Category Archives: capitalism

how to talk your parents into getting you a pony for Christmas

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Corporate Santa says Ho, Ho, Ho, where's my cheque?

 

Let me know if this works; Gawd knows I tried for years unsuccessfully, but then I didn’t have the benefit of these half-dozen irresistable pony pitchin’ tips! Stolen from Bridlepath.

 

Your parents will probably remember the time you begged for a hamster, and then after a few weeks it sat ignored on your bookshelf with a smelly cage. You have to understand that having a horse isn’t all fun; sometimes it’s dirty, frustrating, and just plain hard work. Are you sure you want a horse?

Your Long Term Project

Even if you are sure you want a horse you probably won’t be able to convince your parents overnight, or even in a week. It may take months for them to decide to buy you a horse.

But don’t give up. Many people have to wait until they are in their 30’s, 40’s or even longer before they get their first horse. Convincing your parents to let you have a horse may be a long term project. You may have to prove you are committed and you might have to make some compromises and sacrifices…

And so on, all responsible-like. Not a word about getting blackmail photos or hiding their cigarettes. But if these tips fail, try those two. In my experience you can get almost anything that way.

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Technorati me!

born to be…

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a venture capitalist??? Someone better sit my friends down for this, because the shock just might kill them. I am, according to this test, a born VC. Well hell, spending other people’s money? That’s a dream job if you ask me!

Got to the test via engtech, whom I owe a dinner if I get scooped by some big firm as a result of this incredible aptitude of mine. I said I’d buy him a Segway too, but now he thinks I’m trying to kill him. Honestly! As if I’d do something like that; I already know Technorati rankings cannot be bequeathed, because I looked it up.

For a research project. Totally.

Anyway, Guy Kawasaki, who is a man who is presumed to know something about venture capital, as he’s been in the business twenty years and hasn’t been bankrupted or incarcerated yet, is the fellow who came up with the test, and even should this prove to be as bullshit as the “Which My Little Pony Are You?” quizzes on LiveJournal (the Dangerous one, mothafucka!) it is guaranteed to be entertaining. Take the test here.

engtech got 27; I've got a lock on this job. Guy, baby, call me!In any case, here’s what my little internet graduation plaque with honors or honours or cum or laudanum or whatever it is would look like, if it were in fact the result I got and not the one engtech (who can make screencaps and all that tech shit, yo) did, and it said 35 instead of 27, yo. And if it also said that the big VCs were hangin’ on the telephone, waiting for their life-affirming contact from moi.

If only I could afford a long-distance call!

Oh, and in case you were wondering:

 


Which Fucked up “My Little Pony” are you?

 

You are BITCH-QUEEN Pony!
[Quel suprise!]

Take this quiz!

 

 

Quizilla |
Join

 

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

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Technorati me!

the return of Mad V

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It’s pretty much unheard-of that I post a video before I even load it up to watch, but, ladies and gentlemen (and Metro) Mad V is back (from the ashes of corporate sponsorship), with a call to arms!

Or hands, as the case may be!

This is an invitation, to make a stand, to make a statement, to make a difference.

Write something, anything, on your hand and share it with the world.
What will you choose to write?

Join in
Be part of something
Post your response now

-Closing date 4th Dec 06

au revoir, Mad V: incorporated, but not forgotten

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So whatever conglomerate bought him out has been unable to get a single goddam thing done since May of this year. Fine. I don’t particularly take to heart a failure to capitalize on something. All that bugs me is that Mad V has been off the air, so to speak (and it is now no more than a metaphor) since May. And Mad V, in fact, rocks.

Mad V should be let loose to thrill the people; did you buy him just to put him on ice? What are you, some kind of gravitational monopolists or something? Who would prevent this man from doing his thing? If you didn’t know how you could use his thing, why did you buy him?

Any slave trader would have slapped you silly for that.

The Farewell Performance:

It’s been a great few weeks for me. What started off as a joke turned into a connection with so many people. After 4 weeks of going viral across the internet I’ve just signed a contract with a TV production company, and as a result, there can be no more MadV on YouTube.
I just wanted to say ‘goodbye’ in a meaningful way…
I can’t thank the fans enough – all the comments, the tributes, the dedication – you guys really are awesome.
I’ve learned a lot, and I hope some of you have too. It’s been fun along the way. If I could leave just one idea – it would be this:
We are all part of this world, so let’s respect one another. If you gotta be sayin something, say it nice. Don’t let the haters stand in your way. I didn’t. True!I’m off to new and brighter things.
Thankyou YouTube for creating the platform we can all dive off. Keep your chin up
Always
Thaniel (aka MadV)

Linkie o’ the Day: Beautiful Agony

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Beautiful Agony 1It’s amazing what you find clicking on “most recently updated” on WordPress. It tends to be more interesting than the “Most popular” which, this week, is Scoble-iffic as always, with strong showings by Dead Raj Kumar and MIT marathoners. BFD! as we say on the W3! By clicking on “Most Recently Updated” blogs, I’ve turned a computer animator on to Canuck Immortal Windsor McKay, found something that will get the nasty red mildew out of my bathroom (is it related to red tide? Apparently yes!) and now, have come (or is that “cum”?) across Beautiful Agony, the least nekkid, most interesting sex site I’ve ever seen.

Beautiful Agony is dedicated to the beauty of Beautiful Agony 3human orgasm. This may be the most erotic thing you have ever seen, yet the only nudity it contains is from the neck up. That’s where people are truly naked.

The videos were made in private by the contributor (and sometimes their partner). We don’t know what they’re doing, or how they are doing it, we just know it’s real and it’s sexy as hell. Make your ears blush by putting on your headphones and turning the sound to eleven.

Beautiful Agony 2Yes, there are free samples. Look for the ones with the red borders and the text underneath that says ‘free sample’.

New agony comes five times per week (at least).

Note to micromanagers everywhere: this must be your spiritual home, because at this very moment, up at the top of the page, it quite clearly says, in large grey-on-white-eurostile lettering, NEXT VIDEO DUE 2 HOURS – 54 MINUTES. I mean, are these people on some kind of a production schedule? Excusing themselves from the dinner table because they’re due “on camera?” The mind boggles. The gonads boggle also, quite an interesting sensation. And since the site isn’t dedicated to filming sex as such, just filming the successful climax (sorry) to Gasmquest, and since we all have our good nights and our off nights, it must be asked:

How do they KNOW??????

Beautiful Agony 4Hey, is that Clay Aiken? And really, who leaves their glasses on? Is that woman a German graphic designer or something? If this is all too much for you, there’s always Jean Michel Jarre’s Beautiful Agony. Slightly different, and almost free!