the consolations of a gossip blogger

We at the ol’ raincoaster blog are experiencing several layers of technical difficulty, some, but not all, relating to our roomie’s streaming video addiction. Tomorrow we shall pull plugs or go out and deal with the public (gasp!) until this thing works better. In the meantime, here’s something I found while doing my “soul-killing” day job as a gossip blog link wrangler. If there’s a beefcake shot you’d prefer to see (Shia Leboef, Colin Farrell, whoever) drop your requests in the comments. I’ll do my best, although I draw the line at Federline. I’m so, so tired of him making sock puppet comments.

Welcome back, my Butterscotch Stallion.

Owen Wilson

Celebrity Gossip: the roundup!

Garbo

Because I have so many blogs, and because I am yea, very easily confused, forsooth, I wrote a post for Ayyyy.com which place does, in fact and in actuality, pay me to read gossip blogs (NOT kidding. Life is a cabaret, old chum) and say “go look at that…now go look at this…now look at that” etc.

Yes, I am getting paid to read gossip blogs.

My sister is going to eat her lips when she reads that.

In any case, here’s the post that was going to put food on my table this month, until I remembered that I’m only supposed to do this during the week. And it’s the weekend. And I thought, bugger it, I can at least feed the ol’ raincoaster blog with it.

Mindy McCready behind bars, not under them this time (PerezHilton)

Viggo Mortensen‘s computer-enhanced nude scene (Agent Bedhead)

Alyssa Milano: Who’s the Sportsblogger? (Daily Stab)

The Celebrity Cover Corral (Celebrity Smack)

Katie Holmes is no Richard Avedon (I’m Not Obsessed)

OJ Simpson is looking for the real burglars (Holy Candy)

Christina Aguilera visited by the Titty Fairy (Wizbang Pop)

Carmen Electra bringing the respectable back? (Hollywood Tuna)

Angelina Jolie rocks the Mother of the Bride look (Just Jared)

Lindsay Lohan is delusional (and easy) (A Socialite’s Life)

Colin Farrell‘s homeless shopping spree (Defamer)

Ryan Gosling loves his costar (Jezebel)

Larry Birkhead‘s graveside photo-op (Mollygood)

Amy Winehouse before the wine (Dlisted)

Paula Abdul has something you don’t…besides memories of sex with Emilio Estevez (Evil Beet)

Prince is suing…YOU! (CeleBitchy)

Well, this should be good for hits.

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Chop-Chop

The following is, apparently, and example of something I am NOT supposed to post on my new blog. Who saw that coming?

Canadian

Decapitated kid much better now!

Hey, it takes a lot to stop a Canuck! In this case, having had his head chopped off back in July hasn’t stopped 11-year-old Ryan Ooms of Saskatoon from starting school right on time.

Ryan Ooms EMTsOoms spent just 2 1/2 weeks in a hospital where doctors fused the vertebrae and inserted titanium pins and rods. On Aug. 23, five weeks after the July 17 accident, Ooms and his family paid an unexpected visit to the firehall to thank his rescuers.”When he walked in I recognized him but there was this disbelief,” said McNair. “His recovery rate has been phenomenal.”

McNair was one of the first EMTs on the scene of the accident. He helped paramedics remove Ooms from the crushed minivan then stayed at the boy’s side in the ambulance.

Once Ooms was in the care of trauma specialists, McNair thought of the boy’s parents being told about their son.

But there was Ooms, on Aug. 23, smiling and cracking jokes and climbing on the fire trucks. The only indication of his injury was a brace hugging his wounded and tender neck, keeping it steady.

You’d better believe this kid has a patron saint (is it Nearly Headless Nick?). Yes, us Canadians are a fearsome breed, seemingly descended from the unhallowed love match of Odin and Laura Secord, with a bit of Sasquatch thrown in there for good measure. Given that decapitation has hardly slowed this Canuck down, what do you imagine it would take to stop Celine Dion?

Really, tell me. The sooner the better; I hear Mariah Carey’s offering cash.

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I have no further comment

The battle for the living room heats up

Chris Crocker: You fuck with Britney, you deal with ME!

It’s rare, even in our celebrity-obsessed culture, to find an expression of fandom that is pure, hearfelt, honest, tragic, tearful and absolutely hilarious.

But I found one!

via Defamer, but I woulda found it anyway.

Chris Crocker is a STAR, bitches, a STAR!

UPDATE:

This video its own tribute fragrance now.

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