the DIRTY Secret

New Age Without Shame podcastHere’s the real secret, folks:

Sometimes New Agers can be real assholes, and the worst thing is, they float through life, wittering happily about scheduling their acupuncture according to the phases of the Jupiter’s moons, oblivious to the damage they cause, high on vast, expensive pharmacopaeas of anti-depressants and “herbs” and the fumes of rare jasmine and patchouli. And if you address their asshollery, they tell you you’re “attracting negativity by being negative” but it never once occurs to them that they, themselves, could be that negativity. I’m recycling this from the comments over at Aaron Swartz’s blog, because it deserves a wider audience, I think.

I had cancer once, a long time ago, and a friend of mine who’d come over for a “cheer me up” visit looked me in the eyes and asked, “What have you done to bring this into your life?

I paused a moment and said, “Do you mean what have I done to bring into my life people who could ask such a question of a cancer patient?

Yeah, I don’t see her so much anymore.

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This England??? For all those who love England’s green-faced, unpleasant, bland…

 Kate Moss...it was so long agoIt seems so long ago that legendary beauties Kate Moss and Sophie Dahl were discovered in England; things are apparently very different now.

Ladies and gentlemen, stop what you’re doing. While we have all been going mindlessly about our daily business, perhaps dropping a dime into a beggar’s cap, writing a cheque for Darfur, protesting the Iraq invasion, or tithing to Greenpeace, a silent crisis has been brewing in the United Kingdom.

Your dollars, your rubles, your rupiahs: they will not solve this terrible problem. Indeed, they seem to have pounds galore, more than they know how to spend properly: this commodity is more precious. Money cannot solve this. There is only one thing that can.

Beaver.

Gentle readers, click upon the link I shall give you, and as you do so, realize that in the land that gave the world the Spice Girls, this is what currently rents for £640 an hour. Keep the eyewash handy, people.

Book your flights now: do your part for England. Or at least, share your parts with England.

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only 43 shopping days till my birthday!

And guess what’s on the list, right after “a pony”?

my little cthulhu!

Cthulhu C’Loves you! The “Great Cute One” has come to give humanity tentacle hugs and maw kisses! This 8-inch vinyl toy, created by John Kovalic (creator of Dork Tower) also comes with two Little Victims that fit in My Little Cthulhu’s snuggly grasp and also pull apart to show their yummy red insides! Not intended for children under 13.

This red version of the My Little Cthulhu figure is exclusive to paizo.com and is limited to a run of 500 pieces.

A ten-tentacle salute to Dr Mike for feeding my Elder Squid fixation.

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how to get into Courtney Love’s pants

Doesn't she look great? 

One-time offer! Now, for the low, low price of just $99, you, too, can enjoy the experience once limited to the greatest rock star in the world and, before that, to anyone who tipped the stripper in coke.

from Gawker:

Sure, $99 seems like a lot to pay for a pair of slacks that have contained Courtney Love, but all proceeds go to the Chrysalis Organization, an organization that helps homeless people and ex-cons find jobs. It turns out that Courtney Love is a big humanitarian! Well, not as big as she used to be.

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fanboy fave Brian Atene on the set of Star Wars: the Empire Strikes Back

What can be said about Brian Atene that hasn’t been said already, probably by himself?

Well he’s BACK, ladies and gentlemen, and we at the ol’ raincoaster blog have got him!

In fact, we at the ol’ raincoaster blog are so behind we actually gave him to Defamer and they ran it on Monday (even though we were banned; we’re too, too kind, and as for our subsequent un-banning, let me just say that Gawker Media interns are shockingly susceptible to a properly executed tandem deployment of the Venus Butterfly and the Mars Rover and now we return you to your regularly scheduled blog), that’s how backlogged we are. But we bit the bullet and swallowed the ex-lax and unclogged the pipes and shat out the following new video from Brian Atene, just for you.

He’s on a quest: a quest to return Lando Kalrissian to his rightful place at the command of the Millennium Falcon, with faithful Chewbacca by his side. Shall we join him?

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