electronik supersonik

via Fark. How did this piece of unrestrained glam rock Boraticism and bad Engerish escape me for this long? Long live Molvania!

Hey baby, wake up from your asleep.
We have arrived on to the future and the whole world is become…

Electronik, supersonik. Supersonik, electronik.

Hey baby, ride with me away.
We doesn’t have much time.
My blue jeans is tight,
So on to my love rocket climb.
Inside tank of fuel is not fuel but love,
Above us, there is nothing above
But the stars above.
All systems gone, prepare for downcount!
5
4
3
1!
Offblast!

Fly away in my space rocket.
You no need put money in my pocket.
The door is closed I just lock it.
(Hah!) I put my spark plug in your socket (Hah! Ha ha hah!)

The sun in sky is bright like fire!
You and me gets higher and higher.
Heart of communication fire!
Only thing can stop us is flat tire.

(Hah! Hah! Ha ha hah!)

Hey love crusader, I want to be your space invader.
For you I will descend the deepest moon crater.
I is most stronger than darth vapor.
Obey me, I is your new dictator.

For you is Venus, I am Mars.
With you I is more richer than all the czars.
Make a wishes on a shooting stars, then for you I will play on my cosmic guitars!

Ladies and gentlemen, fasten your beltseats.
We has commenced our descent.
I trust you enjoy this flight as much as you enjoy this accent.

Now, back on earth, is time for down splash.
Into sea of eternal glory my spaceship crash.
People have arrived for to cheer me from near and far.
And as I bloat, I open door and shout:
I am world’s biggest washed-up superstar!
(Supersonik, electronik)

As for sure as the sun rises in the west, of all the singers and poets on earth, I am the bestest.
Come, let me put ring of jupiter on your finger.
Then, like a smell around you, I will forever linger.

Okay, is time for end, no more will I sang.
Let me take you back in time, I want for you to experience big bang.
Long live space race, long live Molvania.

 

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quiz: the Canadian slang proficiency test

Certified Canuck
You earned a total score of 76 %
There’s maple sugar running through your veins, isn’t there?
My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 99% on proficiency

Link: The Canadian Slang Proficiency Test written by green_apple_ on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

From Laverne & Shirley, via Azahar.

Kinky Koalas in Christmas display

A koala bear peep show in a store’s Christmas display? Another featuring an animatronic platypus administering a hand job to a recumbent wombat?

Dese Australians, dey are crazeeeey!

From the Herald Sun, via (who else?) Fark.

EYEBROWS were raised outside the Myer Christmas windows in Melbourne when a platypus appeared to be intimately involved with a wombat.

A malfunction was the cause of the accidental and unfortunate positioning of the two characters in this year’s Christmas windows titled Wombat Devine.

But window watchers in attendance did not know about the mistake for some time and many were quite surprised by what they saw.

“I don’t know what to think,” said a mother of four.

“They look like they are… involved.”

And in another window, eagle-eyed bestiality fans noted the following koala-on-koala-gimp action.

NSFW, if you W with koala bears all day.

Myer stores in Sydney may be closing the toilets to stop homo activity, but their Melbourne counterparts are putting it in their windows for all the world to see!! Check out these cute little blighters in this years X-mas window display!

In England, though, they call this dogging…hmmm, wonder why? They had Jordan turn on the Oxford Street Chrismas lights this year (among other things) which rather sets the tone, so it stands to reason that somewhere in the festive decorations lurks a cunningly disguised display of canine kink.

Pictures can be forwarded to the address in the top right-hand corner, please.

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holy sheet! panda poo papers path to prosperity

 My god, what is that woman doing to that panda?

Sometimes the headlines just write themselves, eh?

The CBC, your go-to source for all panda-plop monetization scheme updates, has reported that Thailand’s Chiang Mai zoo is selling sheets of beautiful, handmade keepsake paper composed primarily of panda poop. It’s in great demand as a gift item.

“Saw this and thought of you.” How sweet.

When keepers of the country’s panda couple – Chuang Chuang and Lin Hui – tired of disposing the 25 kilograms of feces daily produced by the duo, Prasertsak Buntragulpoontawee came up with the idea of turning it into notebooks, fans, bookmarks and key chains.Pandas just poop too damn much!

“At first the Chinese were very skeptical,” said the head of Chiang Mai Zoo‘s panda unit…But the multicoloured paper products have proven hot selling-items at the zoo, with the the equivalent of about C$9,350 earned to date helping balance the accounts of panda keeping…

Prasertsak said he was inspired by sa paper, or mulberry leaf paper, a traditional, local product which has proven a highly popular gift item in recent years.

“… in the zoo, when people see real pandas and then their product they’re excited and buy.”

I’ll bet. Does Chuck Berry know about this? How about Mark Oaten? I forsee a radical new idea in super-personalized autobiographies…

But has anyone thought of the most obvious application?

TP Panda!

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Greenpeace blames Canada! And Espana!

via Digital Doodles.

Oh my god, they killed Squiddy!

ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS SHOW — EXCEPT THE BOTTOM TRAWLING — ARE ENTIRELY FICTIONAL. ALL CELEBRITY VOICES ARE IMPERSONATED… POORLY. THIS VIDEO CONTAINS COARSE LANGUAGE AND DUE TO ITS CONTENT SHOULD ONLY BE VIEWED BY SPANISH FISHERMEN.

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