quiz: which aphrodisiac are you?

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Yes, it’s blog filler. No, we’re not proud. You should know that by now.

We ARE, however, self-promotional, so this is the perfect time to remind you all that the Crime Pays party on Monday will feature an auction of Vangroover‘s finest hotties of all sexes, plus a poetry brothel! Come on, bid! When was the last time you had a chance to win a date with a legendary (well, actually fictional) character among others? Eh? Answer me that!


You Are Wine


You are very naturally sexy and inviting. You don’t have to try too hard.

The longer people spend time with you, the more drawn in they become.

You believe that seduction shouldn’t be rushed, you like to savor every moment.

Going too fast kills the excitement. You like to indulge all of your senses.

Did Shirley Temple Start This Way?

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reposted from TeenyManolo, because I’m lazy

Attention, stage parents everywhere! Your sprog has yet another chance to make up for your own inadequacies by prancing in front of uncaring ad executives for an opportunity to enter the glamorous world of professional entertainment:

The Potty Dance

Details on the soul-crushing, future-adolescence-blighting contest here. Via MomFuse.

Beaver Shots: Wild Road Beaver

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Beaver is, of course, the national animal of Canada, and for good reason: who doesn’t like a friendly beaver? Why, there’s nothing so welcoming to travel-weary tourists as the sight of a naked beaver straddling the dotted line in the middle of the highway, greeting the newcomers with what passes for wild abandon here in Canuckistan.

You’ve heard, perhaps, of the Canadian who asked the US border guard to say “Please?” He got pepper sprayed.

And a few years ago there was a lineup at an ATM in Montreal. A Canadian got to the front of the line, got his money from the machine, said “Thank you,” to the machine…

And the American in line behind him beat him up.

quiz: what comfort food are you?

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This works for me. In fact, I think I’ll go out and get myself some of this for breakfast. By the time the Ovaltine opens I’ll have been up for four hours and done three blog posts. I’ll have earned it!


You Are Mac and Cheese


When you are stressed out, you seek safety above everything else.

And nothing is more nourishing than a big warm plate of carbs.

Taking risks takes a toll on you, and you prefer your comfort food to be old fashioned.

You’re the type of person who could eat the same meal every night, especially when life is hard.

folk you

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Truly has the great prophet of old, Tom Lehrer, said that the reason most folk songs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people. Yet, verily, we have found one which transcends the acoustic mire to stand proudly alone, foremost or perhaps in this case hindmost among them all. Please join me in giving a warm welcome to Jonathan Coulton, performing his acoustic version of Baby Got Back:

via Newscoma