Not many non-Canadians know, but Junior Hockey is the bloodiest. Oh, there may be less blood on the ice, but there is far more in the stands and in the parking lot. My parents, for instance, who, having two figure skating daughters, had no particular interest in junior excuse me Junior Hockey, still went out to every game. And why?

Because they were fight fans, and they watched the stands.

Hockey parents are notoriously bloodthirsty. If William Wallace were building an army now, he would choose from the stands of Junior Hockey and be assured of the bloodthirstiness of his crew. And, in Samuel L. Jackson, this crowd has at last met its match in a coach that will say, “Fuck your pussy son’s bench-warming ass, I am playing Lucifer and Fang on defence and there is fuckall he or you or any creature in Creation can do about it, you motherfucking minivan-driver!”

Can I get an “Amen!”?