Alec Baldwin. My first tweet. Maybe I need a glass of wine beforehand. I feel so shy.

Welcome to the internet, Alec Baldwin. Say goodbye to the rest of your life.

Proof? He’s Alec! Fucking! Baldwin! And he has nothing better to do on a Friday Night than make twenty or so tweets.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Mister Alec! Fucking! Baldwin!

You are Worthless, Alec Baldwin

I was sent from planet Xiron to conquer the earth

I had a terrific plan — I thought it would work

Tried to get the Earthlings all to kill each other you see

But it all went wrong and now I must decree…

You are worthless Alec Baldwin, you are worthless Alec Baldwin

You failed in every way and now my stock in you has fallen

Your career is stallin’ and you’re worthless Alec Baldwin

That’s why I blew your head off and your children are all bawlin’

Planet Xiron is inhabited with Xipods like me

But also with Balmacs who are giant bees

The Xipods and Balmacs are at constant war

So we wanted a new home and that’s what Earth was for

But you are worthless Alec Baldwin, you are worthless Alec Baldwin

You fucked up my whole plan and now Xiron is smeared with Balmac pollen

Your garbage needs some haulin’ and you’re worthless Alec Baldwin

Now I must return home a failure — I’m afraid the pit of Kryrok is callin’…