Puppets are evil. Clown puppets are the very DEFINITION of creepy evil.
You know it. Clown puppets are the absolute definition of creepy evil, and monkey clown puppets? There’s absolutely no word in the English language for the concentrated manifestation of evil which this concept represents. See for yourself:
Need some brain bleach? Here are some Gossip Links of Evil over the jump.
And then he bit right through that sweet little baby's skull and sucked out the brains.
from retrogasm:
I’ve never seen photos of a happy child on Santa’s lap or the Easter Bunny’s, but a Unicorn makes everyone happy…
Yeah, until he takes his mask off and you realize he’s wearing another under it, and that one is made of human skin…
Need some brainwash? Here is cute little Canuck Ellen Page juggling citrus fruits. In Canada, a grapefruit can marry an orange and then the taxpayers have to pay for their seeds to be planted. It’s true. It’s a FACT.
Priorities, Parents
Not to point out the obvious, but has anyone else noticed that the oxytocin rush associated with New Parenthood often results in complete failure of perspective? If I didn’t know better, I’d swear this was ripped from a Kate Hudson/Steve Martin movie. And maybe, some day, it will be.
While we’re dwelling on that (un)happy thought, here are our gossip links for your perusal. I would have put them up yesterday, but apparently Vancouver got kicked off the internet before I got that done.
I think I have that outfit at home, actually
Pretty much. Oh, you have your Rebecca Blacks. You have your Posh Spices. But you could have a whole Spice Rack of untalented songbirds, put them all together, and they still wouldn’t sound anywhere near as bad as this:
That is the immortal Jonathan Edwards on piano, accompanying his showstopper of a vocalizing wife, Darlene, performing the Bee Gee’s greatest tune, Stayin’ Alive. That’s “vocalizing” like Siamese cats vocalize when you slam their tales in car doors. And you have Bunk Strutts to thank for the fact that I have a new favorite musical act.
- Jonathan and Darlene Edwards, explained. Sorta
Jonathan and Darlene Edwards will always work. Some people have no tolerance for failed art. It just gives them goosebumps. The enlightened mind, however, has boundless appreciation for an artist putting him/herself out there and failing spectacularly. Even though the Edwardses (real names: were Jo Stafford and Paul Weston) were perfectly functional pro musicians (he pianoed while she sang), they are remembered now for acting clueless. The tragedy of artistic failure is deeply funny to me – even when faked – and it takes an artist of great courage to pretend they are completely inept. Apart from music like this, such failure can be found in Mystery Science Theater and various portfolio submissions from job applicants, but for differing reasons.
Jonathan and Darlene were truly underappreciated in their own time, despite a grammy win in 1960, but enjoyed a late renaissance in the Seventies with the release of this epic effort, along with the very of-its-time “I Am Woman.”
FOR ASLAN AND FOR NARNIA and also for cheap comedy
In case your grey, humdrum world is entirely bereft of joy and sunshine, here are 50 photos of basset hounds running to brighten your meaningless, pathetic existence. We strongly suggest you shout the above line at the top of your lungs when viewing each image. This will provide both an endorphin rush and needed oxygenation. (h/t SeanCranbury)
If that alone cannot shock you out of your black fog of existential despair, we suggest reading the following gossip links and laughing out loud at the thought that all of these ridonkulous losers are paid far more than you ever will be.
raincoaster 