The Snooky Covid Briefing Bingo

Welcome, possums!

Today is the sixth in our Mysterious Nomenclature Series: have you guessed the over-arching theme yet? We can give you this hint: it was chosen completely arbitrarily and has nothing whatsoever to do anything. Just like everything else this whole year.

  • Snooky
  • Muddy
  • Grumpy
  • Sparky
  • Heavy Metal
  • Happy

And here’s our actual video for the Zoolander And Co Show today:

On Parliament Hill, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau discusses the federal government’s response to the ongoing COVID-19 (coronavirus disease) pandemic. He is joined virtually by federal ministers Patty Hajdu (health) and Dominic LeBlanc (intergovernmental affairs), as well as by Dr. Theresa Tam, Canada’s chief public health officer, and Dr. Howard Njoo, deputy chief public health officer.
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Don't quit your day job, lad!

The Muddy Covid Briefing Bingo

Yes, yet another in our mysterious, riddle-iffic series of oddly-named Covid-19 Briefings. So far we’ve had

  • Muddy (today)
  • Grumpy
  • Sparky
  • Heavy Metal
  • Happy

Guessed the connection yet?

Mud season is definitely here, as Buddy the dog and all the carpets in the house can confirm. Buddy is, of course, our Ottawa office manager, and he is supervising today’s briefing bingo from the luxurious confines of his corner office.

Buddy is VERY concerned about the thrombosis issue with the AstraZenica vaccine.

Mark your first square: Technical Difficulties, as my internet crapped out right off the get-go.

Our video is here:

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau provides an update in Ottawa on the federal government’s response to the ongoing COVID-19 (coronavirus disease) pandemic. He is joined virtually by federal ministers Patty Hajdu (health) and Anita Anand (public services and procurement), as well as by Dr. Theresa Tam, Canada’s chief public health officer, and Dr. Howard Njoo, deputy chief public health officer. The prime minister announces that Pfizer will move up its delivery of 5 million vaccine doses originally scheduled to arrive in late summer to June. Canada is now on track to receive 9.6 million doses of the Pfizer vaccine that month. Trudeau and the ministers also face questions on the new guidelines for the AstraZeneca COVID-19 vaccine. Canada’s National Advisory Committee on Immunization (NACI) has modified its advice concerning the vaccine, recommending that it only be used on people over the age of 55. The recommendation comes following reports from Europe of rare but serious blood clots that have occurred after administration of the AstraZeneca vaccine.

And we’re off. Squares: facial hair, mask, vaccines, Somebody’s In A Good Mood Today (not a square, but should be). And Begins In English and Vocal Malfunction or whatever I called that square too. And AstraZenica. Blue Suit square too. We never do find out what colour the shoes are, because the camera operator cuts off the exiting shot at the knees. Very clever. VERY CLEVER. I see what you did there.

“Got your backs” as we knew would be here. And now we have Pfizer and Moderna as well. Speaking of which, someone’s put what they claim is the full mRNA sequence of the Moderna vaccine up on Github. Could be poodle sperg for all I know, don’t even have time to look, but here’s your link. Enjoy? Don’t say I never did nuthin’ for ya!

Oh shoot me, a Facebook Live event. SOME OF US ARE PERMABANNED YOU KNOW, a brand new kind of marginalization. Cut off from Federal government Covid info sessions because they’re done on a privately-owned platform instead of done on a government website first and ALSO streamed to the privately-owned platform. Fine. Whatever. Nobody listens to me.

And our cards are here:

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We all blame Trudeau

The Grumpy Covid Briefing Bingo

We’re a little annoyed this morning as our coffee is not ready yet, but here we go. Yep, still with our inscrutable Mystery Theme that’s been going for a few episodes so far. Guess it yet? We’ve had:

  • Grumpy (today)
  • Sparky
  • Heavy Metal
  • Happy
Erryday I’m grumblin’

Our video, with only 503 people watching:

On Parliament Hill, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau discusses the federal government’s response to the ongoing COVID-19 (coronavirus disease) pandemic. He is joined virtually by federal ministers Anita Anand (public services and procurement) and Dominic LeBlanc (intergovernmental affairs).

