Category Archives: Squid

god. hates. shrimp.

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god also hates sea monkeys, as do all parents 

No, seriously. You can look it up: god hates shrimp.

In yet another aberrational moment, I am using a link someone posted in the comments section here, instead of something I stole mine own self off Gawker or Fark, as is the usual procedure ’round these parts.

It’s because I’m out of coffee; that would account for almost any aberrational behaviour on my part. I haven’t gone coffeeless in a number of decades, ever since the disastrous Inka experiment of ’86.

I’m assuming the link-dropper is also out of coffee, or perhaps in that blogger’s case herbal tea, as they requested specifically that I delete the comment they had just made.

And here I thought I was self-sabotaging!

Perhaps they fear the wrath of Cthulhu! In any case, here is the go-to site for all you shrimp-hating gods. I am interested to note that it informs me of a recently-overturned ban on shrimp-eating in Massachusetts and San Francisco. It appears that Christian fundamentalists there are now going to have to brave the risks of accidental apostology when consuming the jambalaya.

Play it safe, people: order the calamari!

We call upon all Christians to join the crusade against Long John Silver’s and Red Lobster. Yea, even Popeye’s shall be cleansed. The name of Bubba shall be anathema. We must stop the unbelievers from destroying the sanctity of our restaurants.

Giant Nautilus Squid, somewhat angry

extreme halloween!!!

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Ia! Ia! Cthulhu nafhtagn! Cthulhu trikrtriit! 

Or at least extreme jack o’lanterns.

I rarely post anything anyone sends me, which is a shame, as I am very lazy, yo. But I’m just contrarian enough to reject the help when people offer it for free.

Except when they offer this: jack o’lanterns from Extreme Pumpkin, in the shape of an octopus attacking a fish and a flaming tiki god. Thanks, Metro!

flaming tiki god jackolantern!

size matters, but not how you think

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I got this from Mainichi.com via Fark. It appears that, along with infantile, pervy accessories, giggling behind their fingers, and platform shoes, Japanese women just cannot get enough really, really tiny…

 Huge! Rod! Sale!

sushi.

From the land that gave the world such tiny treats as bonsai, midget submarines and shiploads of quaint consumer goods comes, according to Shukan Bunshun (10/19), the latest example of Japanese miniaturization — single grain sushi!

…

Single grain sushi is not the latest diet fad to hit the country, it’s just the latest item on the menu at Omoroi Sushiya Kajiki, a sushi restaurant with a sense of humor in Fukuoka…

Single grain sushi is sold in plates of 10 or 12 (arranged in a circle with a couple of strips of leek in the middle to form the hands of a clock) and features all the typical sushi, including makimono, tako, tamago, ikura, kohata, anago, ebi, ika, Otoro and kanpachi…

“I do it because the girls love it,” the crafty itamae tells Shukan Bunshun. “I tell ’em I’m gonna give ’em a full serving of sushi and then bring out a plate of the single grain stuff. They laugh and then go on about how cute it looks. Some of ’em take photos of it with their mobile phones. More than anything, though, I do it because I like nothing more than seeing a woman’s smiling face.”

So they laugh and tell you it’s cute? That hasn’t changed any; nobody can get those words out with a straight face.

iPod iPorn

shrimp on a treadmill

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Just what it says. You’ve had shrimp on a bed of rice, so go wild, kick the jambs out and try shrimp on a treadmill.

This isn’t the scholarly, narrated, boring version of the video, the one linked to by everybody and his brother the Total Farker. Naw, it’s the colourized, Flight of the Bumblebee-scored, cheaply amusing version, just as you’d expect from the ol’ raincoaster blog.

And this concludes Cthulhu Day.

Oh, one more thing.

Parsnip.

The Parsnip that bubbles and blasphemes at the centre of the pressure cooker forever, or at least until Grandma remembers she left the stove on

Black (Ops) Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young

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Hail! Ia! Ia!It looks like it’s Cthulhu Day both here and, thanks to me, on Boris‘ blog as well; and, thanks to Jupiter, on Gawker too. It’s a shame I missed tying it in to Mental Health Day; it would have been a perfect matchup.

In any case, we’ve had a cartoon from Hello Cthulhu and a nice bit of Cthuloid fiction, as well as a lovely and collectible street sign, so let’s look at the nonfictional aspects of it. Are there applications of the mythos to the current situation in Washington? Beyond those that have already been mentioned on the blog?

Yew betcha there are:

MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS:
MISKATONIC UNIVERSITY:
SEPTEMBER 16, 2004

Professor THIDWICK will not meet his class in “Modern American Politics” this morning, or indeed any morning. In partial explanation we offer this note, written by him in the pre-dawn hours:

I begged the Dean not to make me teach “Modern American Politics” this semester. I knew that in order to teach it properly I would have to delve into the secrets of the Bush administration. I knew that I would learn THINGS THAT HUMANS (as we say in these post-sexist times) ARE NOT MEANT TO KNOW. I feared that this would drive me insane–into shrill unholy madness. And so it has.

But up until now I have still able to teach my course. I am proud of that. Far gone in shrill unholy madness as a result of the incompetence, mendacity, malevolence, and disconnection from reality that I am, I could still communicate with my students in English and. Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Krugman R’lyeh wagn’nagl fhtagn! Aiiiiiii!!!

Apologies. The fits come and go. They come more quickly now. By proper effort of will I can sometimes. Ph’nglui mglw’nafh. Stop them. There. But I fear that tonight I have taken another step, and will no longer be able to intelligibly communicate with humanity. I have learned more. So shrill as to be inaudible to human hearing. But the dogs will still hear me, for a while at least.

While preparing tomorrow’s lecture I came across this: a letter from Michael Scheuer, the head of the CIA’s Osama bin Laden unit from 1996-1999…

Go on. You know you want to read the rest.