Oft have I been asked of the perspective of the blogger vs the civilian. And, frankly, YES, you have just as much to fear from us as you’ve always worried.
Category Archives: Culture
Jizz In My Pants
To be quite frank, it’s been quite some time since there was jizz or, in fact, anything but me, in my pants, unless someone’s gotten up to something I don’t know about in the laundry room.
Ew.
Lyrics from thelonelyisland:
Lock eyes from across the room
down my drink while the rhythms boom
take your hand and skip the names
no need here for the silly games
make our way through the smoke and crowd
the club is the sky and I’m on your cloud
move in close as the lasers fly
our bodies touch and the angels cry
leave this place go back to yours
our lips first touch outside your doors
a whole night what we’ve got in store
whisper in my ear that you want some more
and I
JIZZ IN MY PANTS
This really never happens you can take my word
I won’t apoligise, that’s just absurd
Mainly your fault from the way that you dance
and now I
JIZZ IN MY PANTS
don’t tell your friends or I’ll say your a slut
plus its your fault, you were rubbing my butt
I’m very sensitive, some would say thats a plus
Now I’ll go home and change
(JORMA) I need a few things from the grocery
do things alone now mostly
left me heart broken not lookin’ for love
surprised in my eyes when I looked above
the check out counter and I saw a face
My heart stood still so did time and space
Never felt that I could feel real again
But the look in her eyes said I need a friend
She turned to me thats when she said it
Looked me dead in the face, asked “Cash or Credit?”
And I
JIZZED IN MY PANTS
It’s perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me
But we’re going to need a clean up on aisle 3
And now I’m posed in an awkward stance because I
JIZZED IN MY PANTS
To be fair you were flirting a lot
plus the way you bag cans got me bothered and hot
please stop acting like you’re not impressed
One more thing, I’m gonna play by cheque
Last week – I saw a film
As I recall it was a horror film
Walked outside into the rain
Checked my phone and saw you rang and I
JIZZED IN MY PANTS
(JORMA)Speeding down the street when the red lights flash
need to get away need to make a dash
A song comes on that reminds me of you and I
JIZZ IN MY PANTS
(ANDY) The next day my alarm goes off and I
JIZZ IN MY PANTS
Open my window and a breeze rolls in and I
JIZZ IN MY PANTS
When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of sixth sense I
JIZZED IN MY PANTS
I just ate a grape and I
JIZZED…IN…MY PANTS
JIZZED…IN…MY PANTS
Ok seriously you guys can we…ok…
I JIZZ RIGHT IN MY PANTS EVERY TIME YOU’RE NEXT TO ME
AND WHEN WE’RE HOLDING HANDS ITS LIKE HAVING SEX TO ME
YOU SAY IM PREMATURE I JUST CALL IT ECSTASY
I WEAR A RUBBER AT ALL TIMES ITS A NECESSITY
Cuz I
JIZZ…IN…MY PANTS
(I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants, yes I jizz in my pants, yes I jizz in my pants)
yes I JIZZ…IN…MY PANTS
(I jizz in my pants (AKIVA!), I jizz in my pants)
ANDY & JORMA
AKIVA as the DJ
JT as the Janitor
Molly Sims & Jamie Lynn Sigler
Hot Chick Post: Bettie Page, Living Legend, In Critical Condition
- Bettie Page, the notorious
Bettie Page, the wholesomest stripper the world has ever seen and probably the original model for BOTH Betty and Veronica, is hospitalized in critical condition in Los Angeles after a heart attack. The 85-year-old legend is reported to be in a coma at an unnamed LA-area hospital.
Here is some video of Bettie in her glory days of 1950, stripping with her trademark smile and a wink (and slight White Girl’s Rhythm).
from CelebritySmack
Sarah Palin’s Christmas Special!
You just can’t keep a bad ex-candidate down. Yes, the Dan Quayle of Alaska is back, with a retro holiday special sure to bring a tear to the eye.
from Jimmy Kimmel via SeriouslyOMG
Eavesdropping at the Ovaltine
See, this is why I need a laptop. So I don’t have to snarf the last half of my meal and RUN home, desperately trying not to jostle my brain and let all the golden eavesdrops fall out.
More or less verbatim, heard from my perch on the highly prestigious “booth side” of the Ovaltine, coming from the less-prestigious but more collegial Stud Row otherwise known as the “counter side” where all the old men sit.
In an unmistakably Black American voice:
Seventy-three years old. SEVENTY-THREE YEARS OLD! Know what they told me? They told me I have Diabetes. DIABETES! I need diabetes at seventy-three. I need it like I need a hole in the head. I’m gonna die anyway, hell, I’ve been dead for years. Been through four wars, got two bullets in my back. I died twice! Saw the lights and everything. A white South African brought me back last time, which just goes to show.
What? It shows you!
I was in four wars. I was in Vietnam. I was in Vietnam twice. It started back in the 1800’s. The south part of Vietnam is 98% Buddhist. 2% Catholic. The Catholics tried to take over the country.
God? God didn’t have nuthing to do with it. God? What’s God? I’ll tell you. I’ll TELL you what God is.
God is a crazy old white woman!
What wars was I in? I was in Vietnam. I was a Canadian sergeant in Vietnam, I knew who my friends were. I’ll tell you that. I knew. I was in the dirty war in the Congo in… what? … 66. In 66 I was in the dirty war in the Congo. Died there. And I was in the dirty war in Brazil.
I’m a career soldier. Seventy-three years old. I got one foot in the grave and diabetes.
Halifax? Hey, no – why would I want to go to Halifax? My people were black Loyalists, we came to this country in 1776. We’ve never been slaves. My mother was a Jew. If your mother’s a Jew, you’re a Jew. It don’t matter who your daddy is. Everyone knows who mama is. Nobody knows for sure who Papa is. It’s smart. I was born in Labrador City. Moved to Montreal when I was eight. I was a bad boy, so my mother sent me off to Chicago to live with my uncle. I was so bad, they gave me a choice of join the army or go to prison, so I joined the army.I’m the worst kind. A career soldier. Seventy-three years old.
Montreal? MontREAL? No Halifax, I’ve never been to Halifax. Why would I go there? Why would anyone want to go to Halifax. No jobs, no people, no nothing. No, I’m from Montreal.
Ever seen the Fleur de Lis? You know what that is? It’s got six points. It’s the Star of David! I’m telling you, it’s the Star of David. Six points. Count ’em. Three up and thr
ee down. Star of David.
Cuz the first kings of France, they were Mary Magdalene’s people. A Tribe of Israel. They were Jews. So that’s the Fleur de Lis. The Star of David.
Wouldn’t it be something if the coalition government was headed up by the head of the Bloc? That would be something!
Seventy-three years old! I’ve been dead for years.
raincoaster 