Ohhhhhh, we know some bloggers who’ll be so jealous! But no, we at the ol’ raincoaster blog got it first!!!
via Deadspin
If you think it’s too gross to be shown on tv, just realize that this PSA aired during Hockey Night in Canada; anyone who watches that is totally jaded, violence-wise already.
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As our devoted stalkers are aware, some time ago the ol’ raincoaster, through no fault of her own, joined the ranks of the gainfully employed. It was a Teeny disruption, which, like so many an apparently-minor event, began a slide down a slippery slope; she may even end up respectable one day!
In the course of such employment, she not infrequently stumbles across posts of genuine interest, sprinkled between the millions generic “Britney Does Something Scandalous/Angelina Walks On Water, Gives It To Dehydrated Africans” headlines.
This post by the Mr. Henry on the Manolofood blog is just such an one.
Walrus. Fucking. Turducken. Sushi.
Aged walrus fucking turducken sushi.
Pass teh bucket!
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First, some motivational music. Preeeeeee-senting the Arrogant Worms performing their breakout hit (Arrogant Worm nerds: no backtalk, please) Carrot Juice is Murder. Stolen from Seismic Twitch, and cross-posted in a couple of days to TeenyManolo. Lyrics over the jump, philosophical thesis statement, below.
And now, to the debate.
I’d like to introduce as a concept the proposition that quality of life impingements can be a justification for euthanasia. Now, I’m just saying that it is widely accepted that, if one’s quality of life were to decline to a point at which one could not move freely, think clearly, or make oneself understood with the inherent dignity which is humankind’s birthright, a painless form of euthanasia is an option which the majority of people believe should be made available to one within the framework of the law.
Example: Britney Spears.
Furthermore, I would like to suggest that, as we exterminate zombies not so much because they are zombies but rather as a tribute to the vast gap between who they are now and the humans that they once were, so, too, we should look at the principle of falling-somewhat-short-of-humanity as it applies to other life forms, such as vegetables.
They’re vegetables.
Not only are they vegetables, but they have no hope of becoming anything else within their lifetimes, free-roaming creative raw foodists who are dab hands with a smoothie notwithstanding.
Conclusion:
We should do our part. We should find the vegetables, wherever they are, and we should put them out of their suffering. We should do it now.
Animals, on the other hand, have no difficulty moving around and comporting themselves with greater elan than your typical celebutard. Like the inspirational blogger BeastFeaster, sworn to consume 52 species of the Animal Kingdom in 52 weeks, I’m switching to a renewable flesh-based diet. Perhaps I shall consume only limbs amputated on the field of battle, as a kind of recycling initiative.
Meat: the responsible choice. the moral choice. the only choice.
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In shocking news from exotic Nottingham, we have learned that a disgruntled and highly competitive chocolatier has attacked and “inappropriately handled” the truffles of his competition.
Lynn Cunningham from Hotel Chocolat said: “It was quite extraordinary really.
“The staff observed Mr Colenso handling a number of truffles in a way that made them suspicious.
“When we checked the truffles later they had been squashed and damaged.”
She said Hotel Chocolat was told by Thorntons that Mr Colenso had “handled the truffles inappropriately“.
“We just want to move on now,” she said.
Let the healing process begin.
Remember, one should always be careful about letting one’s competitors finger one’s truffles.
raincoaster 