bisexual bat sex demon attack prevention

Frank Frazetta's Frankenstein and Dracula 

Well, that title should draw the Buffy fans like flies.

The BBC reports that men in Tanzania live in constant fear of being attacked and raped by a bisexual demon in the form of a giant bat.

The story goes that the bat is able to transform itself into a man at night and it has also been blamed for rapes of women.

Sheikh Yahya Hussein, a prominent astrologer in Tanzania, claims that the demon is a spirit that is unleashed by witches to torment their opponents.

Naturally, in an effort to prevent such attacks, the men are sleeping rough (it being, presumably, well-known that sex-crazed bat-shaped demons have difficulty performing when they’re out in the open and prefer a more intimate setting for their acts of incubation/incubattery) and, of course, smearing themselves with lardons, which has the not-entirely-welcome effect of repelling gay bat sex demons yet attracting Mario Batali and his fingerling.

Also, no sightings of said sex-crazed bat demon have in fact been reported in Tanzania at all. So ask yourself…have any sightings been reported around here? We will pause while you check the local paper.

And since the Tanzanian protections have so far proven 100% effective at deterring sex-crazed bat demon attacks, perhaps you should start thinking about the practicalities.

Just to be safe, get out the Crisco and the hammock. After all, you don’t want anyone thinking you were asking for it.

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Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme performing Black Hole Sun

Steve! Eydie! Soundgarden!

Yes, really. Here is the immortal Vegas lounge duo Steve and Eydie putting their silken throats to that heroin-laced grunge classic Black Hole Sun, from the album Loungeapalooza. And this time no chipmunk effects. Lyrics over the jump.

And by the way, Eydie‘s got a blog.

Loungeapalooza, baby!

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Drunk jedi rumble at Leia’s party

Princess Leia is packing heat and attitude! 

This was all over the Tatooine group on Facebook last week, although I came to it via this link.

Leia‘s boozy 22nd birthday party is ruined when a lightsaber duel breaks out. The YouTube is over the jump (yes, I hate that but Dr Mike says it’s kinder to people with dialup).

Where is Banditcar when you need him?!?!?!?!

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stat tools

TIANo, I’m not talking about boring jerks who corner you in bars and flash their Technorati rankings; I’m talking about useful programs or sites to help you take your raw hit data and extract the meaning that’s lurking deep within. Stat charts are like lab charts; they can tell you a lot about the health of your relationship to your readers.

A salute to the highly organized Pete Quily for being efficient enough to write these down and post them to the Wiki while I was busy yapping.

Google Analytics

Stat Counter

Hit tail

Crazy Egg

Measure Map

103 Bees

My Blog Log

someone also mentioned   Mint

And of course, we all agreed that Alexa sucks donkey dick.

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beaver shots: old Parliamentary beaver

Third in our Beaver Shots photographic series.

You would be amazed at the really old beaver hanging around Parliament Hill. Click on to view, if that’s your thing…

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