Yes, he’s back. Brian Atene, everybody’s favorite YouTube Celebrity (what, you prefer Chris Crocker?) is back with more from the Dark Side.
“I’m just an analogue guy in a digital world.”
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China’s Secret WMD Program Revealed!
Just when you thought they’d settled for poisoning your children.
But Nooooooooooo. The Yellow Peril, lurking all this time behind a mask of bland inscrutability and blind greed, has been quietly working since the collapse of the Cold War. Working on a project so secret that even the vast armies of workers working on it don’t know what it is they’re working on. Indeed: so secret they don’t even actually know they’re working at all.
It’s a secret, see? Quality control is so important.
I worry if whoever thought up the term ‘quality control’ thought that
if we didn’t control it, it would get out of hand.
Lily Tomlin
But what have they actually been working on? Oh, we’re glad you asked. For we right here at the ol’ raincoaster blog have got the world exclusive. Yes, we alone know exactly what mighty machine of destruction has been stealthily constructed, right under the very noses of the foreign Olympic-hunting paparazzi. Nothing less than the largest weapon of mass destruction since Britney’s appearance at the VMA’s. Nothing less than the Doomsday Machine Itself.
Beijing, China: Workmen clean the roof of the National Grand Theatre
Photograph: Adrian Bradshaw/EPA
Oh, how clever these Chinese are. They think we can be taken in by a simple line drawn in Photoshop and a two-bit reflection filter on a photograph that had to pass through vigilant bureaucratic censors. They think we really believe this to be a simple photograph of workers on top of a rounded building, a concert hall, a theatre perhaps. HA! But if you have the skill to remove the slave-created, primitive layers of deception all is revealed after the jump.
A click here, a click there, and voilà! The naked truth is revealed:
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on Marathons and Personal Dignity
Not that we know all that much about either. But we have recently started running again (well, run/walking) and we are verily all fired up about it as we have made a deal with God that every time our computer crashes we will do something useful while waiting for it to come back up, whether that is laundry, washing dishes, straightening up the living room, or going for a workout.
And yea, verily, we hates the housework we does.
And so. So to the quote o’ the day, in which our protagonist (far too whingey and self-absorbed to be a hero) learns at least one of the many lessons that a Marathon can teach one.
From the Guardian:
Surrounded by very short young women, whose legs must have been half the length of mine, I told myself I was pathetic if I couldn’t keep up with them. Thompson is not impressed. “If you are then passed by the short-legged women that might be soul destroying,” he cautions…
“When you get overtaken by six vikings carrying their own boat it does take you down a peg or two,” says Loosemoore. “You’ve got to prepare yourself for that before the marathon. The real battle is against yourself. You are going to be overtaken. There will be extremely good marathon runners in rhinoceros costumes. Try not to be distracted by that.”
Maybe you had to be there, but I found it funny.
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GODDAMMIT! Another Fucking Quiz
Around 13% of the pages on your website contain cussing.
This is 63% MORE than other websites who took this test.
via AgentBedhead
Jesus Fucking Tapdancing Christ with Mary and Joseph on a GODDAMNED donkey, what are these fucktoid cunts doing, pulling shitty numbers out of their ass? I think it’s time to seed the ol’ raincoaster blog with a little profanity, don’t you?
You know where the comments section is. Assholes.
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the mansions Jack built, the house Jack lost
I’ve been working on a post about this for quite some time, but this single comic from AccordionGuy says it better than I could, which will, of course, not stop me from giving it the old college-dropout try, right after the pic:
And you know that Jack’s taxes paid for every one of them. The banks have been shuffled around between rich people, the bundled mortgage products rebundled and shuffled and dealt out again, tax writoffs have been off-written, but quite frankly the lack of defenestrations leads me to believe this was nothing but a shell game played by knowing hucksters, and every first-generation homeowner who thought he’d do something long-term for his family and think ahead instead of renting played the sucker here.
That’ll teach ’em.
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raincoaster 