Britney’s Sex Tape and Post Odds

The Gambler

The deal is this, although Metro doesn’t know the deal. At one time he did, but that was at least six beers ago, and now he knows nothing other than what I tell him and that includes original additions to the Cthulhu Mythos, to which he furrows his brow and goes…uh…wait…hold on…and I hand him another beer and objections are quickly forgotten.

There was also an attempt by his wife to add aliens and various other restrictions to the blog posts, but they are hereby overruled.

Anyway, the deal is that after drinking beer throughout the viewing of Two Days in the Valley, Tapeheads, and Phil the Alien, we would blog, and we would go hit-to-hit on brand, spanking new posts.

And as you know I’m all about the hits.

Okay, 2:20 in the morning is not the best time to get hits, but there are worse.

Reading his post, which he finished at great apparent effort while I answered four comments and three questions in the technical help forum, googled the image of a loser, uploaded it to Photobucket, and worked on this post, it appears that he thinks the issue is simple coherence, which any fool knows a drunk can achieve simply by imitating Hemingway.

And so I ask you to evaluate Metro’s post either in light of total hits OR in light of its ability to evoke Hemingway.

He’s got some 80’s dreck music playing, so I’ve cranked up the Mylene Farmer Megamix. Thank god for YouTube; it’s impossible to find MP3’s in this world, but you can always find YouTubes.

And since I titled this post so specifically, we can be certain that it will draw at least a finite number of readers. Deluded, misguided readers, it is true. But readers nonetheless.

Howdy, y’all!

My magpie fascination

A random thought…

I looked up from the computer to notice that the bamboo, which grows four feet over the balcony, which is twelve feet from the ground, was sparkling.

Sparkling.

And me wuvs me some sparklitude. It’s the bane of my existence, this ban on sequins before 5pm; isn’t daylight when they would be shown to full advantage?

It’s raining. And the light from the amber spotlight on the parking lot behind the Chinese Retirement Home reflects off the leaves, which dance when the rain hits them, hence the sparklitude. There are consolations to living in “the bad part of town.”

Now, I just need the firecrackers to start.

Pony Pride

This is awesome. It is frightening. It is hilarious. But the comments on the YouTube page are the best of all: not only are her fellow pony collectors cheering her on for being “an individual” just like them, they’re trashing and multi-downvoting everyone who doesn’t believe exactly as they do. Fandom at its best, for sure.

I’ve got no particular issue with The Pony Lady here, except that the He-Man costume really isn’t doing her any favours, and she makes the word “pony” sound absolutely filthy when she says it; it’s the vicious, defensive, groupthinking, happyclownfaced community that I have a problem with. Hey, maybe they’ll comment!

Stolen from Bridlepath.

Fundraiser for Trevor Greene tonight!

Cross-posted from runningthroughrain

Trevor Greene Save the date for No Turning Back – A Fundraiser For Trevor Greene

Date: Wednesday September 26

Time: Doors open: 8pm,

Show starts: 9pm – 12am

MC: Todd Battis CTV News Reporter

Band: So Tight Band & Brickhouse the Band

Place: The Yale Hotel – 1300 Granville Street

Price: $20

On September 26 we are gathering together at The Yale Hotel for a

fundraiser to assist Trevor, Debbie and Grace on their miraculous

healing journey. Captain Greene was attacked from behind and struck with

a taliban axe on March 4, 2006 while sitting in a peaceful Shura

discussing how to bring clean drinking water and basic medical care and

education to the women and children of Afghanistan. His survival has

been called a miracle in the medical profession as he presently

undergoes extensive rehabilitation to speak and to reconnect his brain

and muscles in order to regain function over his entire body. Hosted by

Master of Ceremonies and CTV West Coast News Reporter Todd Battis, the

entertainment line up will feature the infectious sounds of the SoTight

Band (www.thesotightband.com) and Brickhouse

(www.brickhousetheband.com). Tickets to No Turning Back – A Fundraiser

for Captain Trevor Greene are $20 in advance or at the door. Doors open

at 8pm. Show time begins at 9pm. Price of admission includes a silent

auction, 50/50 draws and raffle items. Proceeds from this fundraiser

will go to the Captain Trevor Greene Trust Fund.

Items for door prize, raffle draw and silent auction include two flights

tickets and accommodation to La Penita Mexico, wellness gift package,

one room night in an executive suite and dinner for two, dinner for

four, dinner for two, brunch for two, wine gift basket, chocolate gift

basket and much much more.

Companies that have generously donated are: Casita de la Penita,

Signature Vacations, Foundation for Integrated Health, Fairmont Hotel

Vancouver, Fairmont Waterfront Hotel, Sylvia Hotel, Century Plaza,

Brockmann’s Chocolate, Safeway, The Yale Hotel, In Motion Lotion, Cactus

Club, T tea room and merchant, Terra Bread, Liberty Wine Merchants, The

Atlantic Trap & Gill and Tamsen Ogden Photography.

If you can’t make it to the fundraiser but would still like to

participate following is the trust fund information: Captain Trevor

Greene Trust Fund, CIBC Account #39-31137 (Bank 010,Transit 00500).

You can conveniently purchase a ticket using your credit card through

paypal: http://www.eventbrite.com/event/71765653 . If you do your

tickets will be kept at the door the night of the event.

For more information you can contact Valerie Gibbs by phone at

604.992.4697 or via email at vcg at sfu.ca.

For more information on Trevor here is a few links:

The Globe and Mail’s story

Hazel’s story

My story

Eel City, a wriggle on the wild side

So Judy was here visiting. It was easy to tell it was Judy when she walked into the train station, because there is, in my wide experience (and surely, few experiencers can have had a wider one, what with me having met in meatspace something over 100 people whom I first met online) a certain expression that people have when they’re away from home and meeting up for the first time with some other cybernaut who, come to think of it and they do and BOY do they look worried when they realize this, they haven’t the faintest idea what they look like. And likewise.

MoosehatSo, I was looking for a tall American brunette, and she was looking for a short Canadian blonde with a Moosehat sticker from the Northern Voice blogging conference, and although we are not exactly a dime a dozen, even in the train station, nevertheless the situation is enough to give one pause.

She paused.

With that certain look on her face. That alright now I can figure this out. I can handle this. If she turns out to be a freak there are plenty of people around who can call the cops, and I can always get another train back home look.

And I tried not to have my oh, I’ve seen that look before, newbie look on my face although it must be said that of all the emotions, smugness comes perhaps most easily to me, even when it’s not appropriate, but then when has the fear of looking like a idjut ever stopped me, eh? I ask yez.

And we had a lovely time. I made sure to take her by the library and Canada Place and the Marine building and other suchlike architectural wonders, of which it must be said that Vancouver has very few but as long as nobody tells her different and who’s to do that, she’ll never know the place isn’t larded with gems, eh?

And we went patio-ing. Yes, it’s a verb here. We do a lot of patioing in BC, although we also do a lot of other social things, too, which you can tell from the fact that Whistler has its own strain of genital warts, but we didn’t do any of that.

Especially not on the patio. Hell, it wasn’t the Cambie!

But as we were on the patio, enjoying our refreshing beverages and making amusing comments about some kind of corporate teambuilding exercise which apparently involved vast herds of nerdy-looking men in matching t-shirts running at speed back and forth through the restaurant, it became apparent that Judy was working up her courage. Finally, after an internal struggle and a moment of distracted yet anticipatory silence, it came out.

“So…what is it with you and squid?”

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