Amusement Parks of the Damned 2.0

Only in Hiroshima, kids. Only in Hiroshima.


Where Are The Dogs Humping.com

Scotty is Lost In Space!

Actually, no. It’s worse:

Scotty is slowly sinking to the bottom of the South Pacific in a fine grey cloud of ash.

My God, It's Full of Stars!

My God, It's Full of Stars!

Dignified and strange, in its own way, and somehow an almost-adequate substitute for the original plan, which was for the cremains of James Doohan, proud Vancouverite, former Canadian war hero, and the actor who played Montgomery Scott, Chief Engineer of the USS Enterprise NCC-1701, to be shot into space in a private SpaceX spacecraft. Goddam dilithium crystals!

The Falcon 1 owned by Musk’s private space exploration company, SpaceX, left the ground and stayed off it for 2 minutes and 20 seconds before second- and third-stage rockets failed to ignite. The whole thing, including Scotty’s ashes, plunged back to earth.

Well, back to the Pacific Ocean anyway. But nothing, particularly not the fate of a legend, is simple, and it seems there had already been a couple of false starts and a frantic search leading up to the ultimate un-ternment. For a man who claimed (falsely, but amusingly) that he was kicked out of the Canadian Air Force for slaloming his plane between hydro poles on a bet, the rolling swells of the unfettered tropical ocean are indeed the Final Frontier.

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Eddie Izzard’s Death Star Canteen Routine, in Lego

Just what it says, people. Empty your bladders before clicking Play, particularly if you’ve been helping out in any technical help forums. When he gets into the thing with the tray you will lose control

BTW: those Lego figurines’ acting is at LEAST as good as some of the Star Wars actors’.

Blame Australia

Darth Vader and Priests

Okay, WTF?

And I do not say WTF? lightly. I only break out the WTF? for truly WTF?-worthy occasions.

Such as this one.

WTF?

I blame Australia. Weren’t the Aussies the ones who got Jediism recognized as a religion? Yes, it’s a real religion now. And so Darth Vader is either their Pope or their Anton LaVey, depending on your perspective. So, naturally, from that point ten years ago to this it’s an easy stroll to this photo, which was apparently (my Icelandic is somewhat rusty; Paging Bjork!?!?!?!) snapped at a 100% legit ecumenical networking meeting.

Which is not to imply that there is a samizdat or heretical ecumenical meeting underground, although that would be post-worthy as well, if somewhat of a logical impossibility. But we have certainly never let impossibility or logic stop us, as Metro will be only too happy to attest in the comments.

UPDATE:

Bloody Hell! None of the major online translators have an Icelandic-to-English web page translation service. Why, this is SCANDALOUS! SCANDALOUS, I tell you! I finally found one at InterTran, praise be to Cthulhu!

Blackface{Svarthöfði} riverstalk, laumast að, slope off, laumast burt, infiltrate, stream, {á} vegum félagsmanna intoat, during, for, in, {í} UnbeliefDisbelief, Incredulity, Scepticism, Skepticism, {Vantrú}

OrganisationAssociation, Company, Fellowship, Partnership, Society, {Félagar} intoat, during, for, in, {í} samtökunum UnbeliefDisbelief, Incredulity, Scepticism, Skepticism, {Vantrú} pack of horsesstud, {stóðu} pay lip service to{fyrir} participationinvolvement, {þátttöku} Blackface{Svarthöfða}  intoat, during, for, in, {í} walkingambulatory, peripatetic, {göngu} sacerdotalclerical, {presta} whomas, that, which, who, {sem} voru riverstalk, laumast að, slope off, laumast burt, infiltrate, stream, {á} leið riverstalk, laumast að, slope off, laumast burt, infiltrate, stream, {á} clausesentence, simple sentence, typesetting, {setningu} Synod{Prestastefnu} intoat, during, for, in, {í} Cathedral{Dómkirkjunni} yesterday{í gær}.

Snuggle up toAdvanee, Eneourage, Promote, Nuzzle up against, {Að} verbbid, {sögn} Matthíasar Ásgeirssonar, shapeformat, {formanns} UnbeliefDisbelief, Incredulity, Scepticism, Skepticism, {Vantrúar}, var ;fn)þetta þarna, that, this, it, {þetta} onlynone but, but, exclusively, simply, strictly, just, {aðeins} jokingly{í gríni} gert whilebut, only, than, whenas, whereas, {en} themall, þeim mun, {þeim} – finna{fannst} verya great many, a great, widely, all, greatly, highly, immensely, {afar} drolly{spaugilegt} snuggle up toadvanee, eneourage, promote, nuzzle up against, {að} improvecompensate, mend, repair, {bæta} Blackface{Svarthöfða} intoat, during, for, in, {í} hópinn.

Aðspurður sayestsayst, {segir} Matthías goings-on{viðburðinn} beef upbuild up, bolster, boost, favour, fortify, further, hype, intensify, promote, redound, reinforce, {eflaust} notdon’t, never, {ekki} becomegot to, get, grow, occur, take, will, remain, must, need, {verða} yearly{árlegan} whilebut, only, than, whenas, whereas, {en} neverne’er, , nevermore, aldrei framar, {aldrei} sé snuggle up toadvanee, eneourage, promote, nuzzle up against, {að} knowwit, {vita} totalstudy, tot, tot up to, work out at, amount to, {nema} Blackface{Svarthöfði} departeddeceased, defunct, {láti} aft{aftur á} scrape togetherrestrain oneself, hoard, {sér} kræla.

Well, that clears that up!

Doctor Who Commits Incest!

David Tennant as the Doctor

It’s true! Beloved Time Lord The Doctor (Mk. 10) (which would make an excellent rapper name, come to think of it; no, really, it would. admit it) is sleeping with his own daughter!

In two different ways!

No, he hasn’t been studying that chicken ad. David Tennant, who plays the tenth incarnation of The Doctor on the BBC series Doctor Who, is bonking the woman who plays Jenny, his daughter on the series.

Jenny. Funny name for a Gallifreyan. Honestly, what were her parents thinking?

Georgia Moffett, the actress who plays Jenny, is the daughter of Peter Davison, who played the hottest Doctor, the fifth incarnation.

Don’t they know? The streams must not cross. Worlds must not collide! The Matrix must not be corrupted. Really, no matter what space-time continuum you’re looking at, this is pretty sick and twisted stuff.

Are we sure they’re not all from West Virginia?