My god, another shockingly accurate internet quiz! The implications are terrifying; imagine our deepest secrets laid bare at the whim of anonymous, random Blogthings!
You Are Coffee Bubble Tea
You are a delightful contradiction. You’re always trying to have the best of both worlds!
You defy convention and expectations. You do things your way just because you can.You are energetic and unapologetically enthusiastic. You always have something to be hyper about.
You go nonstop until you crash. You’re pretty good at wearing yourself out.
The Cthuloid Cabazon Floyd; now it all makes so much sense!
Many warnings have we uttered. Many Cassandra-like cries have we cried to the oblivious masses. Not once, not twice, nay, not even thrice have we attempted to spread the truth about these malevolent, trembling mole-rats. We have shouted from the rooftops and twittered from the back alleys yea unto an thousandtimes, but have ye listened?
The Hell ye have.
we must strike back in the daytime, while they are trapped in purses around the globe
Let me give it to you straight, people: Chihuahuas are not simply evil, snappish, inbred yap machines, they are the spawn of the Great Old Ones themselves, come to Earth to subjugate mankind.
The woman dropped off 33 chihuahuas on Wednesday and nine more on Thursday morning. One of the chihuahuas gave birth to a puppy on Thursday, bringing the total to 43. All but six of the dogs are under the age of two…
and all but two of them needed spaying/neutering, and, in true Cthulhuonic fashion, they were deeply inbred, with all the revolting mental and physical deformities that go with that unspeakable aberration. But, right, I already TOLD you they were Chihuahuas. What’s most alarming is the number of commenters to whom the same descriptors can be applied.
You rarely see Rottweiler people getting pissy about people who don’t like Rotties. When was the last time you saw some undersexed, overmedicated chainsmoker screaming at someone because that person said their Labrador was “not a dog” eh? EH? The Labrador, you see, is a dog, as is the Rottie. As are the mutts at the pound, and the surly curs of Cairo back alleys, but as are not the tiny, fanged demons known as Cthihuahuas. They have obviously infiltrated the minds of the unwary, or the weak, and seized control
Long have we known, but been unable to prove to the doubters (a situation with which this far-ahead-of-its-time-and-incidentally-overhyphenated blog is all-too-familiar). Now, finally, from a remote Antipodean outpostnot terribly far from the last reported sighting of The Great Cthulhu comes photo proof:
I mean, my old VHS tapes don’t mean anything to me, but they obviously must to somebody, if only the guys who lost out at Betamax. Seriously, this is the world’s greatest idea since my Meth Heads Cleaning Service idea: I get my old trash removed and somebody somewhere gets a wish out of the deal.
You are a big and bold person. You tell it like it is.
Your emotions get the best of you, and you have no trouble saying how you feel.Self-expression is important to you. You have to be yourself no matter what.
Your days have a lot of ups and downs, but you wouldn’t change them for the world.
With an intro like that, what can this fabulous, magical Unicorn Chaser possibly be? Well, when looking for a unicorn chaser there are few key elements any savvy consumer should check for:
music, particularly poppy, vaguely druggy Sixties music
velour. Lots and lots of velour. Bell bottoms and pukka shell necklaces if you got ’em. Flower headbands are bonus points, particularly on the guys. What? I’M SERIOUS!
Consequently, when I ran across the following on YouTube, I knew I had to have it. Not only are the Monkees themselves absolutely made all of the things above except possibly unicorns (I’ve never placed them in a pentagram and spoken the Words of Command, so I just don’t know) but this video is a satire, one of the Literal Video versions in which the subtitles and redubbed vocals (hey, that’s a pretty good Davy, but the chorus can’t carry a tune in a lolrus bukkit) simply narrate what is actually going on in the video. The greatest of these, of course, is the Bonnie Tyler “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” itself a high water mark of musical geniositosnouss. While this much simpler video does not reach those heights, depths, or whatevers, it’s still fun and cute and hey, I still dance better than Davy ever did, so GO ME, right?
raincoaster 