Monthly Archives: January 2011

Octopus Video, I Love You!

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REAL demons of Cthulhu would never hula-hoop in His Scaly Presence

REAL demons of Cthulhu would never hula-hoop in His Scaly Presence

It’s no surprise to any of our regular readers that we’re big fans of all things tentacly here on the ol’ raincoaster blog, whether they be octopoid, squidderiffic, or straight-out Cthulhoid. And why? we are constantly asked.

Because we like to be on the winning side.

The great Cthulhian Revolution has begun. He has risen. Here, direct from sunken R’lyeh in the non-Euclidian Triangle, comes startling footage of the uprising. Fighting back against the loathesome bipeds who have for too long terrorized the planet, a nameless rebel seizes first the communication channel and then the weaponry.

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu arises!

Operation Global Media Domination: the WordCamp Victoria Situation

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Total Information Awareness

Scientia est Potentia

How does it go? A prophet is never esteemed in his own house…? something like that? Well, fortunately this prophet is esteemed, and that highly, in the nearby megalopolis of Victoria, British Columbia, to which I am constantly drawn and not just by the drinks that Shawn Soole cooks up for me…

though significantly by them, it must be admitted.

Indeed, I am drawn thither by the constant call to speak at WordCamps, SocialMediaCamps, IdeaWaves, and other tech-related compound words, which opportunities are seldom offered to me in my own humble burb of Vancouver, not that I am sulking about it, no sir! I mean, how could you resist this:

The Digital Revolution: Lessons from the Homeless

The Digital Divide is very real, and when the gap is bridged the results can be surprising, creative, instructive, even inspiring. By focusing on case studies of social media use among homeless individuals (taken from my personal teaching practice) this talk will provide radical new strategies for more informed and effective communications for anyone.

I ask yez.

In any case, if you want to see me speak a little closer to home, or on the other hand fear physical proximity to me while wishing to appease me with an offering of cash and/or Paypal, I’ve just announced a raft of new and returning blogging and social media workshops, some online, some IRL, over at my social media site, so go check them out.

Wonder how good I am? Ask Mike Vardy (of Eventualism, LifeAsAHuman, and DNTO):

Lorraine is likely better known by her Twitter handle (and business monicker of sorts), @raincoaster. She runs Raincoaster Media…and she really knows her stuff. She’s been doing this for a long time and has the right mix of credentials and knowledge to offer what a lot of those doing the same kind of thing can’t: nuanced comprehension.

Awwww. And for your information NO, I DID NOT HAVE TO BRIBE HIM, which is good, as I have, as we all know, no money.

But if you sign up for a course, I’ll have money! And then I can bribe YOU! Wouldn’t that be fabulous???

Sure it would. Shut up.

The Hospital Food Diet

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The Hospital Food Diet saves you tons of money!
The Hospital Food Diet saves you tons of money!

So tomorrow I’m going in to have a crop of Human Pearls™ removed. Yes, this was supposed to be BONANZA DAY, wherein I’d sell said pearls for thousands, perhaps baJILLIONS of dollars, and be set for the rest of my life. Instead, I find out that they no longer give you your gallstones back after they’ve taken them out, they crush them all and test them for cancer, thus destroying my business model and my dreams.

I even built a website for them: YouWantAPieceOfMe?

My silent partner and I are now looking into other humano-agrarian activities including but not limited to sperm farming. Don’t call us, we’ll call you. Please do not accompany your application with a sample.

Anyway, depending on what they give me for the pain, my next blogging could get rather loopy. One of the drawbacks to not having internet at home and not drinking as much is that my drunkblogging has greatly suffered lately, to the point where I’m getting complaints from my readers via email. I promise, if they don’t give me something entertaining on which to blog, I’ll at least write up that restaurant review-style comparison of all the different drugs they’ve given me. Although it’s no secret there’s a strong favorite:

Demerol better bring its A Game

Demerol better bring its A Game

Existential Crisis Gossip Links

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what is wrong with me? Nothing. It's YOU!

what is wrong with me? Nothing. It's YOU!

Well, because they’re all so fucking inferior, sillies! God put the Feebs here to be our rightful prey, and don’t you forget it!

Every man needs slaves like he needs clean air. To rule is to breathe, is it not? And even the most disenfranchised get to breathe. The lowest on the social scale have their spouses or their children. Real nobility is based on scorn, courage, and profound indifference. Albert Camus

I’m pretty sure it was Camus who said that it was the moral duty of the intelligent to repress the less intelligent, lest they rise up and take over the world; but the world ignored him, and now we have Snooki as a New York Times best-selling author and Kim Kardashian recording an album. America gets the celebrities it deserves.

Julian Assange’s new do (raincoaster) Shut UP, Emma Watson (Lolebrity) Guess the gap-toothed guy (Ayyyy) Our WORLD EXCLUSIVE lasted exactly one day (ManoloFood) Stayin’ Alive? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! (AgentBedhead) The baby’s first word was “rhinoplasty” (BusyBeeBlogger) Jimmy Buffetted! (CelebDirtyLaundry) Have YOU ever been upstaged by your own dress? (CelebritySmack) Paris Hilton shows you her puppies (CityRag) But which one is MegaShark and which is Gatoroid? (DailyStab) Never before has spandex restrained so much for so little purpose (FitFabCeleb) Gag (GirlsTalkinSmack) So she was single in the sense that nobody would be seen with her? (HaveUHeard) Jon Cryer is no different from anybody else (INeedMyFix) Sad, gender-confused Britney (PoorBritney) The CougarTown drinking game! (SeriouslyOMG)

And now, here’s your thematically-appropriate musical unicorn chaser, performed by everyone’s favorite lower primates, the Monkees:

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Snow is TOO beautiful. But gross.

Snow is TOO beautiful. But gross.

Julian Assange’s New Do!

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Julian Assange gets an updo!

Julian Assange gets an updo!

Love the new look, baby. Don’t worry about hiding out from The Law; with a ‘do like that, ain’t nobody gonna be looking at your face anyway.

Many thanks to the lovely and apparently multi-multi-talented GDGeek, whose resume now extents past graphic design into hairdressing and even espionage (second-hand)!

And this looks like as good a time as any to get rid of another link dump. Sorry (not really) for the lack of new posts; I’ve been off speaking at WordCamp Victoria and setting up the new schedule for my social media workshops (there’s a special discount code for up to $100 off if you register by noon Monday; ie tomorrow).

Saint Bill of Murray (Lolebrity)

Michael Douglas photobomb! (raincoaster)

Julian Assange is the greatest photoshop opportunity of our time (Ayyyy)

Cheese it! That’s too expensive! (Manolofood)

Katie Holmes and the World’s Ugliest Pants (AgentBedhead)

But did he put it on her FINGER? (AmyGrindhouse)

Are We There Yet contest (BusyBeeBlogger)

Jennifer Aniston pulls a Bridget Jones (CeleBitchy)

Palin putting it around? (CelebDirtyLaundry)

I see dumb people. They don’t know they’re dumb (CelebritySmack)

Annalynne McCord gives a puppy a helping hand (CityRag)

This choice of Catwoman is nuts! (DailyStab)

You can get arrested for just acting weird? (FitFabCeleb)

Xtina is X-ed out in someone else’s bed (GirlsTalkinSmack)

P!nk is F!!!ing Perfect (HaveUHeard)

Rachel Zoe is unapologetically elasticized (INeedMyFix)

Spears for Sears? (PoorBritney)

Prince + Madonna = Tru Luv 4 eva (PopBytes)

David Spade is OLD: FACT of life (SeriouslyOMG)