Anger Management, with Kirk and Spock

Wolverine was a big hit on the Carnaval Cruise Line lido deck

Wolverine was a big hit on the Carnaval Cruise Line lido deck

I don’t know about you, but when I think about tips for managing those tricky adolescent hormonal and emotional firestorms, I think first of the cast of the original Star Trek. Here are Kirk and Spock starring in a Nerdy Instructional Film on the highly fraught topic of Anger Management.

No Mystery about this!

Look, bitches, I don't wanna HEAR about Team Mike, okay?

Look, bitches, I don't wanna HEAR about Team Mike, okay?

Let’s hope this is the last time someone asks me why I like MST3K (translation for civilians: Mystery Science Theater 3000, a science fiction television series featuring {as you can read above} a janitor who was shot into space in the Satellite of Love by evil scientists who torture him with the worst B films they can possibly find, in retaliation for which he built a number of robots [not just Tom and Crow] who were far better company than simple mortals, come on, admit it, you’re not as funny as Crow; hell, you’re not even as funny as Gypsy unless you’ve got a couple of drinks in you).

And Joel was, like, so way better than Mike. Mike was a “special needs lacrosse player” in a janitor’s uniform.

Behold, perhaps the greatest episode of television ever committed to YouTube: the Mr B Natural Episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000:

Sticks

 

Drive In Reality Theatre Peace Arch Crossing

Drive In Reality Theatre Peace Arch Crossing

 

Pretty nifty art, eh? Find out more about it at Wired. I think I liked it better when I thought it was a drive-in screen, but maybe I was just ….

projecting.

Oh, if only my old computer George were still with us! Truly should George’s passage be mourned throughout the interwebs, for upon George is the only copy I have of one of my best short stories, one that would be a perfect addendum to this post, about a middling hypnotist who gets to do his routine in front of a very posh crowd for once in his life, slightly overreaches, and accidentally drives the entire group of Bilderbergers irrevocably insane.

Oopsie.

As a replacement, please enjoy listening to this audiorecording of the somewhat absurd and extremely creepy Sticks, the only short story of Karl Edward Wagner‘s that I ever really liked (nice guy, but better editor than writer). Best listened to by candlelight, in a remote cabin in the woods.

Audio via RadioDramaRevival.com

Quiz: what kind of scientist would you be?

I’m pretty sure I’ve done one of these before, but that was from a different company; why would I be the same kind of scientist?

Mad Scientist

Though your chief goals are the somewhat contradictory aims to rule, and then destroy, the planet Earth, you have a strong grasp of the scientific principles of blowing up things (Explodology). Good luck and please have mercy.

Take the quiz on BuzzFeed.com


Well, this seems pretty dead-on.

Barack Obama’s terrorist connection

Sew What, Stephen? Carrell is cuter

Sew What are you saying?

Oh, sure, maybe he’s not a Muslin, but American President Barack Obama is a man with a shady past. Just check out his autobiography; whole MONTHS of his childhood are unaccounted-for. Well, we here at the ol’ raincoaster blog have dug deep, connected every connection, and yanked every chain in our unceasing hunt for The Troof! and now, here it is: video proof of Barack Obama‘s lifelong loyalty to perhaps the greatest enemy Peace on Earth has ever faced:

Marvin the Martian.