only reached prominence in the last few years, it was actually invented by the ancient Romans who built a majestic blog in 200 BC from marble, granite and links they stole from the Greeks.

“Blog” itself is short for “weblog,” which is short for “we blog because we weren’t very popular in high school and we’re trying to gain respect and admiration without actually having to be around people.”

Creating your own blog is about as easy as creating your own urine, and you’re about as likely to find someone else interested in it…

blogdogs

Boing Boing: Crocheted replica of subway map cracks DRM on collection of old video games.

Kottke: Elwin Festerator is the unsung inventor of the curly telephone cord. “I looked at a straight telephone cord, and I asked myself, Elwin, why can’t that be curly? So I went out and got my brand-new curling gun, and I curled the hell out of it.” Related link: New Yorker article on the Olympic curling team.

Daily Kos: Bush caught in three-way with Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh.

Little Green Footballs: Bush enjoys triumphant three-way with Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh.

Gawker: Paris Hilton does pretty much anything.

Cute Overload: A kitten licks a puppy while the puppy licks a bunny.

Fleshbot: Same as Cute Overload, only with coeds.

MAKE blog: How to create a nuclear accelerator using a Flash drive, a Commodore 64 and a guy named Roger.

Metafilter: Unhelpful link text. Extra links added for padding that have little to do with the main topic of the entry. Are extremely loaded rhetorical questions the only thing that can save us now?

It’s a blog, Metafilterites. What do you think?

conclusive proof that there is no god

McSweeney's Internet Header Image

Dave Fucking Eggers is doing celebrity interviews.

Three decades after the Monty Python team made the silliest film ever, it’s been reborn as a hit musical. And it’s even got the killer rabbit! As Spamalot prepares to open in London, Eric Idle tells Dave Eggers why this was something he had to get right.

But why was it something Dave had to do at all?

all your newspapers are belong to us

 

Google rulez okay?

The Wall Street Journal interviews one FOI advocate who opposes Google‘s quest to put all newspapers going back to 1888 online. He’s doing that himself, as part of a project sponsored by Yahoo and Microsoft. Coincidence?

Google Inc. made news last week when it said it was launching a service that would allow users to search newspaper archives going back as far as the 18th century. Announcements like that are usually applauded as an advance for the spread of knowledge. But Brewster Kahle, a long-time Internet activist and founder of Internet Archive, had some reservations. We asked him why.

* * *

What’s not to like about Google making so much information freely available?

The opportunity for universal access to all public knowledge is one of the great opportunities of our times. And to the extent that companies are helping us get there, that’s terrific. Google is making great strides in this direction; the basic goal is terrific and their service is actually quite good.

The issue we have with what’s being built is that we are creating what is in effect a private library system. What we want, however, is a public library system, one where we can have many different points of view on the published literature of humankind. What we are actually building might end up being controlled by a single corporation. If this were some other industry — plastic or software — I wouldn’t be as worried about it. But we are taking about the cultural heritage, the intellectual heritage, of humans. And that’s too important to be left to one company.

In this we are in complete agreement. When companies have vested interests in controlling key components of the culture, that’s when a government solution is appropriate. Because a government, however venal and Machiavellian it may be, has a vested interest in the culture itself, and is responsive to the culture as a whole, whereas corporations are sensitive to (and vulnerable to) only the market, one tiny segment of the culture.

If only one such archive is to be built, why let it be in private hands? he asks. My response to that is another question: why not do this as a public project as well. Go ahead, duplicate the effort. Because as we learn on the Internet to our peril, things fall apart. And if the servers themselves don’t belong to you, there is nothing whatsoever you can do about it.

Wasteful? Not really; all those grad students are gonna hafta find co-ops or internships somewhere on the federal dime anyway. Any system administrator will tell you that redundancy can be a source of strength, and any savvy investor will tell you that competition improves quality.

Besides, what are you gonna do when China buys Google?

Choogle