Larry Craig and the Village People present: I Am Not Gay!

Rumour has it that Michael Jackson is developing it into a full-length musical, just as soon as he can sign the cast from Kid Nation for the chorus!

via Disembedded

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Soe Win SO Loses

Soe Win, soe what?

Soe Win, soe what? Ain’t karma a bitch?

Myanmar’s incumbent Prime Minister Soe Win, a hardliner best known for allegedly orchestrating an attack on democracy leader Aung San Suu Kyi, has died at age 59, state media said Friday.

General Soe Win rose in the ranks after the deadly attack on the Nobel laureate’s convoy in May 2003, an event known to her supporters as “Black Friday…

But eventually Fate catches up with you, as you’d know, if you were a Buddhist. Like the hundreds of monks beaten on Soe Win‘s orders recently.

At least 13 people were killed and more than 2,000 arrested in the crackdown on the largest pro-democracy demonstrations the country has seen in almost 20 years, drawing international outrage expressed in a statement by the UN Security Council on Thursday.

X-Wing Explosion: the hidden story

Although the government has tried their best to cover up what really happened at the launch of the homemade X-Wing fighter, we here at the ol’ raincoaster blog have sourced exclusive footage which demonstrates conclusively that this was not the innocent accident we’re all supposed to believe it was.

Ask yourself: who gains by this deception? The answer, of course, is obvious.

I Ran

Actually, after watching this I couldn’t run: I was laughing too hard. Think of this celebrity-studded SNL chanson d’amour to sexy and 100% heterosexual Iranian President MahmoudNo Gays in IranAhmadinejad as this generation’s Ebony and Ivory.

“There may be no gays in Iran, but you’re in New York now, baby!”

Can’t we all just get along?

lyrics tk…oh, here they are, thanks to mlsloudon

They say true love comes only once in a lifetime
And even though we’re from opposite ends of the earth
My heart tells me you’re the one for me

Mahmoud, I remember when it started, saw you on the news
You hating gays, I was eating food
I was feeling you, and even though I disagree with almost everything you said
You ain’t wrong to me, so strong to me, you belong to me
Like a very hairy Jake Gyllenhaal to me
Mahmoud, make my heart beating out of my chest
my mind says no but my body says yes
You ain’t no threat, the only threat I see, is the threat of you not coming home to me
Our love for each other is like when atoms collide
Can’t express how I feel, and yo Adam let’s ride

And Iran, Iran so far away is your home, but in my heart you’ll stay

He ran, for the president of Iran
We ran together to a tropical island
My man, Mahmoud is known for violence
Smiling, if he can still do it then I can
They call you weasel, they say your methods are medieval
You can play the Jews, I can be your Jim Caviezel

S&M, (?) when we’re wrestlin’
You can be the port that I put my vessel in
So I try to (?) but you can still see me
With your sleepy brown eyes, butter pecan thighs
And your hairy butt… Yeah.

And Iran, Iran so far away
Come home, and in my arms you’ll stay
Used to look at the stars and dream
Around the world the same stars we’re seeing
And a twinkle in your eyes Mahmoud

Talk smooth to me, in the night sky
With you pants high waisted, damn so fly
We can take a trip to the animal zoo
And laugh at all the funny things that animals do
Like Eugene, you got me straight trippin’ boo
Hope you look at my eyes and say I’m trippin’ too
You say (?) but they already do
You should know by now, it’s you

You crazy for this world Mahmoud
So give us another Holocaust all you want
But you can’t deny that there’s something between us
I know you say there’s no gays in Iran
But you’re in New York now baby
So time to stop hating and start living

coming soon

uh, blog content.

Blowing My CoverYesterday I unplugged for the entire day and read the only example of chick lit ever to fully engross me: the quite non-fictional Lindsay Moran‘s Blowing My Cover: My Life as a CIA Spy.

And it occurred to me: given that most women buy their own perfume, rather than leave it to some guy, why are there no perfumes that are marketed using the superhero archetype? Or the superagent one? I would totally buy something that made me feel like Supergirl or Emma Peel; in fact, that’s how I choose perfumes: by balancing alluring qualities with kickass ones, which is how I ended up with Chanel #19, Allure, and (in my dreams) Midnight Poison, DKNY Red, and Stella McCartney, all of which can be described as kickass yet fuckable.

Is it related that today I am wearing my cape? I should totally make an indoor cape, for blogging, just to put myself in the right mindset. Why should imaginary people have all the fun?

Seriously.

Also, it keeps the tentacles warm.