Category Archives: Allegory

quiz: which pet are you?

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I guess “Squid” wasn’t a category? And the last line rings totally false: as if most people are smarter than monkeys! Stolen from max.


You Would Be a Pet Monkey


Smart and unbridled, you are truly unpredictable… and a little crazy.

You’re very playful and funny, but you’re also moody and aggressive.

You’re have the personality of a wild animal, which is both scary and entertaining.Why you would make a great pet: You’re very smart and you know how to charm people

Why you would make a bad pet: When you don’t get your way, you’re a bit of a monster

What you would love about being a monkey: Playing interesting games with humans

What you would hate about being a monkey: Not being quite smart enough to be a human!

What Kind of Pet Would You Be?

coming soon

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uh, blog content.

Blowing My CoverYesterday I unplugged for the entire day and read the only example of chick lit ever to fully engross me: the quite non-fictional Lindsay Moran‘s Blowing My Cover: My Life as a CIA Spy.

And it occurred to me: given that most women buy their own perfume, rather than leave it to some guy, why are there no perfumes that are marketed using the superhero archetype? Or the superagent one? I would totally buy something that made me feel like Supergirl or Emma Peel; in fact, that’s how I choose perfumes: by balancing alluring qualities with kickass ones, which is how I ended up with Chanel #19, Allure, and (in my dreams) Midnight Poison, DKNY Red, and Stella McCartney, all of which can be described as kickass yet fuckable.

Is it related that today I am wearing my cape? I should totally make an indoor cape, for blogging, just to put myself in the right mindset. Why should imaginary people have all the fun?

Seriously.

Also, it keeps the tentacles warm.

my dream house: the floorplan

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It should be Lambos, not Ferraris, but otherwise this sounds pretty good. The only problem is, it seems to give everyone pretty much the same result.

From Nag on the Lake, via Mastercowfish.

Your home is a

Rough Muse’s Mansion

Your kitchen is only used when the weather won’t permit barbecuing. There’s a pantry stocked with beef jerky. Oh, and deer jerky. Your master bedroom has a bedside table with a pad for writing down late-night inspirations. Your study has a locked plexiglass gun case filled with stuff that would make the A-Team jealous. And Al Qaeda. One of your garages holds your collection of ferraris, and is measured in acreage.Your home also includes a gallery of your favorite works — the originals, of course. Your guests enjoy your animatronic replica of the cantina at Mos Eisley. Outside is your hedge maze and gardens, meticulously tended by a team of world-class botanists.Below is a snippet of the blueprints:

Find YOUR Dream House!

token squid

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from collecting tokens.

Squid signs. So hot right now.

Squid question mark

Will it Blend: Chuck Norris edition

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“There are only two kinds of bad guys. Live bad guys, and the ones who’ve met Chuck Norris.”

This has got to be the single best blender marketing video the universe has ever witnessed, and if you doubt it, click for yourselves.

We’ve really been struggling to find something that could challenge the Total Blender’s blending capabilities. What could we blend that’s stronger than anything we’ve ever blended?
Then it hit us like a roundhouse kick to the face…Chuck Norris!

Hat-tip to Stiletto, for the inspiration to post it.