Old Spice Guy is Canucks Fan
Actual proof the Old Spice Guy is, in fact, perfect: He’s a Canucks fan.
No, LOOK at them.
Yep, pretty much perfect.
Click over the jump for some less perfect celebrities.
Attention World!
Category Archives: Celebrity
Ratinox revealed!
Julian Assange plays strip scrabble with raincoaster. We ALL win!
Wouldn’t you like to see the secret stash of deliciousness from The Artist Formerly Known as HarryHarrison (at least to users of nerdlink filing-cabinet sites and OK Cupid; think of delicious as Tumblr but for nerds, not hipsters)?
Yes, of COURSE you would, you sick perv, you.
Behold, the collected bookmarks of Julian Assange:
Gogol Bordello (band) SAVE | SHARE [Oh, Julian, you hipster wannabe]
Voltaire and Emilie du Chatelet SAVE | SHARE [yeah, no wonder I love this man]
Access The Great Books SAVE | SHARE [do you think he’ll put his OWN book here, or insist you buy via Amazon affiliate link?]
Julian Assange teacup shot. Is that a venti?
And so on. At least he lost interest and got busy with Wikileaks before adding the obligatory “I’m in my late 30’s and still want to pull hipster chicks” nod to Arcade Fire.
Still, Arcade Fire DID do this:
for which the fact they are an ageing hipster’s favorite band is forgiven, because this particular iteration of this particular song is the great protest anthem of our time. We’re not as raw as The Clash, but our riots aren’t just Quiet: they’re silent, but for the clicking of keys on an iMac. Vaguely apologetic but inexorable, conscious of the past and very much aware of this moment in history, twee, precious, metrosexual but somehow effective nonetheless; yup, this is us, right here, right now. But where was I?
Oh yes, perving on Julian Assange, checking out four year old bookmarks, and introducing our celebrity gossip links for today.
Links: You just can’t get enough, you insatiable pervs!
Dandruff of Destiny!
Birds are pretty. Even bird dandruff is pretty.
Let this be a lesson to you, the next time you think your footprint in time is banal and squalid. This is the print made by a bird who flew into a window; he left behind his image in dandruff. So the next time you’re feeling like your life is dull and meaningless, remember this dandruff print and let fly, Andrew WK style!
Andrew WK gets his freak on with Conan
There, don’t you feel all One With The Cosmos again? If that doesn’t do it, skip over to our old blog buddy LettersHomeToYou and read the Desiderata for Bloggers.
Stumble aimlessly amid the trolls and waste, but remember what peace there be in staring at your toes for a couple of weeks. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all readers. Publish your posts quietly and clearly, and listen to podcasts, even the dull and garbled, for they too have a right to hog bandwidth. Avoid loud and aggressive bloggers. They are pains in the ass.
Vox, dude!
Except for the part about the podcasters. I’m not so sure about those guys; after all, when regular radio is as bad as it is right at this moment, who needs to listen to a bunch of amateurs for poorly-formed opinions, delivered in garbled and techo-tarded fashion? Also: bandwidth is cheap now!
Ah, sic transit gloria monday. I always wondered what happened to gloria tuesday. Guess she drove instead of taking the bus. And how were they both related to TGI Friday?
Where was I? Oh yes, posterity. Click over the jump to see what the rich and famous did today that’s going down in history. Or, in the case of political mistresses, going down on history. And I totally stole that joke from a 30-year-old Vanity Fair magazine.
Batman’s Blind Date Unicorn Chaser
Batman's Buggysnake was HUGE!
What’s that they say about not frightening the horses? Now that we’ve set the mood, here is a lovely little video of Batman’s sexiest costars, including everyone from Eartha Kitt to Tallulah Bankhead. Okay, they’re really one soul in two bodies. How about everyone from Zsa Zsa Gabor to Jill St. John…oh, okay, same deelio. Lemme try again.
Well fuckit, just skip ahead to 1:29 to witness Batman having a Brady Fetish Moment.
MARCIA!!!
Doesn’t that just turn your crank?
Batman gets his bat trunks in a twist
As if that weren’t enough, check out this Euro-fabulous (or is that Brazilian-fabulous) Bat Dance, 100% Prince-free!
and the sequel
But wait: there’s more! Yes, it’s Hump Day, and that means gossip links! And since this roundup took me two and a half hours, you’d better believe you’re only getting one post per blog today! Click over the jump for the extra-elaborate and extra-profane celebrity gossip for the day.
Announcing: the new Canadian flag!
All hail the socialist republic of Canucksistan!
All hail the newly-born socialist republic of Canucksistan! My predictive abilities have been pretty good recently, so I say the nation should last something like, oh, seven games plus overtime.
What do you mean you don’t worship the Canucks? Don’t you know they can fly, bitches? THEY CAN FLY!
Canucks can totally fly, a result of pixie dust produced in Canada's gay-friendly bars
Also, you really, really don’t want to piss off their supporters. No, you really don’t.
Then again, maybe you do.
Contrary to the title, the boobs are not actually flashbulbs
In any case, there are in Canuckistan currently no bigger celebrities than the Canucks (except maybe Ann Murray, of course) but as a token of appreciation for our foreign readers we hereby present the celebrity gossip roundup, one day late because apparently I’m so hot I can’t write uninterrupted in a public place anymore. At least yesterday the men bought be drinks: the one today just tried to break a window. On the other hand, that could be the difference between the DTES and Yaletown…
raincoaster 