Category Archives: Allegory

Damn Beaver Dam Beaver Snatcher Snatched

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Beaver alert! Don't let him get too close!

Lodged at the jail till further notice. From the Fond du Lac Reporter, via Fark.

A 27-year-old Beaver Dam man charged with groping two Beaver Dam police officers has been bound over for trial.

Benjamin L. Greenleaf faces three counts of felony bail-jumping, three misdemeanor counts of fourth-degree sexual assault and three counts of disorderly conduct stemming from two incidents during a party on Dec. 8 at a Beaver Dam residence.

It’s a little-known fact that “Fond du Lac” actually translates as “Lake of Fondlers,” a reference to the original Ojibway name for the area, “Ophissurgr Oper,” meaning “place where I totally felt up the Great Beaver.”

pic o’ the day: Gramma’s got a gun!

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Gramma's got a gun! Everybody duck!

For those of you unfamiliar with the raincoaster gene pool, here is an introduction.

This is my grandmother, age ninety-something and legally blind in both eyes for more than ten years, blind in one eye since D-Day, enjoying an afternoon’s shooting out at my cousin’s house. That is my cousin helping her hold up the rifle. The family that slays together stays together.

Note, if you will, that the propane tank is between the muzzle of the gun and the turkeys in the next field she is aiming for! Let it not be said that we are a race of namby-pamby risk hedgers.

THEY ARE WATCHING!

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The military/industrial complex loves me, this I know, for Tony Blair tells me so. Terrorists to him belong: they are weak but he is strong.

Sound familiar?

THEY are watching!

Look familiar?

Never Forget

Never forget: we once walked on our own two feet instead of on our knees.

best presents in history: dick in a box and box in a box

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Justin Timberlake, something tells me you just might get lucky…and this time, with a girl who can sing, too! Here are the best-matched Christmas presents since O. Henry‘s great short story, Gift of the Magi.

This is a video response to Timberlake’s SNL video Dick in a Box, which you can see in its uncensored glory here. “Backstage at the CMA’s,” I mean, WTF???

And now, Box in a Box:

Show me the luv at the Bloggie Awards, people!

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reddit: Best presents ever: Dick in a box and Box in a box
fark: Best presents ever: Dick in a box and Box in a box
Technorati me!

Japanese porn rice

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Cougar rice!

I suppose the accurate English translation would be Cougar Rice.

Japanprobe reports that a Japanese porn company has just released a “100% adult” rice called “Jukujo Rice,” jukujo being the Japanese word for a Mrs. Robinson-type sexy older woman character in a porn flick.

The rice is produced by Soft On Demand, one of Japan’s biggest porn companies, and it’s packaging says that it is “100% Adult” rice. It looks like you also have to be over 18 to purchase it…

I can see the marketing plan now: somewhere in a tawdry garret apartment an underpaid screenwriter is banging out a sushi delivery boy porn script; the movie will feature Nicolette Sheridan and some overendowed and underdiscriminating Japanese guy yet to be cast. Working title: Special Sauce.

Show me the luv at the Bloggie Awards, people!

del.icio.us: Japanese porn rice
blinklist: Japanese porn rice
Digg it: Japanese porn rice
ma.gnolia: Best presents ever: Japanese porn rice
Stumble it: Japanese porn rice
simpy: Japanese porn rice
newsvine: Japanese porn rice
reddit: Japanese porn rice
fark: Japanese porn rice
Technorati me!