Category Archives: Operation Global Media Domination

Just what it sounds like. My quest to conquer the global media and take over the world. Maybe I can get my library fines cancelled…what can I say? It’s a last-ditch effort.

Operation Global Media Domination: Nawked

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TIAThat’s not a strange Britishism; it’s the word for when Gawker uses not just one, but two of the YouTubes you posted in a single day without referencing you even indirectly. And no, it’s not carryover bitterness from the time I gave them Cold Desert’s Absolut ads and they didn’t gimme so much as a “via raincoaster.” No, I’m so over that! 

Perish the thought!

Well, at least Metafilter gave me the luv, which was worth a good 1200 hits in one day, and, bizarrely, Chubby Bunny seems to be going viral, days after the posting, leaving all mango porno-related posts in the compost heap. I guess there’s a lag time with marshmallows: who knew?

Other link-luvvers include CBS News (FFS!), Digg, WordPress.com, TotalFark, an awful lot of self-hating people who clicked through when I told the readers chez Guido to go fuck themselves, and VampireFreaks, which brings us to…

Kimveer Gill’s Blog continues to be popular with illiterate teenagers who hate everyone and only want to be left alone because they’re peaceful, loving people and who have come to my blog to threaten me for saying otherwise, although I hadn’t, but they wouldn’t know that because they, of course, don’t read the post or the comments. Occasional flashes of insight are posted in that thread by people who don’t know the saying about pearls before swine; the latest swine was someone pretending to be Anastasia deSousa’s brother. His IP is 24.236.230.153 if anyone is interested in taking it up with him.

Hits indicate that everyone is still interested in Beautiful Agony, Blackzilla, and watching Steve Irwin die. Except me. Oh, and some reaaaaaaaly longtailers are just catching on to Lucy Gao now.

BTW, I have five bucks riding on my whining getting me banned from Gawker. Time will tell; they won’t wake up for another ten hours.

the ultimate blog posts

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TIAThis is a clever strategy to promote your blog: tell anyone who will listen that you were a guest blogger on one of the most popular blogs, and given how pathetic the search boxes are on most of them, corroboration, if it existed, would be impossible to find anyway.

So Wired has done a handy-dandy list of the ultimate blog posts for each of the top blogs, sorta like that time I pitched the Province on the “single welfare foster mom of Aboriginal, dyslexic pit bull orphans wins lottery, gets impregnated by Brad Pitt, steals car from Surrey mall” story, and it shouldn’t be long now until she finally manifests and I can write the damn thing.

Ultimate blog post for raincoaster: Cthulhu rises from Rl’yeh, exposes Stephen Harper as an inhuman Fungi from Yuggoth and destroys him, all slavering right-wingers awake from their mind controlled walking comas, surviving Watergate Plumbers drop dead from the shock, worldwide communal anarchy is declared; the YouTube video (soundtrack by Nine Inch Nails, bonus appearance by the Monkees)

While blogging has only reached prominence in the last few years, it was actually invented by the ancient Romans who built a majestic blog in 200 BC from marble, granite and links they stole from the Greeks.

“Blog” itself is short for “weblog,” which is short for “we blog because we weren’t very popular in high school and we’re trying to gain respect and admiration without actually having to be around people.”

Creating your own blog is about as easy as creating your own urine, and you’re about as likely to find someone else interested in it…

blogdogs

Boing Boing: Crocheted replica of subway map cracks DRM on collection of old video games.

Kottke: Elwin Festerator is the unsung inventor of the curly telephone cord. “I looked at a straight telephone cord, and I asked myself, Elwin, why can’t that be curly? So I went out and got my brand-new curling gun, and I curled the hell out of it.” Related link: New Yorker article on the Olympic curling team.

Daily Kos: Bush caught in three-way with Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh.

Little Green Footballs: Bush enjoys triumphant three-way with Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh.

Gawker: Paris Hilton does pretty much anything.

Cute Overload: A kitten licks a puppy while the puppy licks a bunny.

Fleshbot: Same as Cute Overload, only with coeds.

MAKE blog: How to create a nuclear accelerator using a Flash drive, a Commodore 64 and a guy named Roger.

Metafilter: Unhelpful link text. Extra links added for padding that have little to do with the main topic of the entry. Are extremely loaded rhetorical questions the only thing that can save us now?

It’s a blog, Metafilterites. What do you think?

experiencing technical difficulties

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Serious technical difficulties. Bear with me; I am currently defragging my computer, a process which will, the computer informs me, take approximately 100 hours. Meanwhile nothing works properly.

WordPress Avatar Awards

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I nominate myself in the category of “Most Fascist Avatar.”

raincoaster’s avatar is, in a sense, not unique, yet in another sense it is utterly unique Why? Because the Department of Homeland Security, Total Information Awareness Unit which originated the avatar almost immediately foreswore it once the blowback hit. It may be the most Masonic, New World Orderish, Aleistar Crowleyian logo the world has ever seen, and raincoaster doubts very much if the US government would dispute her use of this image, for fear of having to admit they designed it.

thememoryhole.org/policestate/iao-logo.htm

TIA Large

Scientia est Potentia means “Knowledge is Power“

OGMD: Ads! On My Blog!!!

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TIAAds! Commercial advertisements!

ON MY GODDAM FUCKING ANARCHAL COMMUNIST BLOG, BY GOD!!!

WordPress is lovely, WordPress is free, WordPress feeds orphans in Bangladesh, yadda yadda yadda.

Could they not have had the common courtesy to say “We are going to be sticking ads on your blog, starting August 29th, and we are going to be making money off of it, and really there is nothing whatsoever you can do about that if you want to stay here”???

Failing that, could they at least act like good dot-commers and share the luv? Split the proceeds with the bloggers. I’m an anarchal communist and quite frankly being used as an advertising platform in this way was NOT what I had in mind for this blog. Would I be going off on this rant if I had been forwarned? Of course not.

WordPress did announce, a couple of months ago, that they would be “experimenting” with Google Adsense on certain blogs. As I said at the time, rather than just plopping ads on people’s blogs at random, there was sufficient interest among the community (although not me) that they’d have had an eager and full pool of volunteers within hours, had they only asked for one.

Let those people have their ads. But if you’re going to be making money off my writing without paying me for the privilege, then I really think you and I need to talk, sweetie.

I sent in a Feedback. Yes, it was more restrained than this. We’ll see if it’s any more effective. After all, I get a thousand hits a day now.

Which is, I believe, why this whole thing started in the first place.