Operation Global Media Domination: award-winning roundup

Miss Congeniality, or Miss Conception?

I’d like to thank all the little people…before they turn on me.

Also the Generator Blog, from whence I stole this Web-award generator. Hey, no sense in waiting for the grass to grow, eh? I thought I’d give all those web-awarders a helping hand. That’s right; raincoaster is always thinking of others. So put your feet up, guys. I’ve gotcha covered.

Meanwhile, in Operation Global Media Domination news, I am happy to report that I have cracked the top 89,000 on Technorati, out of about 45 million blogs, and only since the second-last day of February, when I started the blog. Mother would be so proud. Thanks are particularly due all those Brits who have mistaken me for one of themselves, and a True Patriot at that. Look, I hate Tony Blair as much as any of you, but I also have extremely mixed feelings. It’s…it’s complicated, okay??? Oh yeah, and somebody came to the blog looking for BoJo Porn; try the Times.

The posts most responsible for this rush to the cranial summit of the blogosphere are, of course, Beautiful Agony and 101 Bottles of diet coke, 523 mentos, and 2 mad scientists. Baby Eagles are still big in parts of Cyberia, and some poor, demented dude keeps hitting the blog every damn day looking for Charo porn and finding only a cool, Up With Queers music video. Speaking of gays, Ernest and Bertram went viral for a day or so, landing on a couple of forums across the ocean until the bandwidth got bustickated or whatever it is that happens to bandwidth; short form, E&B viral campaign snipped in the bud, dammit!!!

The latest potentially-viral stars are a couple of YouTubers: Chad Vader, Day Shift Manager, the sad tale of Darth‘s loserish brother’s humdrum life, and Paris Hilton stewing, nearly nekkid, in poop soup. Then there’s the Found Porn Slideshow, always a big hit with the Neanderthals.

The only serious post that’s showing any longevity is From Israel, With Love, the Update which is good as the MSM and much of the blogosphere including BoingBoing seems to have got the story substantially wrong, even after corrections.

So that’s all for this edition of Operation Global Media Domination, other than to say that going offline for a few days actually increased the hits. When I went on vacation, my “take it for granted” number of hits was 300. Now it’s 650.

I should take more vacations.

the life and death of a pumpkin

Brought to you by Blame Society Productions, the same weirdonauts that brought you Chad Vader, Day Shift Manager.

A cherished holiday from a new and horrible perspective. Brought to you by Blame Society Productions. More of our films at http://www.splu.net/

I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is…more SQUID!!!

Don’t try to tell me you wouldn’t pay to see that!

Japanese Kamikaze Manual

The moment of the crash

You are two or three meters from the target. You can see clearly the muzzles of the enemy’s guns. You feel that you are suddenly floating in the air. At that moment, you see your mother’s face. She is not smiling or crying. It is her usual face.

All the happy memories. You won’t precisely remember them but they are like a dream or a fantasy. You are relaxed and a smile creases your face. The sweet atmosphere of your boyhood days returns.

You view all that you experienced in your 20-odd years of life in rapid succession. But these things are not very clear.

In any event, only delightful memories come back to you. You cannot see your own face at that moment. But because of a succession of pleasant memories flashing through your mind, you feel that you smiled at the last moment. You may nod then, or wonder what happened. You may even hear a final sound like the breaking of crystal. Then you are no more.

Read more of this beautiful madness over at the Shebeen Club blog.

site o’ the day: Nigga Know Technology

NKT

Niggaknow.com, via Gawker. Words fail me.

Let’s see the real reason why NiggaKnow is throwin all they support to CinemaNow and not MovieLink. First, since MovieLinks shit don’t work in no Firefox, we gotta fire up that Internet Explorer to open they bitch-made ass website, because those white motherfuckers is so crazed that they gonna make you throw more paper at that nigga Bill Gates. Here’s a shot of their bullshit ass homepage…

and so on…