Stacy Keach, Jedi Master Chef

Stacy Keach, Jedi Master Chef

Yes, Stacy Keach is a man of many talents. You may be familiar with him as an actor; you may have heard of his charity work; you may know him from his colourful personal history, but are you aware that this veritable Renaissance Man is also a qualified Jedi Master Chef?

Indeed, in the crowded ranks of celebrity Jedi Chef wannabes, only a rare few make it through to the revered rank of Jedi Master Chef. The years of training, the discipline necessary to wield a lightsaber or boning knife equally with not only a straight face, but a threatening one, the dogged pursuit of the scoundrel known as “Santa Clause”, and the ability to instantly recall the correct method for preparing non-weepy custard, are accomplishments beyond the ability of all but a rare, ascetic few.

Undertaking the way of the Jedi Chef is the choice of those remarkable individuals whose paths wind through tangled underbrush, dark valleys, and science fiction conventions.

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fan dumb

Sorry, Tuffy; the name is just too good not to steal – uh, recycle.

This story is stolen from the book I’m reading now: Starstruck: When a Fan Gets Close to Fame by Michael Joseph Gross who was, and is, a fan himself, so he aught to know.

On April Fool’s Day, 1934, when Ray Bradbury was thirteen years old, his family packed up and left Waukeegan, Illinois, for Hollywood, where his parents would search for work, and he would spend his free time outside studio lots with the packs of fans who collected autographs from movie stars. Remembering those days, he told me, “Of all of the people who did that sort of thing, I was the only one who had a dream of the future. I had a purpose for what I was doing. I was standing outside the wall of Paramount Studios when I was thirteen years old and I had a dream that I would jump over the wall and land inside and write a picture.”

About twenty years later, that dream came true. Walking down the red carpet with John Huston at the premiere of Moby Dick, Ray Bradbury was shocked to see, standing on the pavement, some of the autograph collectors he had known as a teenager. He left John Huston’s side and approached them, hoping they would recognize him. “I said, ‘I was that crazy boy who used to stand with you in front of Paramount.’ They said, ‘Oh yes, what are you doing now?’ And I suddenly got very embarrassed and didn’t want to tell them. There was this chasm that opened up between us, between what we had done together, what they were doing now, and what I was doing now. And I said, ‘I worked on the screenplay.’ And they said, ‘Did you type it? Were you in the stenographer’s department?’ And I said finally, ‘No, I wrote the screenplay.” And a strange thing happened at that moment. Suddenly their hands shot out, and there were half a dozen autograph books in front of me, and somebody handing me a pen. I crossed the border. I was not collecting autographs now. I was giving my first ones. It made me cry. I had made it over the wall. But none of those other people had made it over the wall.”

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Amy Winehouse: Love is a Losing Game live at the Mercury Awards

Yes, I know we’re all about the YouTubes lately, but watch this and listen and tell me how I could NOT put it up. It’s over mannered, it’s over-rehearsed, it’s overdone (and so is the hair, the makeup, and the reputation as a hellraiser) but it is, nonetheless, astonishing. Lyrics after the jump.

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Leave Chris Crocker ALONE! sez Seth Green

You remember the original, from YouTube celebutard Chris Crocker? Which was sparked by the trainwreck, from LA celebutard Britney Spears?

Here’s the penultimate, from the guy who played Little Scotty Evil in all those Austin Powers movies:

And the transcript, courtesy of the uploader

Leave Chris Crocker alone…leave him alone! He is just a human, he has ideas that he knows is important and opinions ppl should hear about other ppl. he-he loves his grandmother, and hes going thru a tough time.. that britney pool didnt build itself, he had to build tht himself, he put all those pictures up after buying and collecting them all. did u do that?! u didnt do that….. you cant talk about someone when ur not willing to do wat they do.. u hve not spent a mile walking in his sneakers, or platforms or pumps,or i dont know what he wears,but i bet its stylish… fuck u, u judgemental people…he is dealing with a lot right now, u dont know make fun of him, if u wanna make fun of him ur gonna have to go thru me…and i am tough to go thru cuz i am (idk what he said here,tangable?[ed note: yes, “Tangible”])..leave him alone. and watch robot chicken sunday nights at 11:30 at cartoon networks adult swim, season 2 dvd available right now. so buy it… and leave him alone… ugh!

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is this seat taken?

Ganesh on the train

How does it go again?

Choose First Class for luxury, Third Class for company.

It’s easy to see where Ganesh stands (sits) on the issue.

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