Category Archives: cars

Lambo whammo!

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Plane vs car: guess who wins!

Countach

Now, it’s not really clear from the reporter’s description here, but it appears that a Cessna 172 (a delightful little plane, kind of the woody wagon of airplanes) full of FBI agents was taxiing to its hanger in Aurora, Oregon, when it collided with a Lamborghini Countach (an exquisite car, once the greatest performance vehicle in the world and still a work of art, although not so much after the accident) full of a cranky 69-year-old man, which happened to be crossing its path at speed.

A senior citizen playing chicken with a plane full of Feds. Whatever happened to simply plowing into the farmer’s market?

Should you be possessed of such a vehicle, this is one maneuver we do not recommend, for obvious reasons. Please make a note of it; we do not want to have to repeat ourselves.

Not only does the Countach sell for around $90,000 (the Cessna is less than 40k) {and btw what kind of low-rent spellchecker is this in Firefox that doesn’t know the word Countach, I mean like seriously) but it can apparently sustain enough damage that the repair bill totals more than the price of the car.

From OregonLive:

…One of the agents wrote in a report filed with the NTSB that the plane was “moving down the taxiway about to enter our hangar area, moving at about a fast walk and crossing a narrow inner taxiway perpendicular to us when the aircraft crunched to a sudden stop.

“Out the left side window of the aircraft I saw a small black sports car dart from under the prop moving to my left, gushing fluid,” the unidentified agent wrote.

Treit, a licensed pilot, says he had the right of way and that the pilot should have spotted him.

Treit, who lives in Aurora and owns a business at the small airport, this month filed a lawsuit against the U.S. government, accusing the pilots of negligence. He is asking for $105,500 in damages.

I’m assuming the extra fifteen thousand is for his wounded dignity, but I must ask: just exactly how much dignity does a litigious 69-year-old man in a Countach actually possess?

UPDATE: Hey Farkers! I’m not 100% sure this one in the picture is the car, but it is the right year, the right colour, and it was wrecked around the same time, in the US. There aren’t that many of these babies around, so I’m betting this is the one. Probably the guys at WreckedExotics.com can help settle things. Click on the pic to go to its home page.

The car was moving at speed from right to left, and essentially tried to dart in front of the plane, which was moving about 5mph. At the risk of repeating myself, Do. Not. Do. This. Also: Planes have right-of-way on taxiways.

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Vatican unveils new Commandments!

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PopeAnd a new, bolder technique for reconciling God and Man: go ahead and tell them we just make shit up.

It’s great to see the ancient layers of pretence completely stripped away like that, freshened as by sandblasting, and the doctrines presenting their renewed, if pitted, faces to the adoring hordes.

Who needs God anymore? Certainly not the Vatican; it is entirely able to issue its own commandments at any time. We at the ol’ raincoaster blog look forward to the Ten Commandments of Wii, the Ten Commandments of Skateboarding, the Ten Commandments of Using the Remote in Company, etc, etc. Plenty to work on here, if you don’t acknowledge Miss Manners as your personal savior (as we do).

From the AP.

The “Drivers’ Ten Commandments,” as listed by the document, are:

1. You shall not kill.

2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.

4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.

7. Support the families of accident victims.

8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.

9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.

10. Feel responsible toward others.

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Just exactly why the Batmobile sucks

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Batmobile

There is nothing that cannot be redeemed by the love of a true fan; nothing, that is, except, apparently, the Batmobile!

And we’re not even talking about the penile one from those gay movies with the molded rubber nipple suits. Even the classic Batmobile sucked ass, apparently.

And here’s why:

What a fucking hassle it must be for Batman to get around.

He has two primary modes of transportation: swinging from gothic clock towers on his Batline, and cruising around Gotham in the Batmobile. Sure, he’s got a Batwing and a Batjet and a Batcopter and even a Bat-Segway, but mostly Batman relies on his ride to get from point A to point B.

Now, the Batmobile is a seriously tricked-out car, and you can’t blame the guy for wanting to drive it, but it must be a serious pain in the ass dealing with the Batmobile every night.

As anyone who lives in or near a big North American city knows, urban driving can be a maddening experience. Heavy traffic, one-way streets, swerving buses, crazy-ass taxi drivers, potholes, inadequate signage, kamikaze bike messengers, oblivious pedestrians – don’t even get me going about parking. The shit is hard enough to deal with in a normal city in a normal car. Now just imagine trying to navigate Gotham City’s rat nest of streets and alleys in an extra-wide custom hot rod with a wonky torque converter and limited visibility.

——”If Batman wants to change lanes, you will let him into your lane.”——

Okay, the actual driving itself would probably not be an issue, as Batman probably has advanced defensive driving skills and an intimate knowledge of the street layout of Gotham. Plus, people would get the hell out of the Batmobile’s way. If Batman wants to change lanes, you will let him into your lane.

But what about parking? Can that thing even fit into a standard parking spot? Have you ever tried to parallel park a car that has huge scalloped bat wings on the back while wearing a rubber cowl that prevents you from moving your neck more than five degrees in any direction? I want to see a director’s cut of Tim Burton’s Batman where Michael Keaton tries to slide that beast into a parking spot without scraping the curb or bumping into another car. Now that would be some amazing shit.

and so on, at length. My theory is that he just tucks Alfred in the trunk (it has one, right? or else where do the badguys stuff Robin when they kidnap him and steal the car?) and lets him out when he starts hoofing it, “Here’s the keys Alfred, I’ll be back in twenty minutes, have the Chardonnay chilled,” or whatever.

That makes total sense to me.

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news flash: Paris Hilton is not appealing

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Paris in Prison 

But we knew that anyway. The ass goiter has always bothered me, personally. CNN agrees: Paris Hilton is un-appealing.

Paris Hilton won’t appeal the 45-day jail term she was sentenced to earlier this month for violating probation, according to court documents filed Thursday.

A lawyer for the 26-year-old socialite notified Los Angeles Count Superior Court that she is abandoning her appeal, said court spokeswoman Katherine Roberts.

Hilton was ordered earlier this month to report to jail by June 5 for violating the terms of her probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case.

Hilton initially called the sentence unfair, and lawyers representing her filed a notice to appeal the sentence.

She then switched attorneys and is now represented by drunken driving specialist Richard Hutton. Hutton did not immediately return several calls for comment Thursday.

Hilton will be jailed for about 23 days of a 45-day sentence and will be separated from the general inmate population, authorities decided after reviewing her case.

The shorter sentence reflects an expectation that Hilton behaves behind bars.

Oh, how little they know of her reputation!

She will be held in a “special needs housing unit” at the Century Regional Detention Center in suburban Lynwood, Whitmore said.

And, presumably, she will be chauffeured there on a shortbus.

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another reason to hate Ford

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Dubya Plugs in car

The CEO of the Ford Motor Company forcibly prevented George W. Bush from blowing himself up last week.

It seems that plugging a live electrical cord into a hydrogen tank is not the wisest course of action, although why we should expect wise courses of action from the man who makes Gerald Ford look intellectual and Donald Duck look diplomatic is beyond me.

Also, quote of the day!

“I just thought, ‘Oh my goodness!’ So, I started walking faster, and the President walked faster and he got to the cord before I did. I violated all the protocols. I touched the President. I grabbed his arm and I moved him up to the front,” Mulally said. “I wanted the president to make sure he plugged into the electricity, not into the hydrogen This is all off the record, right?”

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