When he died, Michael Jackson left the world confused, frightened, broken. And so was the world. We looked for answers, and now at last the ol’ raincoaster blog can reveal just what happened. Yes, we are about to tell you exactly how Michael Jackson died.
(stolen/adapted from Popbitch)

Farrah Fawcett died the same day as MJ, a few hours sooner. She reached the Pearly Gates and God was there to meet her, excitedly shoving a long-suffering St Peter out of the way to shake the hand of the blonde bombshell.

“Hi Farrah, I’m God! I’m your biggest fan!” he said, excitedly.

“Gosh, God, that’s terrific. I love my fans. Here, let me sign your toga…” she replied, whipping out a fountain pen. God giggled.

“Farrah, I’m never going to wash this toga again! You’ve made me so happy, I’d like to grant you a wish. Anything you want, just tell me and I’ll make it happen.”

“Gee, God, I guess I’d like for all the little children of the world to be safe.”

And WHAM! Just like that Michael Jackson died.