Category Archives: conspiracy

The Truth About Hillary Clinton!

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Hillary Clinton cannot be captured in photographs!

Hillary Clinton cannot be captured in photographs!

Oh, the lamestream media has gotten their greedy, cover-uppy little claws on this shocking photoevidence and their appallingly tepid attempts to spin are fully steaming ahead. According to the Daily What (part of the shady icanhascheezburger network, and are we really sure Rupert Murdoch doesn’t have his fingers in that pie? Hmmmmm?) this series of pictures shows that cultist Israelites made Hillary Clinton vanish from a photo she was in.

Au contraire, mister cheezburger, au contraire.

What it actually proves is that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (aka Hillary Rodham, aka Hillary Rodham Clinton) cannot, outside of the carefully controlled environs of the White House PR Department, be photographed. Obviously, the top photo is the original which was mistakenly sent out on the wires, and the below, now-iconic image, is the official White House version, sent out only after artful photoshopping to make the S of S visible on film, which she normally is not.

As for conclusions, there can be only one, and it can come as no surprise to anyone who’s followed this woman’s career over the past two decades.

Hillary Clinton is of the Undead.

They took images of Ye Xiangting with other people. They were stunned when the other people showed up in the computer images, but not Ye. Ye Xiangting seemed to have “disappeared” from the photos. In the end, the staff had to give up.
——————————————————————————————
…Maybe he’s a vampire? vampire

Posted by Jackie  on  Fri Jan 13, 2006  at  01:56 PM

No, Jackie, I don’t think he is.Since he is Chinese, if he was a vampire, he would bounce up and down or across the countryside like a kangaroo. There’s no mention of that in the article.

Logical.

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Spockthulhu!

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Spockthulhu says Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

Spockthulhu says Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn. It's only logical.

via JanKarlsbjerg

Oh my god, this makes SO MUCH SENSE! The Vulcan/Romulan split is nothing more than an interplanetary manifestation of the extra-cosmic conflict which rages eternally between the Great Old Ones and the Elder Gods. No wonder I always had a crush on Spock…and just imagine what he can do with all those flexy, flexy appendages! At last, the secret of Pon Farr is revealed: revealed to be nothing more and nothing less than a rite for the summoning of CTHULHU!!!

Does this mean we should ally ourselves with the Romulans to suppress the Great Uprising, or does it mean we should just, you know, like, go with it?

WILL YOU BE EATEN FIRST?

Cthulhu sez Om to the nom nom, baby!

Cthulhu sez Om to the nom nom, baby!

Osama bin Laden vs Donald Trump

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Osama Bin Laden has his paperwork in order

Osama Bin Laden has his paperwork in order

Once Birthered, twice shy. Barack Obama is taking NO CHANCES this time around, thankyouverymuch Donald Trump!

Starwhackers, the Liveblog

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Randy and Evi Quaid Mugshots

Randy and Evi Quaid Mugshots

Yes, I was at the world premiere of Randy and Evi Quaid‘s billed-as-docudrama-but-actually-comedy, “Starwhackers.” And it was…um…it was…unforgettable? Bizarre? Amateurish? Uninformative? Maddening?

Yeah, that.

So here is the transcribed-from-my-notes liveblog, several days after the fact. Protip: take a Gravol before watching this thing, it appears to have been shot on iPhones held by a caffeine junkie.

I will assume you’re familiar with the background: that the Quaids fled the US claiming they were being persecuted by so-called starwhackers, who kill important stars for the insurance money and also to keep the internet fed with drama (guys, trust me, the internet doesn’t need a new source of drama). The audience was palpably hoping that this film would explain the idea a bit better, but this movie is anything but linear and logical. There were no answers here. There weren’t even any coherent questions.

Click over the jump for the whole fiasco:

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It’s FRIDAYYYYYYYYYYYY!

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It's FRIDAY! Time to peel those scales off your eyes!

It's FRIDAY! Time to peel those scales off your eyes!

If you’ve wondered, along with the rest of the internet, about the root cause of Rebecca Black’s sudden, irresistable stardom, may I suggest a close viewing of the following will clear up all ambiguity.

All ambiguity.

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age.
HP Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu