Why Twitter Exists

Twitterfail

There is, among the non-Twitterati, a certain degree of pragmatic skepticism about how entertaining, how powerful, even how meaningful a communications device limited to 140 characters of text can be. While all the world knows that Twitter was intended to serve as a medium for communicating status updates (“Posting to Twitter.” “Posting to Twitter again.” “Here I am, back on Twitter, updating my status.”) digital sophisticates have long since bent the humble microblogging platform to their will.

Haiku. Affirmations. Contests. Flirtations. Ostentatiously-posted quotations from authors chosen more for their literary cachet than their intellectual merit, not that I’m thinking of anyone in particular (Byron, I’m looking at you).

And this, from baffled:

Six Word Story:

If I should die before I

Being and Somethingness

Three Witches by Fuseliand I quote:

No weird revelation is involved when someone sees a dime on the sidewalk, picks up the coin, and pockets it. Even if this is not an everyday occurrence for a given individual, it remains without any overtones or implications of the fateful, the extraordinary. But suppose this coin has some unusual feature that, upon investigation, makes it a token of considerable wealth. Suddenly a great change, or at least the potential for change, enters into someone’s life; suddenly the expected course of things threatens to veer off toward wholly unforeseen destinations.

It could seem that the coin might have been overlooked as it lay on the pavement, that its finder might easily have passed it by as others surely had done. But whoever had found this unusual object and discovers its significance soon realizes something: that he has been lured into a trap and is finding it difficult to imagine that things might have been different. The former prospects of life become distant and can now be seen to have been tentative in any case: what did he ever really know about the path his life was on before he came upon that coin? Obviously very little. But what does he know about such things now that they have taken a rather melodramatic turn? No more than he ever did, which becomes even more apparent when he eventually falls victim to a spectral numismatist who wants his rare coin returned. Then our finder-keeper comes into a terrible knowledge about the unknowable, the mysterious, the truly weird aspect of his existence – the extraordinary fact of the universe and of one’s being in it. Paradoxically, it is the uncommon event that may best demonstrate the common predicament.

Thomas Ligotti, in the Foreward to Noctuary

The Star Trek Plot Chart

Create your very own episode of Star Trek with this handy-dandy chart from io9 which makes explicit that which astute fans will have long suspected: that if there’s antique furniture around, you will dance for the ambiguously gay god’s amusement.

Also, the correct spelling of the “red alert sound.”

Star Trek Plot Chart

Star Trek Plot Chart

Chocolate Beaver Shot!

Chocolate beaver is available for sale right in broad daylight on Robson Street! It’s really quite brazen the way they pose in the window, hoping to entice some passerby in a moment of weakneses to give in to his baser instincts!

Chocolate Beaver

photo by April Smith, intrepid Fearless photographer

Peaches Geldof, world’s least-likely humourist

Peaches Geldof with man of the moment

“I have respect for broadsheet journalists because
they haven’t succumbed to degrading themselves, to
writing pidgin English with all these terrible
colloquialisms, the phrasing of which is just,
like, embarrassing”

Peaches Geldof

from Popbitch