Shebeen Club: Gonzo Vancouver

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The Shebeen Club: Gonzo Vancouver!

When: 7-9pm, Tuesday, April 15th, 2008

Where: the Shebeen, 7 Gaoler’s Mews, behind the Irish Heather, 217 Carrall Street, Vancouver BC

How Much: $15 includes dinner: limited to 40

What: mingling, door prizes, eating, drinking, fornicating!

Who: Heather Watson (Civixen), Gonzo Journalist and founding columnist at Terminal City

“We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-coloured uppers, downers, screamers, laughers and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls.”
Hunter S. Thompson

Well, we probably won’t have that, but we will have a great introduction to indigenous Vancouver Gonzo journalism with the hyperkinetic and internationally infamous Heather Watson, alias Civixen (http://www.civixen.com/ and http://cvxn.tumblr.com). Coming at you straight down the Mojo Wire at 95 miles per hour, it’ll be an evening of raw, uncut literary power. Bare-knuckling her way up the ladder from the wide open frontier of the Wild West to the mean streets of Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside, Heather has seen it all, done most of it, and has a damn hell solid alibi for everything else.

Bio: Heather Watson created the satirical op/ed column “Civixen,” which became a source of enjoyment and irritation for political bright lights and dim bulbs alike (including the current mayor) in the four years it ran in two local alternative newspapers. Besides a brief tenure as editor-in-chief of the 30,000-circulation Gonzo-inspired Terminal City (now sadly defunct), Heather Watson also presented a popular seminar on Gonzo Journalism at the request of the Western arm of the Canadian University Press in 2006. She is a published poet, a produced playwright and her essay “Vancouver Today” is featured in the Time Out Guide to Vancouver. In addition to a few years at Vancouver’s éminence grise of independent bookstores, Duthie Books, some of her more surreal side jobs have included voice-over and motion capture for a video game and six years spent hand modeling toys from Star Wars figures to Barbies in dozens of TV commercials.

Meet and Mingle 7-7:30
Listen and Learn 7:30-8
Drown Sorrows and Vow to Buck the System 8-9 or, really, the rest of your life.

in the distant future

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Perhaps some day in the far distant future, when it doesn’t take me five hours to make a single blog post, when that post doesn’t then crash my computer as I hit Publish, when that post isn’t, in fact, GONE when I go through the twenty-minute restart process, and when Freegeek Vancouver RESPONDS TO THEIR ONLINE CONTACT FORM SO I CAN GET SOMETHING MORE STABLE THAN THIS POS, I shall be able to blog more for your entertainment.

Alas, that day is not yet here. Should you happen to run into someone from Freegeek, tell them I haven’t got the time to waste and have gone to reBoot instead.

< /rant >

Milly d’Abbraccio brings a metaphor to life

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Politicians, my friends, are asses. Even the nice ones. Italian porn star and Socialist candidate Milly D’Abbraccio, however, is taking literal-mindedness to a new level.

She put her ass on her campaign posters.

You can’t make the joke about “Hillary, Obama and McCain did the same” because I pre-empted you with the first line. No, really. You can’t.

Targeting her male fan base, the veteran of Italy’s adult entertainment industry has plastered images of her derriere all around the Eternal City in a bid to win a seat in Rome’s city hall…

“People don’t want to see these politicians’ faces anymore,” she told Reuters…

“I am the derriere of the Socialist party,” she concluded.

Mind you, if I were “gifted” with a face like Milly‘s got, I might choose to go with a more attractive trademark as well. Warning: Click onward at own risk. NSFW. The closeup is NSFLunch, either. She makes Jenna Jameson look like Mary Ann.

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quiz: which church father are you?

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Pop-Up Pope

If you think about it, any answer to this except possibly “Divided by Zero” would be unexpected.

You’re St. Melito of Sardis!

You have a great love of history and liturgy. You’re attached to the traditions of the ancients, yet you recognize that the old world — great as it was — is passing away. You are loyal to the customs of your family, though you do not hesitate to call family members to account for their sins.

Find out which Church Father you are at The Way of the Fathers!

Oh, yeah, that’s me to a tee. Well, the last line is. And no, I don’t know why it insists on hanging to the left wall like a tadpole gripping the side of the pool at swim class.


The LOL of Cthulhu

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humorous pictures

I mean, what IS that? Those bottom ones look like emo piranhas posing for the poster for Silence of the Lambs. As for the top one, it looks like the guy who semi-stalked me my first year at UBC.

The frondy first fish actually looks to be some sort of sculpin, otherwise known by the Inuit, who know an ugly fish when they see one, as the Ugly Fish. They are very no-nonsense, these Innu. But it is not this kind of sculpin, which is 7% alcohol. Even fish can’t drink that much.

Strangely, neither of these species made the list of Ten Ugliest Fish.