Category Archives: Travel

fart-proof panties

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Fartypants, yoAlso excellent for birth control, as anyone who sees that you wear these horrific remedial incontinent-Grandma pants will cut (out) like the wind.

The Under-Ease pants have an in-built multi-layered, replaceable filter made of felt, charcoal and fibreglass wool.

Having recently returned from the Valley of the Shadow of Conservatism, I must take a moment to note for posterity that, no matter what the level of fine or otherwise dining one may be enjoying there, the main course is always accompanied by a hearty serving of boiled, frozen broccoli and cauliflower. Always. I believe this to be a subtle yet effective adaptation to the climate; a clever way of ensuring that Ontarians do not freeze in their sleep, as their beds will be cosily heated for hours from the pre-heated gaseous emissions resulting from the breakdown of said side-dish cruciferousness. Cruciferocity. Whatever; it’s nothing to do with Catholicism. There is obviously no market for these pants in Ontario, regardless of the religious demographics.

I’m wondering if, after a certain point of flatulence and resultant inflatuation while wearing these pants, one achieves the ability to fly, Hindenburg-style? I can just see currently-sexagenarian Richard Branson snarfing down some quick Taco Bell and attempting to set a new record for underwear-powered flight. And, of course, if this method of transportation catches on it could revolutionize the car and aerospace industries as well as meaningfully reduce global warming and cause the entire tax system to be re-evaluated. I forsee a boom in the legume and dried turkish apricot markets very soon.

Buy low, sell high.
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the faces of terror

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According to the Americans, this is what a terrorist looks like:

maher arar

and like this

Pretty hot for a terrorist, eh?

and like this

tiny toddling terrorist?

Well, you may say, better safe than sorry. After all, we don’t know what the kid had in her diaper, and the first two are kinda swarthy-lookin’.

And yes, fair enough, they do look kinda tan for, respectively, a Canadian and a Swede, but since Maher Arar was cleared of terrorism charges and released after spending two years of torture in a Syrian prison(Syria being the US’s favorite offshore torture facility), and since Prince Carl Philip of Sweden is in line for the throne of a major European monarchy, besides being a total hottie, to keep Arar on the no-fly list and to arrest and detain HRH CP in jail overnight for using his diplomatic passport and looking insufficiently regal seems a tad…well, overzealous.

Whereas we have no sympathy whatsoever for the three year old girl who threw a screaming tantrum while her flight was boarding, and who was thrown off the plane and banned along with her parents for “attacking a woman” (who happened to be her mother). If empowered to do so, I myself would unhesitatingly throw off a plane anyone I felt looked like they could at some point in the flight become flatulent, hog the armrest, throw a screaming fit, attack someone, discuss real estate or smokers’ rights, or chew with their mouths open. And I wouldn’t wait for the bloody plane to land, either. Softies!

So, with passport requirements stiffening, even for US citizens trying to re-enter their own country — don’t misplace yours. If it can happen to Swedish royalty, it can happen to anyone.

Well, OK, there is one difference between royalty and us little guys in this situation…

“I got the impression that he thought it was quite exciting,” said documentary film maker Folke Rydén, who was traveling with the Prince as part of the filming project.

Special bonus British terrorist:

Yeah, he just looks like trouble. It's the eyes...you can see it in his eyes

Jay Cowper, the tiny terrorist, the huggable hoodie.

The shop, which serves the well-to-do Huntington area of York, is only a five-minute walk from the family home but it was a cold and windy night so Jay was wrapped up in a brown Next jacket with a furry hood.

Mrs Cowper said: “No sooner had they got inside than the shopkeeper said to my husband, ‘Could you ask the little boy to remove his hood?’

“My husband said, ‘He’s only two and a half, I don’t think he’s going to rob you!’“

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pic o’ the day: Sable Island Horses

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A collection of photos of Canada‘s wild Sable Island horses taken in 2002 by Robert Dutesco, via Bridlepath. Here is a teaser.

Sable Island horse by Robert Dutesco

all this useless beauty

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Carousel to nowhere 

 

Is it better to have been loved and lost, than never to have been loved at all? These sites, galleries of photographs of an abandoned Japanese amusement resort (click on the pictures for more) raise some intriguing questions about the nature of beauty and loss.

roller coaster in fog

If we’re being honest it seems pretty clear that, had we seen this place when it was going strong, we would probably (as the jaded grownups we have become) consider this to be a pretty tacky amusement park, which is a bit like calling something a pretty water-resistant duck. Amusement parks are amusing, but they are rarely sophisticated or ironic. And they are rarely beautiful.

But now look.

roller coaster

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yes, it’s back: Fashion Week Tehran!

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Fashion Week Tehran!Try to contain your excitement. Or, if you can’t contain it, hide it under one of these: you could probably hide the complete works of Rumi plus a couple of dervishes (dervishii?) under there with room to spare.

From the Manolo, who makes a delightfully obscure and intellectual reference in his brief commentary, keeping up the standards of Intellectual Day on the ol’ raincoaster blog.

But seriously, there’s just no excuse for that seam!