For some people, it’s a huge responsibility!
How is this for a bad day. First, the anonymous (for good reason!) woman had to have an operation to remove her enormous, inflamed hemorrhoids. While she was in there, she had them schedule a lump-ectomy for a mysterious lump in an unspecified, but equally south of the equator place. So, she’s got two butt surgeries in one day, and a couple of months of using a donut pillow ahead of her.
Then her ass caught on fire.
The accident took place after a nurse had cleaned the woman’s skin with an antiseptic solution.
With some of the highly flammable liquid having trickled under the women’s body, the patient caught fire when staff switched on the electrical current and began operating.
Yep, that’s what we around these parts call a ringburner!
Do you, too, remember this golden Cthristmas Cthlassic from your Cthildhood? I can remember the plot to this very day…
It was a dark and stormy night. In his house at Rlyeh, Great Cthulhu was Fhtagning.
But though dreaming, he was not dead. He merely seemed dead. In reality, his malign consciousness was free: free to roam the galaxy, seeking ingress to the minds of the weak, the stunted, the insane. Finally, after torturous aeons of fruitless fumblings, he had found his entry point.
“Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the haunt, Not a tentacle was stirring, not even the night gaunt. The brains were hung by the intestines with care, In hopes that St. Cthulhu soon would be there.”
Infiltrating the airwaves with his inhuman, eldritch thought-patterns the sinister Great Old One was able to connect with those who had remained loyal to him throughout all the dark aeons of his silence. A little “shipyard accident” here, a little “missing in Arabia” there and poof! The stage was set for the Greatest of the Great Old Ones to rise again, striking fear into the hearts of all puny humans.
The stars (m)aligned. The Great Cthulhu rose, slavering for victims.
But how to get to all of them? Why, look to the Ancient Masters for instruction, of course. Who has free access and welcome into all households? Who has profound, unthinkable powers of transportation, manifestation, and time-manipulation? One, and only one being, my friends.
Yes, the old man had to be gotten out of the way. Thus began the battle between The Old Man and the Sea Creature from Beyond the Abyss of the Star Spaces and the Clamoring Chaos Which is the End of All Things, by Asenath Waite.
I won’t go into the details of the battle (too gruesome for a wholesome, all-ages blog such as this one) but rest assured, there was much mucous involved.
That accomplished, Cthulhu settled down by the fire with a nice, wholesome snack, and waited for breakfast delivery.
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If they’re trying to use this enlightening ad to sell 42 Below, I’m thinking that the plan may have backfired. Click to enlarge, in case the details are fuzzy, as, indeed, they would be the next morning.
From the Clio Awards
. Be sure to click the NEXT button when you’re on the site: the second one in the series is particularly amusing!
Oh my, this IS random.
And NSFW, lingo-wise.
As near as I can make out, it’s some kind of pervy European Keebler elf frat house theme song, subtitled. If you speak… uh, elvish, by all means provide a translation!
raincoaster 