Old-Fashioned Romance: the problem therewith

Old fashioned romance has all the charm of old fashioned divorce laws

Old fashioned romance has all the charm of old fashioned divorce laws

I’ve always figured that basically this is how internet dating works, too. Or at least it does in my experience.

But seriously, how was YOUR Valentine’s Day?

It was better than this guy’s.

Someone stood up a guy who BRINGS FLOWERS??? Get me that man's number immediately!

Someone stood up a guy who BRINGS FLOWERS??? Get me that man's number immediately!

Honestly, woman, are you INSANE? You find the last man on Earth who actually brings flowers on a date and you stand him up????

Internet, get me this man’s contact details immediately!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand CUT!

Viggo Peaces Out

Viggo Peaces Out

Strangest direction to an actor ever?

You’re not walking like a Jew, Viggo.

Let’s review:

Well, my first choice for Jew Demonstrating Jewish Walking is a washout, alas, but it did turn me on to one of the greatest websites of all time: JewOrNotJew!

For reference, this walk is virtually part Jewish almost most of the time.

This one is a safe fallback:

Note red carpet, velvet ropes, and soundtrack. Hmmm, is Kanye Jewish too?

Oh, and in reference to the title, if you want to know if Viggo‘s circumsized, you can get The Indian Runner, which has several seconds of full-frontal Viggo. Some frames of which have been moderately photoshopped.

Viggo with muppets

Viggo with muppets by Michaelangelo okay not really.

Attention World!

Old Spice Guy is Canucks Fan

Old Spice Guy is Canucks Fan

Actual proof the Old Spice Guy is, in fact, perfect: He’s a Canucks fan.

No, LOOK at them.

No, LOOK at them.

Yep, pretty much perfect.

Click over the jump for some less perfect celebrities.

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Ratinox revealed!

Julian Assange plays strip scrabble with raincoaster. We ALL win!

Julian Assange plays strip scrabble with raincoaster. We ALL win!

Wouldn’t you like to see the secret stash of deliciousness from The Artist Formerly Known as HarryHarrison (at least to users of nerdlink filing-cabinet sites and OK Cupid; think of delicious as Tumblr but for nerds, not hipsters)?

Yes, of COURSE you would, you sick perv, you.

Behold, the collected bookmarks of Julian Assange:

And so on. At least he lost interest and got busy with Wikileaks before adding the obligatory “I’m in my late 30’s and still want to pull hipster chicks” nod to Arcade Fire.

Still, Arcade Fire DID do this:

for which the fact they are an ageing hipster’s favorite band is forgiven, because this particular iteration of this particular song is the great protest anthem of our time. We’re not as raw as The Clash, but our riots aren’t just Quiet: they’re silent, but for the clicking of keys on an iMac. Vaguely apologetic but inexorable, conscious of the past and very much aware of this moment in history, twee, precious, metrosexual but somehow effective nonetheless; yup, this is us, right here, right now. But where was I?

Oh yes, perving on Julian Assange, checking out four year old bookmarks, and introducing our celebrity gossip links for today.

Links: You just can’t get enough, you insatiable pervs!

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