the freakiest story I’m too tired to post

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Manta Ray

Seriously weird. Seriously, seriously freaky. Probably fake. “The one that got away” takes on new meaning in this tale of lost loves at sea…

Via (where else would you expect?) the Guardian’s Political Diary.

“Almost everybody in the fishing business has had sex with a manta at some point,” Makeburu asserts.

What!!! A manta??? You mean one of those enormous, intimidating winged things with a stinger on their tail that looks like an aquatic Batman?

Yep. After all, fisherman out on ships spend a loooonggg time at sea without ever encountering a woman, and, well, let’s face it, they can get pretty horny. No, dammit, let’s make that incredibly horny. Even desperate enough to do it with a manta. Right?

“Nah,” shrugs Makeburu. “Coastal fishermen poke them too.”

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Cock Puppets: NSFW or language police

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There’s a sexist extended (!) metaphor to be made here, but I’m just too lazy. Help yourselves. Also: see what I did there?

Oh, and: NSFW. Duh.

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normal service shall resume shortly

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but until I am fully recovered (honestly, WordPress outages, locked out of my new blog, poison spider bites, flu, my internet access goes down, and slicing my thumb open on a yogurt container, ffs! And it’s only Tuesday!) here’s a lolcat. I heer u like thoz.

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the hipster Olympics

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You’ve seen the Original…

Now see the derivative, post-postmodern, watered-down American version!

An epic battle of apathetic grandeur.

STARRING
Announcer Greg Berman – Taige Jensen (voice)
Announcer Neil Tafoya – Ryan Hunter (voice)
Reporter Conica Friesbee – Jenn Lyon
#1, Sasha Pinrod III – Taige Jensen
#2, Larken Trebek – Maggie Ross
#3, Nolan Shelby – Ryan Hunter
#4, Zac Zuro – Ryan Hall
#5, Gideon Zidoushe – Dave Powell
Referee Wally Masters – Will Connell
Square Sean Ericsson – Eric Sherertz

DISCLAIMER:
POYKPAC™ and POYKPAC Sports™ have no affiliation with Pabst Brewing Company, American Apparel, Myspace.com, cocaine, Pitchfork Media, The Elephant 6 Recording Company, Domino Recording Company Ltd, EMI, MoTown Records, or Vice Magazine Publishing Inc. All products and companies portrayed were done so satirically.

This short film is, however, a shameless tribute to Monty Python‘s “The Upperclass Twit of the Year.” All that being said: Let the lawsuits commence!

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it’s quiet. too quiet

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SwoonIt may well be quiet around here (that’s the natural aftermath of fighting off a venomous spider…you really just want to go lie down and have food and refreshing beverages brought to you) but I know somewhere that’s simply radiating vitality, having sprung fully-formed from the forehead of Coco Chanel.

Teeny Manolo, my new blog.

What are you still doing here? The other blogger has 15 welcoming comments in her introductory post. Moi? Goose egg. And I’m too proud to invent sock puppets to post paens to myself.

Barely.

It’s a children’s fashion blog with celebrity overtones (because I write for it, y’all), and if you must know I wrote it yesterday wearing stirrup pants and a Starbucks gimme t, with a wad of greasy deep conditioner in my hair, whereas today I wrote it wearing my sister’s overalls (so hot this year, and boy am I lucky) another Starbucks gimme t, and a shaker knit cardigan. I’m not eating pizza, but I should be, to get the look right.

As I said before: what are you still doing here? Go, read, enjoy, comment, blogroll, Technorati Fave and all other assorted Operation Global Media Domination furthering activities! That’s H T T P : / / T E E N Y M A N O L O . C O M, y’all!

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