Beaver is, of course, the national animal of Canada, and for good reason: who doesn’t like a friendly beaver? Why, there’s nothing so welcoming to travel-weary tourists as the sight of a naked beaver straddling the dotted line in the middle of the highway, greeting the newcomers with what passes for wild abandon here in Canuckistan.

You’ve heard, perhaps, of the Canadian who asked the US border guard to say “Please?” He got pepper sprayed.

And a few years ago there was a lineup at an ATM in Montreal. A Canadian got to the front of the line, got his money from the machine, said “Thank you,” to the machine…

And the American in line behind him beat him up.