Welcome back, Possums, to the Zoolander and Friends hour. As you can see we’re continuing our unspecified, guess-if-you-can arbitrary narrative framing device series. First we were Happy, then we were Heavy Metal. Now, Sparky. Possibly even electric! Like that one annoying light switch that hums angrily and occasionally snaps at you when you turn it on.
And you, Dear Readers, turn me on.
Oh, oops. Sorry, wrong video. This is the one with our ensemble cast, even if they’re not here yet, fifteen minutes into the scheduled briefing. Lyrics SOMEWHAT different from the above, and, honestly, could really use a good backbeat to give it a bit more energy. Although it turns out that today’s briefing DOES have a lot of zip.
And our briefing cards are here and NO I didn’t get you a new one because I didn’t expect another briefing this week, silly me.
Welcome to the second in our new series of Mystery Wrapped In A Riddle Though Otherwise Completely Arbitrary Narrative Framing Devices. Guess the over-arching theme and win a completely imaginary prize. Why?
It’s been A Year, Possums. It’s been a year.
The series will be ongoing till it’s over, which, who knows? There is some chaos in scheduling briefings lately, what with them getting shunted aside for Any Old Meeting, and there is some chaos in communicating the schedules, what with the Prime Minister’s website, where he usually broadcasts his schedule a day in advance, looking like it’s hidden behind a lead shield inside a faraday cage recently:
Still looks like that on Chrome, too. What’s he got against Google, I wonder? Whoever designed this website is clearly involved in this product launch. We are unsure if the underwear is, like the car, made of an assortment of metals, heavy and otherwise, and composites. And that reminds me, or I mean us, wht ARE composites composed of?
Anyhoodle, here we are and here we go, with the video:
And our cards, and NO I didn’t get you a new one yet. Sorry! I should bang my head against a wall or something.
We’re back, possums! And, after skipping Tuesday’s briefing entirely in favour of a virtual meeting with Biden (Trudeau) and dialing in to liveblog the Corey Hurren sentencing hearing (your humble blogger), very happy to be back. Well, I am anyway. No idea how Trudeau feels except that his palpable glee every time he mentions working with Biden instead of “He Who Must Not Be Named” makes me think he’d actively pay to spend eight hours a day in meetings with Biden. Yes, Doug Ford, you have been well and truly Thrown Over For Another Man. #RIPBromance
Back at our panel-style Covid briefings, back at Room 200 of the John A. MacDonald Building, which I at least find amusing because the use of the middle initial indicates that the federal government is worried you might mistake this building for another, named after some other John MacDonald. Perhaps a florist, or a goat farmer, or orthodontist. All honourable professions, to be sure. Better safe than sorry, that’s our federal government.
Which is now, by my count, seven minutes late to its Covid briefing in the building named after the first prime minister. He used to get through a bottle of sherry a day, plus assorted spirits and other potions. Like, a bottle of 14% abv sherry was his baseline. How did he keep his girlish figure, that’s what I want to know. A diet where you can put away a bottle of sherry a day and stay slim: that would make MANY people happy.
Anyhoodle, here is our video and our bingo cards, with 423 watching:
On Parliament Hill, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau discusses the federal government’s response to the ongoing COVID-19 (coronavirus disease) pandemic. He is joined by federal ministers Patty Hajdu (health), Anita Anand (public services and procurement), and Dominic LeBlanc (intergovernmental affairs), as well as Major-General Dany Fortin (vice president of logistics and operations at the Public Health Agency of Canada), Dr. Theresa Tam, Canada’s chief public health officer, and Dr. Howard Njoo, deputy chief public health officer. They discuss Health Canada’s authorization of the use of the AstraZeneca COVID-19 vaccine.
Hurren’s original charges, all 22 of them, had been filed by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police’s Integrated National Security Enforcement Team, or INSET, which is a counterterrorism unit. Over the course of almost a year of discussions, fourteen of the charges including the threat to Trudeau disappeared, leaving just seven weapons charges and the “mischief” for ramming his truck through the (quite substantial) iron gate.
From July 3, the day after the attack:
After a slight, apparently Zoom-tech-related delay, the hearing got underway. Yes, we’ve been in a pandemic for a year now and everywhere should be pretty fluent in Zooming, but we’re talking about a government institution that still accepts faxes. We’re lucky they don’t still mandate wigs. Before we start, I find it interesting to note that the prosecutor, ie the Crown Attorney in Canadian Parlance, has given public presentations on trauma-informed prosecutions.
Here are my livetweets. Editorial comments will be added in later in italics.
Space may be flat, but there’s no reason our politics should be, possums. Welcome to today’s slightly off-centre, possibly infinite, arguably curved Covid-19 Briefing Bingo aka The Zoolander Show, coming to you live from yet another anonymous briefing room somewhere in downtown Ottawa.
Room 200 Sir John A. Macdonald Building 144 Wellington Street
Although he, apparently, is not.
Whyyyyyyyy does the Canadian government love QR codes so much? Are they stuck in 2011 forever? They’ve got them prominently displayed on the backs of chairs at the briefing, but they’re out of focus so none of the viewers can click on them.
Meanwhile, on Twitter things are getting interesting. wHaT cOuLd PoSsiBly gO WrOnG?
Is Doug Ford’s final form a toxin? Yeah, why should it be any different, eh?
513 watching the CPAC video, because by now everyone knows he’s always late.
And your bingo cards are here and yes, I forgot to get you a new one. The old ones are still plenty relevant, as I was reminded at 3am last night when I got into an argument about Uighurs on Twitter (they’ve been A Thing at these briefings for months, possums, it’s not like Trudeau has shied away from discussing the issue). But oh yes, we were talking about the cards: