rocketman, and no, not the William Shatner version

The Yves Rossy version. Yes, it’s the Icarus of Switzerland on video!

Stole this from Dale, who stole it from Defence Tech, which is the kind of trash he reads at the hairdresser’s, just to give you an idea what his life is like. You’d think the boy would learn from me and raise his standards, but noooooooooo.

I’m tired of putting videos over the jump. Nobody EVER watches them that way. Dialup users, you’ve annoyed me one too many times; payback’s a bitch!

and here’s some text from his site explaining exactly what’s going on, as if you couldn’t tell by the above video of a small man with a jet-propelled, winged strap-on  jumping out of an airplane.

…the aerodynamic wings were improved and their span was increased to 3 meters. As of 2004 and because there was a loss of rigidity due to the inflatable side of the wings, Yves had to stop his collaboration with “Prospective Concepts” and work only with “ACT Composites” who then created foldable carbon wings, able to be used from a Pilatus Porter plane.
Finally, at 7:30pm on June 24th, 2004 and after the 3rd trial of the day (6th motorized trial), Yves finally dropped out of the Pilatus at an altitude of 4000m over the Yverdon airfield. Before pulling on the little lever that controls the opening of his wings, Yves lets himself glide for a couple seconds and at the altitude of 2500m, he starts the ignition of the engines and waits 30 seconds for them to stabilize. Once they are steady, he can finally speed up the engines and suddenly the dream comes true… He manages a horizontal flight at 1600m from the ground for more than 4 minutes, at a speed of 100 knots, in formation with the Pilatus!

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bisexual bat sex demon attack prevention

Frank Frazetta's Frankenstein and Dracula 

Well, that title should draw the Buffy fans like flies.

The BBC reports that men in Tanzania live in constant fear of being attacked and raped by a bisexual demon in the form of a giant bat.

The story goes that the bat is able to transform itself into a man at night and it has also been blamed for rapes of women.

Sheikh Yahya Hussein, a prominent astrologer in Tanzania, claims that the demon is a spirit that is unleashed by witches to torment their opponents.

Naturally, in an effort to prevent such attacks, the men are sleeping rough (it being, presumably, well-known that sex-crazed bat-shaped demons have difficulty performing when they’re out in the open and prefer a more intimate setting for their acts of incubation/incubattery) and, of course, smearing themselves with lardons, which has the not-entirely-welcome effect of repelling gay bat sex demons yet attracting Mario Batali and his fingerling.

Also, no sightings of said sex-crazed bat demon have in fact been reported in Tanzania at all. So ask yourself…have any sightings been reported around here? We will pause while you check the local paper.

And since the Tanzanian protections have so far proven 100% effective at deterring sex-crazed bat demon attacks, perhaps you should start thinking about the practicalities.

Just to be safe, get out the Crisco and the hammock. After all, you don’t want anyone thinking you were asking for it.

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quiz: what uselessly outdated skill are you?

Just the thing for a lazy Saturday.

  What obsolete skill are you?  

You are ‘French’. In the nineteenth century, it was the international language of diplomacy. It is a ‘beautiful’ language, meaning that it is really just a low-fidelity copy of Latin.You know the importance of communicating ‘diplomatically’, which for you means both being polite and friendly when necessary and using sophisticated, vicious sarcasm when appropriate. Your life is guided by either existentialism or nihilism, depending on the weather. You have a certain appreciation for the finer things in life, which is a diplomatic way of saying that you are a disgusting hedonist. Your problem is that French has been obsolete for a long time.
Take this quiz!

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If I had a rocket launcher

By request, Bruce Cockburn‘s revolutionary anthem. Not all lefties are peaceniks, you know. Lyrics over the jump…

Che, yo.

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Continue reading

Blame Germany!

Die! Deodorant!

Is this who’s to blame for the choking miasma that inhabits the ladies’ room at Metrotown? The brave or desperate souls who venture into the complicated tunnel system behind the Food Court (and who survive) tell tales of a horrible, synthetic, eye-biting cloud of Spring Meadow-scented vapour. We here at the ol’ raincoaster blog had always put it down to the suburban penchant for Aqua Net, Charlie, and the apparent inability of mall-goers to deposit their deposits within the toilet bowl, instead of all over the seat, the floor, and the cubicle walls.

How wrong we were.

It turns out that Germans are apparently so stinky that only crop-duster-sized doses of deodorant are effective on them. Unfortunately, they are equally effective at setting off fire alarms, as a group of blushing, sweating, but presumably Meadow-Fresh teenagers discovered.

“The fumes of the pleasant-smelling deodorant were so intense that they drifted up to the ceiling and set off a fire detector,” said Volker Buttgereit of the Buesum police force… “Hopefully the girls will get by with a little less spray next time,” said Buttgereit.

Well I for one fully support the use of aromatherapy candles in ladies’ rooms. If nothing else, the resulting explosions should singe off their underarm hair, thus reducing the need for deodorant in the first place.

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