And our Bingo cards, and no we didn’t do a new one. Not sure there’s much point as they’re doing fewer and fewer of these. Trudeau may blow them off entirely, which would be a huge mistake if you axe me, which of course you did not. The Covid briefings are basically his chance to remind Canadians of all the ways his government has looked after them, and position himself against whatever bloviating Erin “Outhouse” O’Toole and Jagmeet “What He Said” Singh have been up to lately. With an election essentially inevitable in months or weeks it would be foolish to give up this bully pulpit.

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Justin Trudeau in the spotlight

The Sparky Covid-19 Briefing Bingo

Welcome back, Possums, to the Zoolander and Friends hour. As you can see we’re continuing our unspecified, guess-if-you-can arbitrary narrative framing device series. First we were Happy, then we were Heavy Metal. Now, Sparky. Possibly even electric! Like that one annoying light switch that hums angrily and occasionally snaps at you when you turn it on.

And you, Dear Readers, turn me on.


This is Sparky D’s world, and you’re living in it

Oh, oops. Sorry, wrong video. This is the one with our ensemble cast, even if they’re not here yet, fifteen minutes into the scheduled briefing. Lyrics SOMEWHAT different from the above, and, honestly, could really use a good backbeat to give it a bit more energy. Although it turns out that today’s briefing DOES have a lot of zip.

Neoliberalism: PoweredByOptimism™

On Parliament Hill, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau discusses the federal government’s response to the ongoing COVID-19 (coronavirus disease) pandemic. He is joined by federal ministers Patty Hajdu (health), Anita Anand (public services and procurement), and Dominic LeBlanc (intergovernmental affairs), as well as Dr. Theresa Tam, Canada’s chief public health officer, and Dr. Howard Njoo, deputy chief public health officer. They discuss Health Canada’s authorization of the use of the Johnson & Johnson Janssen COVID-19 vaccine. This is the first single-dose COVID-19 vaccine to be approved for use in Canada, and the fifth COVID-19 vaccine that Health Canada has approved.

And our briefing cards are here and NO I didn’t get you a new one because I didn’t expect another briefing this week, silly me.

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Speaking Moistly with Infrared

The Heavy Metal Covid-19 Briefing

Welcome to the second in our new series of Mystery Wrapped In A Riddle Though Otherwise Completely Arbitrary Narrative Framing Devices. Guess the over-arching theme and win a completely imaginary prize. Why?

It’s been A Year, Possums. It’s been a year.

The series will be ongoing till it’s over, which, who knows? There is some chaos in scheduling briefings lately, what with them getting shunted aside for Any Old Meeting, and there is some chaos in communicating the schedules, what with the Prime Minister’s website, where he usually broadcasts his schedule a day in advance, looking like it’s hidden behind a lead shield inside a faraday cage recently:

Yeah, decidedly non-optimal

Still looks like that on Chrome, too. What’s he got against Google, I wonder? Whoever designed this website is clearly involved in this product launch. We are unsure if the underwear is, like the car, made of an assortment of metals, heavy and otherwise, and composites. And that reminds me, or I mean us, wht ARE composites composed of?

Anyhoodle, here we are and here we go, with the video:

On Parliament Hill, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau discusses the federal government’s response to the ongoing COVID-19 (coronavirus disease) pandemic. He is joined by federal ministers Chrystia Freeland (finance) and François-Philippe Champagne (innovation). The prime minister announces a $518-million investment through the Canada Foundation for Innovation aimed at supporting hundreds of research projects in Canada. He also announces the extension of the Canada Emergency Wage Subsidy and the Canada Emergency Rent Subsidy and lockdown support at their current levels until June. Trudeau faces questions on Canada’s timeline for COVID-19 vaccination following U.S. President Joe Biden’s announcement that the U.S. was accelerating its rollout.

And our cards, and NO I didn’t get you a new one yet. Sorry! I should bang my head against a wall or something.

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