Why I Hate Mother’s Day

Batman on Mother's Day

via TheDailyWhat

Amen to that, My Favorite Comic Book Hero, and don’t forget all the “heartwarming” forwarded emails with dancing bunny gifs. I always feel like responding with, “Your email was so moving, it made me cry. And remember the few years my mother and I had together before SHE WAS CRUELLY AND PAINFULLY TAKEN FROM HER CHILDREN.”

The only plus side to Mother’s Day is the perfume deals, which I managed to miss entirely this year, having spent mother’s day either in the hospital getting checked out or at home asleep. Mind you, the view was not half bad at the hospital, thanks to all the weekend rugby warriors in with sprains, etc. The one with his face split open from a kick was particularly handsome…

Okay, so I have unusual tastes. Sue me.

Adventures into Darkness, horror stories

Image via Wikipedia

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

Obama’s Secret Plan: the Banksy Initiative!

superpoop.com

Already secretly in operation for years, the shadowy movement known as The Banksy Initiative has at last penetrated the highest levels of the US government. From here, it’s a small step to completely pwning the entire transportation infrastructure of all NAFTA-participant nation-states.

You’ve been warned.

Motto:

Act Locally, Pwn Globally

Add to FacebookAdd to NewsvineAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Furl

Stephen Hawking never stood a chance

Stephen Hawking is so cool he can fly!

Poor, poor Stephen Hawking. You know Stephen Hawking: media personality, author of A Brief History of Time, Lucasian Professor for Mathematics at the University of Cambridge. You know, Cambridge. The one in England.

Why should you pity him? Because his life is in imminent danger!

A no-doubt-soon-to-be-unemployed editorial writer at Investor’s Business Daily is strongly of the impression that the brilliant British physicist owes his life to having been born and raised in the Good Old U. S. of A.

People such as scientist Stephen Hawking wouldn’t have a chance in the U.K., where the National Health Service would say the life of this brilliant man, because of his physical handicaps, is essentially worthless.

via TheVanityPress

Let us not disturb baby’s dreams. It would only be cruel. After all, the poor boy can’t help it: he undoubtably went to American schools.

Add to FacebookAdd to NewsvineAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Furl

Meerkat Sniper Caught In the Act

Longtime readers will know that we at the ol’ raincoaster blog accept no mere whispers; gossip is to us as the obscene fingerings of the first filthy breeze of the approaching sandstorm. No, we are all about the scientific proof here at Operation Global Media Domination HQ.

Thus we pass along the following, conclusive proof of the Great Meerkat Conspiracy, the obscene worldwide plot to banish Fairies from the face of the Earth and seize control of the barrows for their own nefarious meerkattarian purposes. What was once only whispered may now be forwarded to CNN (appropriately link-credited, please!).

Meerkat Sniper caught in the act, the bastidge!

This is a Blogathon post. Don’t just sit there, SPONSOR ME!

Add to FacebookAdd to NewsvineAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Furl

Meerkat Attack!

meerkat attack, the fucker!

I know we’ve discussed this before, mostly on Twitter and in the Anti-Fairy Conspiracy comments, but NEVER turn your back on a meerkat. They’ll rip your throat out as soon as look at you, and if they know you’re onto them, there is no end to their wicked, weasely wiles.

This is a Blogathon post. Don’t just sit there, SPONSOR ME!

Add to FacebookAdd to NewsvineAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Furl