Hump Day Unicorn Chaser: Wishery by Pogo

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You know what I love? Fairy tales. You know what I hate? Disney. Oh, it’s not that these bloody-minded tales of Nemesis and warped value systems haven’t been Bowdlerized before, but they have never been Bowdlerized so creepily, yet so insipidly.

I mean, seriously, doesn’t Snow White just make your skin crawl? Is she not the most loathesomely irritating person with a simpering voice and obnoxiously dim brain since Mrs Topper as portrayed by Billie Burke?

(yes, I know this isn’t from Topper, but it’s all I could find)

Well, Snow White is up there when it comes to driveling bubbleheads with irritating, saccharine voices, surely, but at last some musical genius has made her tolerable. Behold the brilliant syncopations of “Wishery” by Pogo, a Pixar employee, and marvel at the unspeakable rendered not simply bearable, but beautiful.

Mostly by giving the dwarves more airtime, it’s true, but whatevs.

via SomeOfMyBestFriends

eel be all right soon

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You won't eel a thing

You won't eel a thing

Look, dude, just close your eyes and get it over with. It’ll all be over soon. You’re just lucky your friend is too stupid to understand his boss’s orders: normally, when they say “Sleep with the fishes” they don’t mean sleep, you know what I’m sayin’? And I’m not going to tell him.

Isabella Rossellini fills the convents! (raincoaster)

Parker Posey is no angel either (Ayyyy)

Putin aside temptation (Lolebrity)

Industry Swiftly makes Kanye prOn (AgentBedhead)

Conan O’Brien is a cunning linguist (BusyBeeBlogger)

Adrien Brody is pursued by a succubus from Hell (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Angels get pregnant? (CelebritySmack)

Celebrity hobos (CityRag)

Cojo eulogizes Liz Hurley’s dress (CojoStyle)

Recession fashion tips from Vivienne Westwood (CyberBoris)

Kanye in the Sky with a microphone? (DailyStab)

Anne Hathaway is Jake Gyllenhaal’s guardian angel (EvilBeet)

Don’t EVER touch Charlie Sheen’s watch (Earsucker)

These are your people’s choices (GabbyBabble)

and deliver us from Speidi (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Un-chain Hilary Swank’s heart (GoFugYourself)

A Kardashian is judging you (HaveUHeard)

Russell Brand leaves his wife for Prince Charles (INeedMyFix)

Victoria Beckham and her incubus step out in daylight (JustJared)

Shalit be time for trading places? (Movieline)

The government hates your boss too (PerezHilton)

and in related news, Castro is still alive (PoorBritney)

Before Pee-Wee! (SeriouslyOMG)

 

Bedbug sex, Isabella Rossellini, and why science students remain lifelong virgins

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I mean, if you were an innocent schoolgirl and THIS was your first exposure to sex, wouldn’t you join a convent?

Bedbugs, sex, city apartments, and knife penises.

Quiz: what late night show host are you?

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Oh, of COURSE. I’m not a Jewish NYC hunk, except apparently mentally, but this totally works for me.


You Are The Daily Show


You are well informed and very up to the minute on current events. And you sometimes just have to laugh at the world.

Your sense of humor is very sarcastic and mocking. You can’t believe these crazy times we live in. 

Sometimes people can’t tell if you’re joking or not, and who really cares?

The things you say can be quite profound, even if they are also hilarious.

Can’t we all just get along?

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STOPPIT!

ENOUGH!

Imagine there’s no humans. It’s easy if you try (or turn your back on the government for five seconds)…